For gossiping maybe? That was all I could come up with.
I’m in the camp that says “he’s still my friend.”
Who am I to pass judgement? The guy made a mistake. Don’t get me wrong; I’ll learn from the guy’s mistake; but he hasn’t wronged me. I’d be more likely to try to help him than un-friend him.
What the?
How the?
Whaaaa?
You gotta 'splain this.
Me too. And it’s not really gossip.
I was thinking for allowing a friend to drive while intoxicated; or at least failing to stop it.
I might think twice about catching a ride home with Jack if he is driving, but a DUI definitely wouldn’t ruin a friendship. I consider alcohol just one of the things that can impair driving. Now if Jack had been texting that could put the friendship on rocky ground (just kidding).
I voted for (among other things) having different ideas for Jack and Diane. For Remorseful Jack and Dianne, if he or she made it a pattern, I would drift away.
I don’t judge all crimes equally. As an example, petty theft and DUI are both M1 misdemeanors here in Ohio, but I would be more leery of befriending someone convicted of theft vs. DUI. With theft, the person knows their action will hurt others and will violate their rights, thus it makes me distrust them. With DUI, the person did not *intend *to hurt anyone (and hopefully their foolish action did not hurt anyone), hence I would not have a trust issue with the person. But this certainly doesn’t mean a person who was convicted of DUI does not have problems they need to correct.
If it were Jack’s first offense, I’d be his friend. I’d also be enough of a friend to explain that driving drunk is like going outside and shooting a gun into a crowd. And if it happens again, he’d lose me as a friend.
This is based on a true incident, and the second time it happened, I crossed that person off my friend list.
The DUI driver who killed another person would be dead to me, actions have consequences and despite the pedestrian being drunk, it is still the drunk directed car that is the instrument of death.
One stop by police before damage is done, and lesson learned is acceptable enough.
Repeated DUI, even without being caught or even without injuring another person - they are dead to me. That person is simply putting the lives of everyone else at risk because of their personal failings, and they do not have that right.
In college I had a dinner party, and we were mostly drinking. When it got time to leave one of my friends was clearly staggery, and we suggested gently, and then more urgently, that she let her sober friend drive her home. She resisted at first until it became clear that everyone there was united, at which point she glared daggers at us and gave her friend the keys.
Five minutes later, the sober friend came back inside, stunned. The drunk friend had said, “Hey, I need to get something from the trunk, give me the keys,” and when soberfriend did so, drunk friend hopped behind the wheel and drove away.
We didn’t call the cops like we wanted to do, because that would’ve been kind of a dick move. But our friendship ended pretty soon after that.
“Being unusually stupid” is all I can come up with, unless they drove across a state line or something…
In my state after being arrested for DUI you have to spend a minimum 6 hours in the drunk tank to sober up. I know a guy who got arrested DUI, bailed out after 6 hours and drove himself home, only to be pulled over on the way for swerving, he was still over the limit and got his second DUI of the day!
I have lots of friends who drink and drive.
I wouldn’t quit being someone’s friend over a DUI, but the fact is that a person that gets a DUI isn’t usually just horribly unlucky: a person that gets a DUI is someone who habitually drives while under the influence. And my social set is mostly people in their late 30s and 40s. Anyone in that range that is driving drunk has a problem beyond a moment’s poor judgment.
Well considering people ‘unfriend’ others for running over cats with their car, then ya, it wouldn’t be shocking..
If I left my friends because they got a DUI, I would have no friends. Or a wife.
Diane should have enlisted others to help her remove this guy’s keys from his possession and call a cab. If she couldn’t do this then she should have called the cops. Guy is literally death on wheels. I hate drunk drivers and those who look the other way should feel guilt and remorse for what they have let happen. Innocent people die every day because of drunk drivers, why is this so hard to understand or care about?
Diane is still a friend but I don’t trust her judgement any more. If Jack expressed remorse and never did it again, I’d still be his friend but I’d watch him very carefully. Unrepentant Jack is consigned to the jerkass loser category.
Words are cheap - I think Jack is only remorseful he got caught. No longer my friend whatever his feelings - drunk driving kills people. The only difference in my mind between a drunk driver that was caught by the police and a drunk driver that killed someone is luck.
Mary/Diane whoever would still be my friend. I know how hard it is to tell other people what to do, and I wouldn’t expect her to tackle the guy rather than let him drive.
Being in NYC, I haven’t owned a car in 10 years, so the issue hasn’t come up in a while. But a few years back I went home for my high school reunion. It was held at a popular restaurant / bar / nightclub which is sort of in the middle of nowhere in suburban Connecticut. My SO was shocked at how drunk people were getting and there obviously weren’t taxi cabs coming to pick people up. Basically, our impression was that people out there seemed pretty used to getting shitfaced, just hopping in their cars and heading home.
Pretty similar to what happened to my friend.