Lots of good bathroom-related entries, but the anthology-based one kinda spoke to me.
You’re up, @Slithy_Tove!
Thanks. I almost kept my yap shut.
Now cave canum:
“And here I thought ‘being in the doghouse’ was a figure of speech.”
“Beware of Doug”
This what they do to you in Paris if you request the gluten free menu.
The Emperor always keeps a spare barbarian on hand, just in case.
I bloomin’ told ‘em I don’t like spring onions! You just can’t get the staff these days…sniff….
I hate being chained up outside while Mom does her grocery shopping.
“And the bread is stale!”
His boss hadn’t technically lied at the job interview: Alex was outdoors and not ‘chained to a desk all day’.
“Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them” my ass. Your flesh tastes like ass. But noooooo. Bring it up during service and they chain you up until you finish the bloody wafer.
All good but @Ferris wins this one
Gaius Crustus — The Croissant Incident.
Incarcerated for baking a pastry deemed “too French,” centuries before France existed.
ETA: too late. My bad.
Feel like Jonah in the belly of the whale
Medieval Ubers weren’t so sophisticated.
“Here’s your wretched refuse from a teeming shore back. And don’t let me catch you swimming in my river again.”
“Oh, dear. A giant otter is sucking my legs. Hold my hands, I’m really stressed.”
Biblical scholars now consider the tale of Jesus being baptized in the Loch Ness to be apocryphal.
I ordered boneless! Take it back!