Who here has actually fallen out with friends and/ or relatives over this Administration?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I know we’ve touched on it in different political threads and a few have given short anecdotes.
I fell out with my brother - pretty much my last living relative - and I guess I just want to hear from others who are going through the same thing.

To be clear, I don’t think he’s full on Maga; but he is greedy AF and I’m realizing he’s a racist, too. I was angry, but now I’m heartbroken.

Do any of you see a time when you’ll make up with your maga family member? In the case that you have made up, have you returned to a normal relationship?

2

Kind of / sort of.

My step-father (separated from my mother, but not divorced) is 90% MAGA. Basically, he envies Trump, but acknowledges he’s also something of a bastard, which, if anything, increases the envy that he can do it and get away with it.

He’s had Covid (and been hospitalized twice for it) 3 times.

My mother stays married to him so he can stay on her health insurance, in no small part because of their son (my half brother). But he (said half-brother) barely speaks to his father anymore, and I haven’t in… 8 years. As he got older, he didn’t treat my mother or my brother with much respect, as they were both much more liberal and well-educated than he is. Don’t get me wrong, he’s plenty smart, and charming, but not educated, and NOT self-reflective.

My wife is far more torn. Her parents and a lot of her family are very traditional, and most served in the military, which you can debate on cause/effect for. She’s certain that they voted for Trump, but the family is largely good about NOT speaking about politics. I’m center-left, and she’s more leftward of me. Her parents watch Fox news and nothing but.

:face_exhaling:

What really hurts her, is she sees the inherent racism in MAGA. One could perhaps, if one squinted, excuse some of the MAGA support for the military (if one watches FOX and doesn’t realize Trump shits on the military unless they’re conquering heroes), or a desire to make “everyone else pay their way” with NATO (if one doesn’t look at what the results are), and so on and so forth. But the fact that her parents take the default racist assumptions to heart, and lack sympathy for those suffering hurts her dearly.

But she’s an only child, and they’re in their late 70s… she feels a strong sense of obligation to be there for them, and there’s plenty of love. But at least once a month they casually repeat some lie they heard on Fox (we live in the same town) that makes her loose her mind.

3

I wouldn’t say I’ve completely fallen out with my mother, but my relationship with my mother is strained. Growing up, she was what I’d call apolitical in the sense that she thought all politicians were liars and crooks, but over the years she fell down the internet/Fox news conspiracy hole and she’s full on MAGA now. She still claims to be an independent, but she’s an independent who hates Democrats and spouts MAGA talking points. Sometime during Trumps first administration I remember her telling me, “He’s never done or said anything I thought was embarrassing.”

I about lost it when she started repeating Russian talking points in regards to the Ukraine. “The US was funding biological warfare labs in Ukraine,” or “We promised them NATO wouldn’t expand!” were my two favorite ones. With her pro-Russian anti-NATO attitude, I couldn’t help but think she was shitting all over my dad’s career (retired Army) and it really pissed me off. She complained to my sister because whenever she tried talking to me with her pro-MAGA baloney I’d explain why she was wrong.

We rarely talk politics these days. I visit her every week, but I avoid talking to her about anything serious or substantial because I don’t trust her judgement. I don’t respect her. I know she’s lost some friends over her political beliefs.

4

Thanks, guys, and any future responses. I’d managed not to let politics get between me and my peeps, and really did a good job up until I moved back home (state, not his home). When we had our little “scene”, IIRC he brought up a loaded category. We’d already said “no politics”. But, I fell for it. (if he tried to pull his shit in writing, on this board, he’d be eviscerated). We didn’t get too far: it started with me expressing my horror at the immigrant hunting and before I could continue, I got the "so, you’re ok with law breaking? x 3
Just obnoxious, theatrical and gross.

Do most peeps put a temporary patch on it and hope it holds out through the next family
gettogether?

5

In Trump’s first term, I lost my best work friend to Scott Adams’ lunacy. He was constantly sending me articles that I just had to read to understand Trump. He went all the way down the rabbit hole. Things cooled to the point where we just didn’t speak anymore. I retired early in 2020 so I don’t know if he ever came to his senses. I doubt it.

My brother and sister-in-law are big Trump fans. In the first term, there were many arguments when we were all visiting at my mother’s house. Their daughter is liberal like me and my brother liked to pick on her about it so of course I had to defend her even though I hated arguing about it. It was so pointless. My mother died in early 2020 so even though my brother lives here, we stopped seeing each other in person because of covid. I’ve seen him once in the last 4 1/2 years, when my sister came to town a couple months ago. I send him texts on his birthday and occasionally for other reasons but I just don’t want to be around him or his wife. My niece says they don’t talk politics at all anymore. I’m glad that works for them because I hated seeing her so unhappy.

6

For family, especially if one member is dependent upon the other (emotionally, financially, what have you) I think there’s commonly the “Politics are verboten” rule, combined with much quiet seething. Or at least, I think that’s the most successful option when it comes to keeping the peace.

I think part of the problem with this “answer” is that it frays a LOT in longer exposure, or if alcohol or other de-inhibitor is involved. For big family gatherings with my in-laws, there are certain… clumps… of people I will hang out with and others I try to casually avoid.

A common complaint among my friends and family is that family members, who feel in a position of dominance (again economic, social, or emotional), DON’T respect that piece. Or they use the above dependency to try to forcibly push their attitude forward - if you’re dependent upon your parents/kids for income / inheritance / a place to live then they push much harder because they assume you just have to take it.

Bullying seems a common MAGA trait.

And far, FAR too many in my opinion treat it like certain religious sects (a comparison many of us have made and will make again) in that they’re self-righteously saving you, in the most condescending manner.

Such as the unspeakable “gotcha” that @WOOKINPANUBv.2 mentioned from their peeps. To which I would have looked said peep in the eye and say “Sure, just like I would have protected a slave from being tortured by someone who was legally their owner prior to the civil war.”

7

My parents were always conservative-Republican (the Bob Dole/John McCain old-school type) but my mother went full-on conspiracy/survivalist MAGA starting from about the time of the 2020 pandemic. Ironically, she had been a diehard Trump opponent in 2016 and would even try to persuade strangers in grocery stores to vote against him. Something flipped in her.

My father has very slowly drifted in that direction too, but is still pretty reasonable for now. Indeed, he tells other people that he’s a bit bewildered by the direction my mother has taken. I don’t have much issue being around him.

I haven’t cut my mother off completely but I try to reduce contact with her more and more. My sister had planned to go no-contact with her but decided not to. To a certain extent, we’d always disliked my mother but not enough to be able to truly fall out, especially because she oscillates unpredictably between being good and bad.

I haven’t cut off any friends or relatives.

8

I posted this the other day:

What I did not mention there was that this was on a second or third date with a promising-seeming woman my age and general SES.

We did promptly drop all mention of politics. At my insistence. And so far that hasn’t resurfaced, but it definitely altered my perception of the range of possible end-states of our budding relationship.

So call it a soft cut-off in that certain futures are almost certainly foreclosed, baring a miracle.

9

My brother is a greedy and entitled racist asshole who gleefully rubbed the Harris election loss in my face with gloating, racist texts. I haven’t cut-off all contact with him, but we are in the “estranged” category. Politics is just one of several factors that have driven us apart, not the only one.

Anyway, he is a recipient of SSI for many years due to a mental disability preventing him from having a normal job and income. He loves the crackdown on immigrants, ironically stating how they are taking advantage of “freebies.” I am not sure if he’s aware that his part of Social Security is now under scrutiny for cuts and he’ll likely have to justify more often why he needs SSI and can’t get a job. He may get what he voted for, good and hard.

10

I want nothing to do with those people, and that includes people who were previously considered friends or friendly acquaintances.

11

I have severed ties with my sister and my wife’s MAGA uncles. Also, if I find out someone is a Trump voter, I say to them “please don’t speak to me again,” and I mean it.

My brother asked if I will ever see my sister again and I told him I assumed we’d talk when one of us is dying of cancer. She’s sent me some cards on birthdays, etc, but I throw them out unopened.

12

Not this one, but the last one. I’ve got a cousin, who I never really talked politics or anything substantial with, and who I really liked. But she turned out to have been full MAGA, QAnon conspiracy theorist, the whole enchilada.

I don’t know where her husband is on all this; I honestly haven’t tried to find out; I have always respected and liked him a lot, and would be really sad to hear he’s right there with her. He’s always someone who seemed eminently sensible, and all that nonsense seems out of line with what he’d think.

Otherwise, no. There are other non-family people I know who voted for Trump, but being in fairly close contact with them, I feel it’s more that they don’t/can’t conceive of him as an existential threat to democracy, and thus voted for him out of economic reasoning and a sort of dislike for the more progressive aspects of the Biden administration. Not hateful, mind you, but more of a “role of government” sort of disagreement. These folks I cut a lot of slack; their ignorance is dismaying, but their hearts are in the right place.

13

My brother in law, a perfect example of “I hate Obamacare” balanced with the fact he only.has health coverage due to the ACA. He’s a WRNJ that believes all the MAGA lies and how everything is “their” fault.

My wife and I have decided that, should BILs wife call and announce he has died (he has health issues and has been “weeks from death” for years now) we’re going to hang up. Fuck him.

14

Not “this administration”, as in the 2025 term, but my sister and her family cut off all ties due to the MAGA cult.

15

Tricky…I’m in Canada so there’s a (shrinkingly small) buffer between me and the craziness.

I have a wing of the family that lives in the states, 75% of whom have been lifelong republicans. My eldest cousin was pretty hardcore but mercifully, the first coming of Trump snapped him out of it. As a 25+ year military guy, still in uniform, he was appalled at TFG’s denigration of the armed forces, not to mention his fellating of Putin, and voted Democrat the last two elections. His parents on the other hand, both refused to get vaccinated because it was obviously a liberal plot. My aunt died on a ventilator in early 2022. Suicide by Fox news, I called it. My uncle, who would quite literally froth at the mouth with rage if you brought up Obama, was devastated, but as far as I know still voted Orange this past fall. I haven’t seen him in person since 2012, so it’s kind of a non-issue, and he does have my sympathy for his loss.

On the other hand, I did do a purge of several FB friends during the trucker convoy around the same time, because they were filling my feed with nonsense conspiracy nuttery. I blocked someone who had previously seemed quite normal, but who had moved seven hours away from her house to Ottawa, so that she could stand on a frozen street corner in February and hold up a “Fuck Trudeau” sign all day. As the convoy was getting encouragement and possibly funding from down south, plus the truckers’ demands included the PM resigning (as we’d just had an election, there was more than a whiff of J6 about it), I’d call this MAGA-adjacent.

16

I do not know anyone whom I would describe as strong MAGA. For example, no one I associate with wears a MAGA hat or pro-Trump gear.

I do have a few friends/family whom I know (or suspect) voted for Trump. A couple of guys I golf and play music with, a sister and BIL, and one nephew. None of them loudly proclaim their support for Trump. With them, my approach has been to continue to golf/play music/attend family gatherings with them. But I kinda keep my antennae up. None of these relationships are of the sort which would merit anything other than, “I completely disagree with everything you say, and would prefer not to discuss.” Fortunately, they have not gotten even to that point yet.

FWIW, I’ve pretty much been trying to limit discussing current events even with like-mnded (sane) folk, as I feel it does not provide me any relief, and instead, encourages me to perseverate on things I can do nothing about.

17

If only loss of contact with my sister and brother-in-law was due to political beliefs. They’re at least as repulsed by Trump and Trumplicans as I am.

But my brother-in-law is a Grade A, certified asshole ™. You can potentially grow out of stupid MAGAtudes, but a raging asshole ™ is bound to be one for life.

18

I don’t have any hard-core MAGA friends or relatives that I know about.

I have very few friends left in the States and my closest one is Republican but dislikes Trump. We don’t discuss politics so I don’t know who is voted for.

My mother is a Ted Cruz conservative and lives in Georgia. We agree to disagree on politics and never discuss it.

I work with an American who went off on immigration once and I told him I will not have that discussion with him. He’s been good at not talking about it.

When I was in Taiwan, there was a Canadian who was a conspiracy theorist (flat earth, Q, et al) and I simply never talked to him.

And fortunately, my sister divorced the idiot who couldn’t have a conversation without dragging politics into it. I’m sure he’s MAGA, but I don’t have to deal with him anymore.

19

I lost my two best friends to MAGA. They are a couple I’ve been extremely close with since high school. We talked every day online. He never really said anything political or racist to me, like @snowthx’s brother. But I’d see him comment on other people’s FB posts, or make his own posts, and he was clearly down the rabbit hole. I wasn’t sure if his wife was fully on board but I went to their house and there was a Gadsden flag in their yard so now I know what’s up.

We still get together 3x per year to do some traditions we’ve been doing since the 90s. We don’t talk politics, we just talk about the stuff at hand and catch up on mundane life stuff. But we don’t really communicate outside of that.

Every time I see him post something nasty or pro-Trump on Facebook, it’s like a knife to my heart. Why don’t I block him on Facebook? Well, he’ll notice and then we’ll have to actually talk about why I think him and his wife are terrible people.

Closer to home is my mom. I am her caretaker since dad died. She tries to engage a bit with me on politics but also keeps her cards close to her chest. My brother and I are pretty sure she’s fully MAGA. I was fixing her email last night and I found an email she sent to the local talk radio station telling them that she thinks Bishop Budde should have her church’s tax exempt status revoked. I am still kind of reeling from that revelation. I can’t not help her and I also can’t talk about it with her because she gets SO defensive. So I just angrily take care of her every day.

Speaking of Dad I am honestly relieved he died in 2023. (Wow, on this day in 2023, actually) He was way more outwardly MAGA and would rile me up to the point of raising my voice. I remember the last day he was at home before he died. He’d fell and hit his head and I was trying to assess whether he was lucid or not. I asked him who the president is. “Fucking Joe Biden.” Ok. He left in an ambulance and never came home.

I have decided with my friends and my mom to give them grace and just think that they are the dumbest dumb people ever and they have been sucked in by King Dumb and DumbTV and they are too dumb to get out of it. I swallow my feelings and get on with my life.

Thankfully everyone else close to me is as blue as the bluest sky.

20

I have a cousin that went around the MAGA bend and then some. When I visited him over the years he was going on and on about all the latest right wing inane CT stuff. I tried to nudge him gently towards how to look up those CTs and learn that they are completely false but he just got worse.

I haven’t seen him in a while but even his family stopped interacting with several years back and those are fairly conservative folk. When I talk to his siblings I don’t even bother asking how he’s doing. I doubt I will ever have any contact with him again.