My family has always been racist, “Christian”, and Republican. But it was low-key, a person could still interact with them without discovering any of those things. Then Trump came along. Obviously a match made in hell.
I went on a trip with my mother and brother shortly after the insurrection. We stayed off the hot topics until nearly the end, but then we got into it, and I’ve been angry with them ever since. We still function, more or less, but there’s a deep divide we’re all aware of.
I had to stay at their house for a couple weeks last summer to help care for my grandmother, and it was Fox News at top volume all day long. I think they’ve given me up as a lost cause, but they do still try to convert my daughter. I’m shocked at the things she tells me. For instance, she mentioned to my aunt that we cried at the election results, and my aunt said, “Proves that Democrats are pussies!” And this particular aunt has been one of my favorite people all my life. Anyone would tell you how kind and wonderful she is, so I cannot even imagine her saying this. Maybe as a joke? At any rate, I’ll never ask her about it.
I’m constantly tempted to talk to my mom about politics, because I remember her as being a decent and reasonable person. But the sad fact is, she’s not anymore.
Yes! I know just how you feel.
Thankfully I haven’t fallen out with anyone close over politics or even worldview in general in a long time. I did unfriend someone on Facebook during the first Trump administration but they were only almost a friend who i’d hang out with when we were at the same place but rarely make plans to do things together, and it turns out that with the impunity of sitting behind a keyboard he turned into a right wing troll.
I’d think that I would have fallen out with more relatives over Trump, because between them, they have all the individual characteristics of the average right winger, but not all of them embody all of them at once. So for instance the ones that are religious zealots aren’t casual racists, etc. Statistically, I’m sure a lot of them voted for Trump because half the voting country did, but they don’t always talk about how great he is, but neither do they criticize him often, (only rarely).
Many of these stories have been very sad. For the most part, we have been rather fortunate. My wife’s younger brother is fulI-on MAGA. Years of driving a truck and listening to Rush Limbaugh poisoned his mind beyond reason. But he and his wife live nearby, and he’s my wife’s only remaining sibling, and we can’t just cut them off. So we have an unspoken rule: When we do get together to have lunch with them, politics and social issues are off the table. We all respect that. It should be possible to visit people for a couple of hours and talk about things other than politics. Obviously, there are people who can’t do that, as a lot of these comments show.
As for friends, I did cut off a friend of 50 years for saying, in my presence, “The only good Democrat is a dead Democrat!” I told him, much to his surprise, that I am a Democrat and if that is how he actually feels, that I could not continue associating with someone who openly wished for my death. That’s the last we ever spoke. He was a nutcase anyway. I could be friends and accept his eccentricities until he brought that into the mix. I don’t miss him.
I have unfriended (or unfollowed) Facebook friends over caustic political remarks, but I have a certain level of tolerance for people of differing views. One or two comments I’ll allow, but if it escalates to “dead Democrat” level, you’re gone. I unfriended two nieces for that reason.
My wife is a Republican. My entire extended family is MAGA. All of my coworkers are MAGA. All of my neighbors are MAGA.
If I were to sever relationships with everyone I know who is MAGA, I would be an unemployed recluse. I just tolerate it, and refrain from discussing politics.
The vast majority of my friends are liberals. One of my closest friends I got into it with last night over a single issue. I imagine in the next couple of days we will make up but maybe not. We do touch on politics here and there, but we seldom argue it out. One issue I can’t stay silent on is the insurrection. I insist it was a riot and that 3 years was plenty of punishment. I also felt the trial was a sham. And I would say the same thing if the offenders were democrats.
As a result if this thread, I looked up on FB a guy that used to be practically my best friend. Went to college together, visited each other for years. Seemed “normal”.
Then about 20 years ago he became nouveau riche and no longer had the time for us poor dirt farmers who don’t make high 6 figures, or own million dollars houses. On FB he’s obviously gone deep down the MAGA rabbit hole. Fuck him.
I find it extra funny that he married a “furriner” with dark skin, and had a probably illegal-immigrant live in nanny. Rules for thee and not for mee.
I find it very hard to be pleasant to my wife’s niece, who is a Trump supporter. I wonder how she’ll feel when he comes for her (she’s an airline pilot) as a DEI hire. She’s not; she worked hard for years to rise to that level.
Some got a lot less than that, a few got more. I think hitting a cop while breaking into a government building to stop the counting of votes for the next president is a pretty serious “riot.”
Wow. On the other hand, I don’t know a single person who is MAGA, never saw a MAGA hat in real life, and don’t have to deal with this issue. Except, my 91 year old mother in law, who is not full on MAGA, but pretty close. She’s a terrible person in other ways too, but my wife won’t cut her off. They used to argue about politics, but now they both are careful to ignore that and talk about the grandchildren
One of my dad’s brothers, whom I had always admired, sent me a private FB message back in Jan/Feb 2017, saying something to the effect that my hatred for Trump is really out of character for me and for the family, and he’s very disappointed in me. He said that as a veteran, he could no longer consider me family due to my hatred of Trump. See ya, Uncle Chuck. FWIW, I saw him at my father’s funeral back in 2022/23/whenever, and he was cordial and polite to me.
A cousin (the son of another of Dad’s brothers) has unfriended me on FB for similar reasons. And another cousin (the son of another of Dad’s brothers) still comments on some of the stuff I post on FB that’s not about Trump or politics, and he’s polite and cordial. On about one in 20 of my anti-Trump posts he’ll comment the Trump talking points.
My brother follows my mother’s orders of no talking about politics, ever, because she’s sick of his pro-Trumpishness. I’ve considered cutting him off simply on the basis of how he voted (clearly our values don’t align), but it would kill my mother. That, and like I said, he just doesn’t talk about it.
I’ve lost two friends, one being a guy from college and another a guy I got to know from when we lived in the same city years ago. By the time I lost them, they were both basically just Facebook friends. With college friend (J), his Trumpery was just the final straw. The lack of alignment in our values had been apparent long before 2016. With my town friend, (N), he is strictly a wallet voter, and will only vote for whomever he thinks will improve his bottom line. Regardless of his reasons, if he’s going to vote for that jackass, then clearly our values don’t align. See ya, N and J.
My days of arguing with Trumpers have come to an end. Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon: you may win, but your opponent is just going to knock over the pieces and shit on the board like he won.
I guess I’m lucky, in that I have no close family or friends who are Trumpers. A few more distant people that I suspect, but I hardly ever talk to them anyway.
Practically speaking, MAGA is too numerous and mainstream to completely separate from. When MAGA collapses, and it will collapse, we’re still going to have to live with those people. I’ve seen articles about families becoming estranged over politics with parents and children cutting one another out of their lives, but the consensus among professionals seemed to be that this was harmful for everyone.
Yep. When I let it be known that I’m a Trump supporter in 2016, three of my college friends that I remained facebook friends with cut all ties with me. My in-person friends that are staunchly democrat just don’t really care - We just don’t discuss politics. We do, however, critically debate Supernatural, Star Trek, and Dr. Who. 
My family lives by “La famiglia é tutto.” We don’t cut off other family members, no matter what. All of my US cousins are diehard Trump supporters and Fox News devotees. I don’t live near any of them, but I had a few screaming matches with them on the phone. They’ve wisely decided not to bring up politics with me. However, I spend a lot of time arguing with them in my head.
I know full-on MAGA supporters. Those who wore MAGA gear stopped in the first Trump term because word got around that liberals would attack them. I would not make wearing MAGA gear the determinant of whether or not someone is strongly MAGA .
Fair. Probably many more false negatives than false positives.
Give 'em Hell!!
FYI, this thread is almost a carbon copy of the recent I think I’m done with Thanksgiving thread.
Unless the person’s beliefs are truly abhorrent or evil (e.g. white supremacy), I think it’s harmful & counterproductive to sever relationships based on politics. Our children are very liberal, and I am not; I disagree with them on many issues. Should I cut ties with them? Of course not. The same goes for MAGA folks.
It’s when their values all completely flip 180 which really makes you wonder about how these people’s minds operate. [said the following in bits and pieces here before] Met a new girlfriend in 1993, along with her best male friend and we quickly became thick as thieves, both were super-liberal, hardcore environmentalists, she a pagan he an atheist. I had checked out a book on Christianity at some point for a class I was taking; he took one look at it, then looked at me like I was completely crazy.
I left the state to go to graduate school in 1996; when I came back in 2000, he had somehow become a full racist and sexist Christian fundie Dittohead. We became roomies a couple of times despite that, had some fun times but also some bitter discussions on occasion and eventually decided to go our separate ways for our individual good. I had a chance to reconnect with him during a visit back to the old place last year but knew who he had and was going to vote for and said the hell with it.
I found out from said ex-g.f. a few years ago that the car crash that killed his own g.f. involved a drunk Muslim man, along with a subsequent near-death epiphany (said his dead g.f. came to him when he had a chambered handgun in his hand ready to do the deed). I had my own epiphany a decade earlier but it didn’t turn me into a total mindless asshole, nor did a single data point from one aberrant person cause my entire value system to completely flip.
As many have mentioned over the years here, there is “a difference based on politics” and then there’s “MAGA,” a truly dangerous ideology that could jeopardize everything we love about our country. Being a Trump support in 2025 means someone is a truly terrible person. I know of no exceptions, but I’ll grant that a few might exist.
Of course not. But if someone neither wears such gear NOR espouses MAGA sentiment, I’m not sure what one ought to do to unearth their true beliefs.
I’m not a big phone talker, but I hope I would not engage in screaming matches with relatives either in person or over the phone. If they espoused some pro-Trump shit, I would tell them plainly that I disagreed with them and did not wish to discuss it. If they continued, I might tell them how disappointed I am with them, and hopefully would cut them off. IMO no family ties are strong enough to put up with that sort of ugliness and stupidity. But, fortunately I have not yet been in that position.
The couple of friends/relatives I suspect - should they bring anything up, I expect to shut them down quickly and, if that doesn’t work, stop seeing them.
I don’t know what you mean by your kids being “very liberal” and you “not.” But you are getting close to both-siderism. Your kids would pretty much have to be rioting anarchists for their “liberal” views to come close supporting a President who seems bent on dismantling our system of government and hurting so many people. And doing it in such a cavalier, disinterested, almost casual manner.
Do your “not liberal” views include support for Trump (or specific of his actions?)
FYI, as the OP of this thread, I beg to differ.