Plus, they are so lazy and only eat beans and rice all of the time. Sombreros and reggaeton all the live long day!!! and They make houses out of ice cubes and hunt walruses for hide and insulating blubber!
Now you know more of the legend that is woman!
PS. Also they have vagina!!! did you know.
:(His marriage will be taking place in 8 months and I must say it is one fucked up relationship. We indeed from a small town as someone figured out earlier, thus all of the groomsmen know one another as well. We, as groomsmen, on multiple occassions I fucked up we feel about them getting married and honestly hope and pray that for some reason it is called off. Her parents are paying for all of it even though they have had interventions with them both about alcoholism and drug abuse.
My best friend was married in March and the guy we have been discussing was one of the groomsmen. We had a week long bachelor party where we left the state and partied pretty hard and this is where the extent of Nick’s alcoholism was noticed and addressed. He woke up each morning and had a beer or some wine; he would go into dts within 14 or so hours of not drinking.
Well, long story short, after the wedding he tried to quit drinking cold turkey and went into horrible detox. He had to be rushed to the hospital where he was diagnosed with pancreatitis and a few other ailments due to alcohol abuse; even this was not enough to stop him for drinking in the long run as he resumed his habit within two weeks of being released from the ICU. He had been telling us he was drinking a 12 pack a day, but in actuality he was drinking a case a day.
They both enable one another: She allows him to be an alcoholic because she was a wicked xanax problem and likes to dabble with methamphetamines to boot. I seriously doubt this panty sniffing episode is going to ruin his life at the same rate that this relationship he is in will.
That is another reason why I was so conflicted and just kind of hoped it could go unaddressed. His life is a mess and this just added to it; he has very few friends at all and if I defriend him he is down to about two. The relationship between us, as others have guessed, is not symbiotic; I cannot think of anything he has done for me as a friend in the last few years. He should have noticed something was up when some fringe friends were chosen as groomsmen over him when we were married in May of last year, but he just attributed it to my wife not wanting him in the wedding and me not really having a say, which is partially true.
Anyways, just thought I’d give you guys a little more background into what is going on with him. His destruction is looming right over the horizon, so I didn’t want to contribute to it anymore than I had to.
It’s good that you’ve told your wife, Crime Scene. Really, it had to be done, and she responded pretty much as you predicted. It’s not surprising at all that she wants to tell other women; it’s one of those things that has to be done.
Jeezuz - jumping to conclusions much? And it may be worth considering that if indeed pilfering panty perv’s life is fucked up, it will have been by his own hand. If airing this dirty laundry proves any of your histrionic haruspex correct, whatever it was, it was already on the way out.
By all accounts, ‘super perv’ has no mild-mannered alter ego that could cast some doubt on what it was that he was actually doing. I don’t think his super senses were innocently identifying the crotch kryptonite that was sapping his strength and leaving humanity in peril.
Seriously, thanks for telling her and I’m glad it went relatively okay!
Umm, no, that’s a rational line of thought. I’m not saying scour your house for hidden wires, but if you do see any blinking red lights somewhere unexpected.. you might want to check them out…!
I learned a new word today, mutch appreciated 
So you’d rather put your wife’s safety and peace of mind at risk to keep propping up someone whose behavior in your home was way out of line and super-creepy, whom you are not responsible for?
Keep in mind who you’ve made what promises and commitments to.
Now that the main issues is resolved, can you tell us some of these stories please?
Just wonderin’…
It’s not an easy place to be in, Crime Scene, and I empathise. I think we grow up with the idea that friends are friends for life - and often they’re not. Understand that you are not contributing to the destruction, he’s creating every little bit of it himself. He is where he is because of the noxious choices he makes again and again and again.
If it makes you feel any better about it, consider the other side of the coin where you no longer wish to be one of his enablers.
And Simple Linctus - 
Christ -
On the bright side, these two will each assure the other’s destruction, allowing the tranquility of a close-knit social group to settle back into placidity
For those who kept suggesting that the panties fell out of the bedclothes: note the OP says they were in plain view from the doorway. The odds of them sitting in that position unnoticed until creep came over is stretching things past the .-1% probability.
For those who think he brought a pair of his fiancee’s: This one’s for the menfolk: you’re at a friend’s house. How likely is it that you will choose that time and place to wankoff? He’s going to spend the night - what’s the hurry? Of all the rooms, in which is the easiest to tidy up?
Now, try answering the Q’s if you want a pair of panties, but did not think ahead (leave it alone, you nasty people) enough to bring your own?
You’d need to get the panties, do your business, and return them before anyone noticed them missing.
Bedroom vs bathroom is the first (hummm, odd choice)
Short term vs long term possession is the other.
Choice of time - a short window while C.S. was at the store vs all night when the lights went out.
He didn’t bring his own.
Xanax (a benzodiazepine) - I have extensive experience with the class - they are NOT to be played with - combined with meth?
If they do marry, the mortician will get one or both long before the divorce lawyers do.
Do creep’s parents know of her charming chemistry experiments? Perhaps, if they did, they might have enough control over the life they wrecked to call it off.
Maybe just maybe, becoming a pariah in a small town will be enough to make him get his shit together - at least long enough to find work in another town. Which is what he needs to do, before his actions get him and/or his mate arrest records. Sexual perversions which do not cross a legal line can be left in the town you leave; arrest records can’t. It sounds like there will be few “we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt” in his future if he stays there. Try to move to a new town as a “registered sex offender”.
Hmmm? Women swim quite well. And after a search it looks like snakes followed by public speaking* are women’s top fears.
*The latter position one I strongly sympathize with…
Another vote for you not ruining his life, Crime Scene. If anything, not enabling him here helps him reach rock bottom *before *three irreversible things have happened:
-his organs give out under the alcohol;
-her parents spend money they should be saving for her therapy on her wedding;
-she gets pregnant.
All of these not having happened will make both the couples return to Sane land more likely.
I’m really glad you told your wife Crime Scene, and I am genuinely sorry for your friend and his self-destructive life.
And thank you all for wonderful masturbation and panty sniffing euphemisms.
This fear goes all the way back to Eve and the garden of Eden.
Eves top fear was of a snake that spoke in public
By chance, are you a card carrying member of DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers)?
This is out of line. Do not take pot shots at members who aren’t even in the thread. It has nothing to do with the topic and should be saved for the Pit, besides…and you should very well know better by now.
This is a warning…if you have beefs with anyone on here, you know what forum to do it in.
I’m getting a strong feeling that you haven’t read the thread at all. :dubious:
Another vote that you aren’t ruining this guy’s life, Crime Scene. His actions are all his own, as are the consequences. I am sorry that he is so messed up, though - I don’t think he’s going to be surviving much longer, either, if he doesn’t stop drinking.
all very true - Crime Scene: you can’t do much for this messed up guy & his about to be messed up wife except call him on his actions and hope it’s enough to get his attention. from what you’ve said I believe you should, in fact, refuse to be in his wedding because that would be pretending any of this is OK
seriously - reread the post I quoted and think about this. image a baby in the situation.
overall, a very interesting thread. clearly I’m not the only one who thinks so. drama! outrage! freakiness!
Speaking as a woman… You should never let him inside your home ever again, and should treat him as an acquaintance (not a friend) when outside the home. There is no need to explain to him, he certainly knows the reason. I don’t think you need to bring it up with your wife unless she asks why the guy hasn’t been around. If I were in her place, I’d prefer to not know, because it is so creepy.
Just caught up with the rest of the thread including that the OP has told his wife… Good, that resolves another thought I had, which was… at the perpetrator’s wedding, is the OP’s wife expected to attend? Anyhow, now that she knows what happened, she can make her own decision about how she wants to deal with that, and OP and wife can discuss whether OP should still be groomsman.
There is a larger issue here and it is this: if I have learned just one thing about relationships over the 45 years of my life, it is to never, ever “guilt” or “pity” myself into maintaining a friendship with someone. It is never a good idea and it never ends well.
Particularly where the reason for pity is that they “friend” is a user who lacks other friends because, well, he’s got nothing to offer and just takes.
That’s bad enough - when in the bargain he starts pulling stuff like this, he’s showing he’s got no respect for you or your wife.
Harsh words perhaps, but think it over. I know you’ve been friends with this guy for many years, but right now that’s sounding more like inertia than friendship. You have only a limited amount of time and effort to put into friendships. Isn’t it better to put that effort into people who you can trust and who, in some way or another, reward the effort?