Now she is asking me if she can tell her best friend (of course she is.) I did the whole, “Before I tell you this please don’t tell anybody.”
I’ll drink to that. In fact I am since I just booked tomorrow off, due to a major NE storm front.
Cheers!
I should also let you guys know that he wasn’t drunk during the incident. He was, of course, drinking by this time because it was after 9 am, but he was not intoxicated. To let you know how high this guy aims when it comes to personal goals his New Years Resolution last year was to not “start drinking before noon.” I don’t think alcohol had anything to do with his decision on this one, unless his brain is damaged from extended abuse.
Don’t show her this thread. That’s probably a bad idea. Do as you thought earlier – say you weren’t sure how to tell her, and you had to think about it, blah blah blah. Because then she’s going to see that you didn’t plan on telling her in the first place. I’m guessing that won’t go over very well.
My point is though, how will you know if said “innocent explanation” is the truth. Duh.
Thank you, Guin. That is good advice and I am definitely going to take it. I’ve got to start thinking about the consequences of my actions a little more :smack: Setting myself up on this one, I know.
I could be wrong, but a little paranoia doesn’t sound like a bad thing with this guy.
Do you understand that she has a good reason for this? I understand your concern for your friend’s privacy, but this isn’t just idle gossip; this is one of the ways women protect themselves - by telling other women about danger zones.
ETA: Unless it is just idle gossip. That’s pretty juicy stuff! 
I guess that I am the only one here a who’s a bit shocked that one of the SDMB’s sophisticated, world-travelling members hasn’t stopped in here to soundly rebuke everyone for being so provincial and narrow-minded, and grandly pontificate about the year they spent in the Slovakian countryside, where it is actually considered gauche and inhospitable to NOT offer all visiting male guests a pair of your wife’s (and/or teenaged daughter’s) freshly soiled panties for their erotic enjoyment, and how every home or cottage, no matter how humble, includes a lavishly furnished inspiruji spunnku, a room specifically dedicated for the masturbatory comfort of visiting friends.
Indeed, we have much to learn from them.
Can we nominate this for threadspotting? Amazing retort, I absolutely love it.
Score one for domestic wagon-circling over moochy alky dickheads!
Now that that’s out of the way, on to other important matters:
Nick is a CIA agent. No friends, lives out of town, drinks heavily to cope with the pressure.
Turns out there was a terrorist sleeper agent hiding in your garage. With time ticking away towards god-knows-what, Nick had to improvise some “enhanced interrogation techniques” with common household objects. He beat him with your garden hose, shocked his testicles with a makeshift cattle prod made out of your toaster, then waterboarded him in your kitchen sink. But the dastardly fellow wouldn’t talk.
Then, Nick remembered the trick that always worked back in Iraq… He had just returned from the hamper, bearing the desperately needed unmentionables, when you blundered in. If you had been a minute later, you’d have witnessed the hardened assassin crumple like tinfoil when he was made to wear your wife’s unwashed undies like some kind of freaky hat. It was a close call, but the forces of freedom prevailed.
Your poorly-secured laundry basket was the key that unlocked a fiendish transnational plot. But all you can do is complain about the violation of peoples’ “rights”. Why do you hate America?
Is this supposed to be funny and I’m just missing it? Or is dig at her for no reason?
Really would like to know. Care to explain?
I’m not a psychiatrist, cop, or any other relevant professional, but am a bit of a true crime buff. One thing that comes up in some of my reading is that a lot of serious predators start with small stuff like lingerie theft, Peeping Tom activity, etc., then escalate when the small stuff doesn’t offer much of a thrill any more. This guy’s known to trigger a creep-out reaction in women, so I think we can assume he’s a bit off, especially since you admit as much (alcohol problem, etc.).
If I found out my husband knew a guest in MY home was so willing to violate MY privacy and MY social boundaries, and not only covered up by not informing me what was done with MY property, but aided and abetted repeat performances by allowing this person into MY home again, I’d be looking for a good divorce lawyer because he’d be displaying a lot more concern about buddy’s tender widdle feelings than about my personal safety if/when this freak escalates.
News flash: a lot of serial rapists, etc., aren’t “diagnosed” with anything until they get busted.
I can’t help thinking the fiancee would be better off finding out just what she’s taking on with this guy. Wonder how a drunk with a poor sense of boundaries treats HER when there’s no one around as a witness/deterrent?
My husband has a bit of a thing for lingerie, and as long as he confines himself to mine, fine with me. If he’s fondling someone else’s, we have an issue because that goes over the mutually-agreed limit of his behavior with other women. If some friend of his is playing with my underwear, he knows, and he doesn’t tell me, we have an issue because the ONLY man who has my consent to go anywhere near my intimate apparel is my husband and I do NOT take well to not being informed of violations of MY privacy and property.
THIS !!! :eek:
Well, at least the major issue is resolved - CS’s wife knows.
For the males in the room: Women are social creatures. Men are loners> Yes, gross over-simplification, but it makes the point.
The concrete proof of the extent of the creep’s creepiness is critical to the group’s sense of security. NEVER try to extract a “Promise not to tell?!” from a woman. Telling is what women do, fer crying out load. The reason they accompany each other to the toilet is because they NEED to discuss what has transpired since their last chat (IOW: they are deciding if you are going to get any, and, if so, in what time frame).
Why yes, I do love women - even if they drive me batty.
(63; never married)
Which of course is why telling has now fucked the pervert’s life up, and why the wedding will probably not be going ahead - or if it is, the fiance’s relationships with this group are fucked.
The man needs to have one, just one, opportunity to explain what he was doing. I agree he probably is a super perv but if he isn’t you are about to fuck up someone’s life, and given his new years resolution, he’ll never be sober again
Can never know 100%. But he would be asked in court, or at least given an opportunity to testify in court, and that is best we can do. I am certain CS, knowing the guy this well, can judge his credibility.
P.S. Regarding “creepiness”, I have no problem at all with women doing it and totally agree it makes sense over all (am not one of these “waaa waaa I’m a nice guy waaa waaa suck my dick please babe” whingers) but it is a heuristic. A much less reliable heuristic, actually, than CS just asking him what was up. I think it should be up to CS how to broach the subject but it must be done and it must be done ASAP.
And by the way, since the dude’s life is probably fucked now, you (plural you = CS & wife) also have to think that you’ll feel a lot less conflicted about things in five years time when he’s <snipped pointlessly emotive statement> if you did your best to assure yourselves of his guilt.
To nitpick, only about social matters. If you want a commercial/military/criminal/political secret kept, women are better at it than men. A women might get drunk and “confide” in you that her sister is cheating on her husband, but she won’t tell you about the cool new hush-hush project she’s working on. I understand than some intelligence agencies make a point of recruiting women for just that reason.
Yes of course. Also, I heard that women can’t swim because their fast twitch muscles are too dense and also their number one fear is 1. ghosts and 2. the police.