And because of this thread I’m posting a warning to this effect in our guest bedroom. 
Note, too, that the OP was only expecting to be gone for 30 minutes and was only actually gone for 5 minutes or so. This isn’t a matter of a guy being alone in a house all day and getting bored: this is making a bee line for the dirty hamper the minute the OP left. This wasn’t an impulse, it was a plan. This isn’t about masturbation. It really, really isn’t.
I think it may be too late to tell the wife. If those panties have been washed and put into circulation then it’s too late. If you tell her now and there is the possibility that she has worn them, I believe she would be pissed beyond imagination.
You need to wash all of her panties with a little bleach when she is not around to avoid suspicion and never ever tell her what may have happened.
From 0% to 100%…How sure are you that those panties were your wife’s when he was “Strokin’ the Stroganoff”?
Consider all the possibilities that everyone presented here…and also your gut instinct.
Yes, why do you feel you must jump to conclusions and ruin what is almost certainly a completely innocent man’s livelihood? It’s like the Crucifixion and Saw II all rolled into one horrible, twisted lump! There are so many things that could really have been going on here. Here are a few very plausible scenarios!
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Nick’s religious parents have installed closed-circuit cameras in every room of his house to make sure he doesn’t pleasure himself at home. Poor Nick had to bring his fiancee’s smelly boy-shorts all the way into your guest bedroom just to get a simple yank in. Coincidentally, they are the exact same kind that your wife wears!
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These panties were rolled up in your bedlinens from poor housekeeping and your kindly friend Nick put them back in the hamper for you! Nick truly is the embodiment of friendship made flesh.
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You thought you saw your wife’s panties, but actually it was a spooky ghost! Heroic Nick dispatched the ghost with his sacred powers and saved you all. Is this how you repay him?
Who’s got some more?
Please don’t tell me it’s the Ghost of Christmas Present or I’ll never read Dickens the same way again.
- 0.00000001%
- 0.01%
- 0.0%
Keep’em coming, colander!
These possibilities, while obviously made in furtherence of your point, support mine, because they show it is possible there is an innocent explanation.
usedtobe - right of reply may not quite be the right way of putting it - I am not suggesting if he actually has been doing something perverted that the OP or OP’s wife should mention this guy’s disclaimer whenever they tell anyone else (if they decide to). Right to refute may be a better way of putting it. He surely is deserved a chance to explain himself. Note that I do not say that just coming up with a story is good enough and he should be given the benefit of the doubt if it’s just about possible but not plausible. But if this is all a horrible mistake, let’s not let it get any deeper.
Secondly, while I’m probably one of the few men that has never sniffed any underpants or indeed any other female garment in my life (indeed I have refused the opportunity on several occasions even when frankly pressured into it by the garment owner), nor even understood the appeal, I do feel the need to refute the claims that viewing porn at a friend’s house is wrong. This is something that almost all men since the 80s have done I would think, and I cannot see any reason at all for there to be a problem with that. Olives, you may think it’s abnormal, but us men know differently. It has nothing in common with this.
An analogy would be jerking off to images/video of someone’s girlfriend. I should probably warn in the latter situation that almost everyone I know who sleeps with shitloads of women has shown the evidence at work and to their friends. So as a general word of caution, if you’re gonna play with a player, don’t let him take photos if this bothers you.
o god my brain is leaking out all over my hands. o god i can see you now i see everything now its so beautiful
you would think a colander would be used to this sort of thing
Just got home from dinner with my wife and haven’t been able to read the responses since last night, so I’m not sure what has developed since then.
I told her exactly what happened, basically as outlined in my first post. I’ll elaborate further on what transpired later tonight, but at first she thought I was joking. When she found out I was deadly serious she was pissed off, very pissed. She went on about how she knew he was a creep, just not this creepy, et cetera. After calming down during dinner and us moving onto other topics, she did add a little humor to the situation on the car ride home by rhetorically stating, “Am I supposed to be flattered or grossed the-fuck-out?” She was the latter, by the way.
she was angry and grossed out?
huh!
Have to say, despite my devil-advocatey-posts, I’m glad that you did tell her. If you feel it was the right thing to do then it almost certainly was.
But please please please give the guy a chance to explain himself before consequences happen (after also explaining quite clearly how high the stakes are, and if he is an alky then do this when he is sober, also if he was drunk at your house making sure that he knows the cricumstances cause he may have blackedout). I am sure it will be pretty obvious to you within the first minute or two whether he has any credibility or not.
Good on you, Crime Scene.
Simple Linctus, that’s all well and good, but again, I don’t think the guy’s going to tell the truth. Or if he does, I’m guessing the OP’s going to find out more than he wants to know. Either way, I think the guy forfeited any rights he had – I don’t think being drunk excuses anyone from being a creep. “I was drunk” isn’t an excuse to be an asshole.
And his wife DEFINITELY had the right to know before this guy had any right to explain himself.
I’m glad you told her, Crime Scene.
If he was sniffing CS’s wife’s panties, then no, he probably isn’t going to tell the truth (unless CS has another take on this, knowing the guy - but while he says that the bloke is very straightforward he also says he will probaby not admit this).
But the point is not to get a confession. The point is to check if there is an innocent explanation. In the most likely case that this guy is a perv, then he almost certainly doesn’t have a good explanation (even lined up after all this time) - because what good explanation can there be, really? However, if there is an innocent explanation then it is an ethical duty on CS to hear it out, there really is, especially since CS says his wife is going to tell others. And by the way if that is the case then it may be a good anecdote for the best man’s speech at pervy guy’s wedding.
One more sneaky option, which I don’t really condone, and frankly it’s a bit out of my experience but I mention it cause (a) it could be a compromise and (b) it sounds doable in theory, is for CS to take the guy out for a drink (alone) and basically pretend to be a deviant panty sniffer himself, and offer a “quid pro quo” of sniffing this guy’s fiance’s panties. I have no doubt at all that the guy’s reaction will almost immediately demonstrate whether he is innocent or not.
She is not so angry she isn’t speaking to me or anything, but she did want to know why I waited so long from the event to tell her. She isn’t living in another world, so she knows this type of stuff happens, but I think she is rather shocked that a guy she thought she was firmly in the friend zone with would do this. I had to tell her again, for the umpteenth time, that with most guys, there is no friend zone; for some reason it doesn’t seem like a lot of women grasp that concept in relation to men. I’m thinking of referring her to this thread to let her know that I wasn’t holding back information in malice. Maybe I won’t though, since then she’ll know I come here for questions/venting/information etc.
That needs to be stressed. I drink a good bit. I socialize with people who drink far more than I. Yet we’re all good people, albeit with bad livers. Assholes need to stop giving drunks a bad name.
FWIW: I’m glad I told her too. This thread was starting to make me feel like I was the guilty party. I’m not blaming you guys or anything, but I guess it made me realize how big of a deal it really is/was. She also asked why I didn’t go pick her underwear up when I saw them on the floor and I told her exactly what I told you guys: I was shocked and embarassed and wasn’t thinking about anything but getting out of there.
Also, I had to pay for the whole dinner after breaking this news to her, when it was her idea to take me out.
She came to the conclusion about 15 minutes ago that she doesn’t mind if he visits now and again, but she does not want him staying the night or being here alone. Her mind is running wild on her, I think. “What if he is setting up toilet cams or whatever the hell he’s into?”
Jesus, now she has me paranoid.