We even have the machine that goes “Beep!”
We are working to repair the ship’s laundry. In the meantime, the bosun’s pipe will signal when the giant Tide pod is fully dissolved. Then all you guys in white jump in and splash around.
“Finally! One of these darn things didn’t end up on Gilligan’s Island.”
“OK everybody, act like you don’t notice them when they come out.”
“Let’s get this thing back to the studio…and try not to steer us over the edge of the Earth while we’re at it!”
“Make sure ALL the urine has drained out of the capsule before putting it on our deck. That looks disgusting!”
“Oh, I am the captain of the Pinafore…”
“Dunk it in a few more times, we still haven’t gotten all the Army green off.”
Slithy Tove takes it for thinking outside of the (detergent) box.
You’ve seen this image, but what is the actual caption?
“Girl, if you want to stay a size four, stop havin’ me cook pancakes for breakfast”.
Why, Miss Leigh, why would a woke woman like yourself want to be in such a racist, sexist production such as this?
Miss Scarlet, Miss Scarlet, the slaves are revoltin’!
Now Cassie, they may be a little tacky, but they’re not that bad.
Bravo! I’m not even going to try to top that.
Don’t be intimidated @Elmer_J.Fudd. At least go for the easy fart joke 
(ok, I’ll do it.) Now you know damn well, Miss Scarlet, that awful smell didn’t come from me.
or
Yes, Ma’am, Miss Scarlet. But you remember that the twelfth loop has always made you pass gas all night long.
(Not in play, but…)
"Miz Scarlet, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select, I don’t know, that… lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis. It’s actually cerulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent, wasn’t it, who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores, and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs, and it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room, from a pile of “stuff”.
Human bondage means different things to different people.
All good responses but @Elmer_J.Fudd has the most sting (with extra credit for the GWTW/Leslie Howard/Of Human Bondage nexus)
Attack of the Pulp Covers