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“You think I’m an herbivore? Go ahead, try me.”
What happened after Dracula fed on Bambi
The infamous saber-toothed jackalope.
Universal Studios presents Wild Kingdom
And no one ever saw Thumper again…
You’re up @Kent_Clark
As long as we’re looking at sharp things
Fail! A left-handed bacon stretcher is thoughtlessly not included.
"Thanks for the nice Christmas gift, Mom and Dad, but I really wanted the one with four bottle openers. This one only has three.
Conversely, the Swiss Navy knife has no blades.
Why going on a bivouac with the Swiss Army might not be the rugged adventure you were expecting.
Far less successful than it’s famous pocket knife was the Swiss Army’s all-in-one surgical tool, with scalpel, forceps, retractor, clamp, bone saw, cranium drill, suturing tool, lance, and intravenous line inserter.
Gordon Ramsay: “Now, all you need is this Swiss Army Knife, and you too can prepare a delicious meal of French onion soup, a lamb roast with mint sauce, scalloped potatoes and green beans, and assorted cheeses. No need to dig around in the kitchen cutlery drawer any more, if you have this.”
“What? No pipe cleaners?”
(2005) “the Swiss Army knife for the Dutch West Indies boyfriend.”
…and pushing the white cross for precisely 17 seconds turns it into a hand grenade. Watch out for the shrapnel!
“Official reports indicate that the hiker froze while frantically searching his multiplex knife for the fire-starter tool.”
The Swiss Army changed their purchase agreement to a cost-plus contract.
And the instruction book says that this tool is used for low urine flow. DON"T EVER USE THIS TOOL!
“But I couldn’t find the tweezers”
So many creative uses! I have to award @Lumpy by a hair (or a hair trimming tool) for including a cranium drill in his list of tools.
Go Lumpy!