There once was a schoolmarm named Catty
Who hated the kids that were bratty.
The students were scared
Whenever she flared,
And took cover if their mistress got ratty.
Mice and kittens should never share an educational environment.
In Cattyland, everybody has no choice but to kick the cat.
(I had to fix that.)
Just say it in the voice of Yakov Smirnoff.
I was flip-flopping, and decided to give SECOND place to
And the winner…
Spoons, you’re up!
Thanks, Dr. Winston O’Boogie! That one was fun.
Okay, let’s see what you folks can make of this:
"Psst…How much for the little cat?
“Concerned that Mockingjay - Part 2 wasn’t going to end well for her, Prim Everdeen tried to open negotiations to be featured in a reboot of the JAWS franchise.”
Say, kid, you didn’t happen to see any tuna fish swimmin’ around here, didja?
“I rescued her from Miss Catty at the General Catty School for Disobedient Cats. How’s your school been treating you?”
“OK, cat. Hand over the girl or the boat gets it.”
Spielberg Presents: Jaws and Paws, Duel In The Ocean.
“Thank you for your calloused heart, Darla. If you hadn’t flushed me down the toilet, I wouldn’t have turned into the shark I am today.”
“Tomorrow night we’ll be back with the happy ending to Moby Dick.”
“And tell Will Smith if he does any fish voices again, I’ll hunt him and his crew down and I’ll gobble them up like a bunch of anchovies. Can you remember all that or do I have to write it down for you?”
“This isn’t Pismo Beach! I must have made a wrong turn in Albuquerque.”
“…and sometimes I feel really down because humans think I have a tiny brain, but they don’t know the real me.”
“No, listen. I don’t know who told you we are the wolves of the sea, but we don’t howl at the moon. Period.”
“But you vowed you could help me turn into a mermaid under the full moon if I bequeath Tiger to you.”
“Yeah, but when you said ‘tiger’ I expected something else.”
“Your dad’s a lawyer? I won’t eat you then. Professional courtesy.”