Bill and Hillary were upstairs at the White House getting ready for a Halloween ball. Hillary was in the bathroom getting ready, and when she emerged Bill was shocked:
She was completely naked save for a lemon dangling over her crotch.
“Hillary!” cried Bill. “You can’t go downstairs dressed like that!”
“I can and I will,” she replied.
“But you’re the First Lady! What will people say?”
“Give it a rest, Bubba,” she replied placidly. “This is my costume.”
Bill shrugged, and went in to the bathroom himself.
When he emerged, Hillary actually screamed. He was completely nude except for the potato he had strategically placed over his privates.
“William Jefferson Clinton! You can’t really be planning on going to the party like that.”
“I am.”
“But you’re the President of the United States! The leader of the free world!” Hillary was frantic. “What will people say?”
“Look, Hillary. If you can go to the party as a sourpuss, then I can go as a dick-tater.”
On Halloween, a little boy dressed as a pirate rings a doorbell. The homeowner sees him standing there, dressed as a pirate, all by himself, and decides to have a little fun with him. So he says, “Hey, you look like a pirate… but where are your buccaneers?”. Little boy says, “Under my buccan’ hat!”
Glad to hear I’m not the only one who thought the buccaneers joke was hilarious. I look forward to Halloween every year just so I can tell it. It typically gets presented on November 1 as a rather lengthy “true” story of what happened to me the night before.
A guy was throwing a Halloween party. He opened the door and saw a guy standing there dressed in a pair of boxer-shorts and nothing else. He asks “What did you come as?”
The other one responds “I’m a premature ejaculation: I came in my pants.”
I’ve got another one but I can’t remember the second part to it…
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets
landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who watched the whole incident walked up and asked, “What the heck is going on?” The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost”.
