It is possible. I belong to a few Yiddish groups on Facebook. After the election, some moron posted in one of them ‘I am so glad that friend of Israel, Trump won instead of that anti semite, Harris!’ As that particular group has a strict no politics rule, I did not respond in any way, I just reported the post to the mods.
If that is the case, I don’t see why they wouldn’t want to discuss it with me. I’m pro Israel. Without derailing this thread- I do not support Trump. I do not support Netanyahu.
As I said above, Stephanie claimed that Harris gave two contradictory speeches about Israel while campaigning. I asked politely for details. Rather than providing them, she reacted like an angry stranger on the net. We’ve discussed various scientifc discoveries, Dungeons & Dragons and assorted nerdy things over the years. I generally want more details. She and Bob generally provide them. This time, she behaved rudely and completely out of character.
And it may be they had these inclinations supressed/veneered even to themselves through a lifetime of being taught this was improper or rude to bring up — they may have even been convinced they were above it, in the sense of classical ethics, do and say the right things until it becomes second nature. But then something happened that blew off that suppressive veneer. May be something as simple that on one particular “single issue” dear to them, the unpleasant side happened to be the one advocating their position. Maybe they began seeing that some people were indulging the “gut feelings” and not suffering consequences.
If all you ever do to your negative tendencies is just wall them off and pretend they weren’t there, then all it takes is one crack in the wall for the containment to start failing and soon you will be engulfed.
Seems like at this point, on this issue she had progressed to the stage of seeing any question for more details as a hostile fact-check looking to prove that(her) wrong or challenging her to justify herself. So, too late, already they were caught up in a non-rational basis for their position.
I suspect she never listened to Harris’s speeches. She doesn’t know what was or wasn’t said that may appear to be contradictory. She was told by someone that the “contradictory speeches” exist, and took it on faith that it was true, possibly because it allowed her to use that as a shield against whatever other reasons she had against Harris (internalized misogyny, racism, whatever, whether she’s even aware of it or not).
By asking for clarification on the “contradictory speeches”, you’ve not only challenged her faith, but you’ve triggered a defense against the “other reasons” where she feels like you’re calling her a bad person.
Just a suspicion, but I have encountered this type of reaction before and it is rarely about the literal words being said.
I agree with others; these friends are lost to you.
A few years ago, Stephanie made a confusing post. I responded ‘As your friend I can confidenty say- I have no idea what you are talking about.’
She clarified that an online acquaintance had threatened to out her as a trans woman. I quickly responded ‘I do not see why this will or should change our relationship. If you didn’t want to tell us, that’s fine. The only people who need to know are medical professionals giving you treatment and Bob. Considering how long you two have been married, I am assuming he knows by now.’
After that, I let the matter drop.
When Bob and Stephanie were not clear that Trump was an evil fascist bigot, I messaged them privately. I said that being trans is nothing to be ashamed of, but I wasn’t sure who knew and it was not my right to tell anybody if she wanted to keep it secret. I then gave many examples of Trump’s anti LGBTQ+ bigotry. Based on his past actions and his officially endorsed ads, I predicted that trans rights would be the first to go. As Stephanie presumably wanted to continue to get HRT and not end up in prison, it was in her best interest to vote Harris. As Bob loved Stephanie, he should also vote Harris. Otherwise, when they came to take Stephanie away Bob could only say “I had the chance to do something by voting Harris. I chose to stand by and do nothing to stop this evil. Sorry, honey.”
In the end, Bob proudly posted that he was doing his civic duty by not voting. He said he had no responsibility for anything that happened.
Can I gently point something out here? I don’t see anyone “going MAGA” here. Your friends did not vote for Trump (as far as you know). Yes, they did not vote for Harris, but that is crucially different from voting for Trump. The latest post that seems to have been the final straw for you was your friend saying that the protesters were stupid because Trump could never become a king due to the protections of the constitution. Again, this is not the same as supporting Trump. It’s naive and perhaps stupid, but not actively supporting Trump. If this was an internet stranger, I would have no problem dismissing them, but these are 20 year friends. They deserve the benefit of the doubt. I think you owe it to yourself and to them to have further discussions on this and try to understand where they stand here rather than label them as MAGA based on this.
As I have said in other threads, and previously in this one- There is no real difference between supporting Trump, and just standing by and letting his evil happen. This was not a normal election. The choices were- fascism and not fascism. Those were the only choices. If you chose not to actively fight Trump, you are complicit in every crime he has committed or will committ.
It actually is the same. Standing idly by while evil people do evil things, has exactly the same result as supporting those people.
Lol! I know someone who truly believes he got fired for accidentally, respectfully misgendering a trans client’s pronoun in discussion with his team, one time. In reality, he’s been pounding this drum loudly for ages, to anyone who would listen, and to people who were sick of hearing him make fun of it, and they’d finally had enough.
There are posters here who detested trump but still couldn’t bring themselves to vote for Harris. They truly don’t see themselves as Trump supporters, despite the fact that they helped to elect him by not voting for her.
The longest undefended border in the world has a new and insurmountable wall running the entire length of its extent, from sea to shining sea, a barrier as real as it is imaginary. For Canadians, the constant recipients of Donald Trump’s lurid attempts to be press-ganged into becoming the 51st state, there is no longer any need for American border control at the many crossings into the United States. The border is now self-controlled and self-policed, with virtually the entire population of America’s peaceful neighbor to the north, my homeland, agreeing that crossing over to America is not just taboo — it’s a kind of betrayal, even borderline treasonous.
Thank you! Once again- At worst, Harris was a politican you disagreed with. The US would have gone on as usual with her as President. Trump was a fascist running on hatred and impossible financial promises. I and others warned then that a second term for Trump could be the end of democracy in this country.
Choosing not to vote, or to vote for a third party candidate was not saying ‘The choices are vanilla or strawberry, and I don’t want either of those.’. It was saying ‘The choices are fascism or not fascism. I will not vote for the only not fascist candidate who might actually win. I will allow fascism to happen, and then complain that nobody listened to me.’
Alas your friends and many others may have fell victim to the “they’re all the same, they’re all no good” strategy that election manipulators use to suppress those who could be fence-sitters. If they can’t be pushed to our side, then let’s have them decide they can’t bring themselves to vote for either and that way whatever happens is not their fault.
And yes, it’s aggravating when we see some of those who would be most vulnerable forego the chance to support those who would protect them.
From what we’ve been told about the interactions, they have been for a while now already at the stage of turning defensive towards anything they perceive as challenging them to justify their decision, and for all practical purposes relying on MAGA-adjacent points (the referred “do your own research about the speeches” thing) to deflect.
Update- I posted a comment quoting specific sections of Bob’s post I disagrred with. Each quote was followed by an explanation of why I disagreed, and facts and evidence supporting my position. I ended by saying that I was not a “timid bunny” and “motivated by fear”. I am convinced by facts and evidence. Do you have any to support your claims?
Neither he or Stephanie has responded. I don’t know if they have been active on Facebook since I posted the comment.