A haunted TV in the MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Speaking of possessed TVs, I had a near Steven King moment yesterday.

I attended my aunt Jo’s funeral in the western NC mountains. It was a beautiful day, mid 60’s, and everything went fine, until the burial.

A few weeks earlier, that area of the country had been immersed in snow, then rains came and washed the white stuff away, but precipitation largely continued, leaving the ground saturated. I rode in the limo with the rest of the family, and when we got there, the platform was ready for us to load the coffin on top. We did so, and sat in the folding chairs the cemetery provided. If it weren’t for the carpet they laid under the chairs, I would have sunk into the ground.

The minister gave a few readings, and as she did so, I could hear “crack crack crack” noises beside her. Right as she was finishing, the corner of the platform next to her collapsed, and the coffin fell. Luckily, only the corner next to the minister hit the ground. The minister grabbed the corner with one hand while holding her bible with the other. The funeral directors came running up to stabilize the coffin, and the minister hurriedly added “OK, service over!” The funeral people looked aghast, and I asked “Need any help?” Jo’s daughter added “We got pallbearers right here!” At least the coffin didn’t flop open and throw my aunt’s body out.

Nobody in the family was really upset. It was obviously an accident, and it could have been far worse. The funeral directors were deathly embarrassed, and held on the coffin while the cemetery workers drove an excavator up. We took the limo back while they tidied up. On the way back, I remarked how Jo had always been careful in life and didn’t have any physical mishaps that I could remember. Bad luck finally caught up with her.

22

Okay, I just cleaned the kitchen from Kayla’s dinner preparation last night, and sat down in front of FB to see what’s what. My niece had just posted the following about her two sons, ages (approx. 6 y.o. and 3 y.o.):

I guess stopping at one kid wasn’t the dumbest thing kaylasmom and I ever did.

23

Can’t be the WORST thing possible. It’s not screwing with your ability to post to the Dope…

24

Reminds me of the time when the OW and I were riding my Gramma Rose somewhere and talking; she was in the back seat as she preferred. I forget just what we were talking about or the OW asked me but I replied “Oh — that was the Crummie neighbors” when I suddenly felt this massive WACK across the back of my head.

I glanced in the mirror and asked Gramma what was wrong and she said “That’s no way to talk about your neighbors! I’m sure they are good people!”

“But Gramma ----- that’s their name. C-R-U-M-M-I-E!”
:smiley:

25

No haunting of electronics in my place; the times my alarm has gone off is when I set it wrong and my tv goes on and off when I press the buttons (sometimes inadvertently, I admit).

FCM, Maybe it’s the plumbing? In which case, be careful: Schlock Mercenary - Friday 20 Apr 2001 (side note: “Schlock Mercenary” is my all time favorite on-line comic)

KO, your story is somewhere between appalling and uproarious. Thank you for sharing.

Slept in to 7:30 this morning and have been out and about. It’s N.O.S. and 2/3 beast outside (66F) so might even take a walk this afternoon. Or not…

26

You RODE your gramma around? :eek: You’re lucky she didn’t buck you off into the ditch. Woulda served you right too!

Our previous living room TV used to turn itself off occasionally, but would usually turn itself back on if I wiggled the power cord where it went into the back of the TV. I thought about taking it apart and re-soldering all the connections in there, but we ended up buying a new UHD TV instead.

My iphone, on the other hand, IS haunted. One time I was sitting on the couch and had set my phone down on the coffee table in front of me about 20 min. earlier, when I heard a little voice saying “Hello?” My phone had dialed someone completely on it’s own. From the home screen. Another time it sent Wifey the message “I am scared.” while in my pocket. :eek:

I think it has a whole 'nother life away from me.

27

:smiley:

No, his lack of ability to post to the Dope would hardly be the worst thing possible. Wait, was that in my out-loud [del]voice[/del] type? :o

I have a f[del]r[/del]iend whose ringtone is this little kid voice, “Let me out of your pocket!” :smiley:

28

I used to have a bumper sticker that said ‘333 - I’m only half evil’.

Ruble - my TV was an old one too, although not that old. I did have to get up and walk across the room to change the channel. I’m pretty sure it was a color set, I still had an old black and white set in the bedroom at that house.

Anyway, it wasn’t the TV there, it was the house. Lots of weird stuff in that house. One day I was talking to the woman who moved in after I moved out and asked her if she ever noticed anything strange about the house. I can still remember the look of relief on her face. She said she thought she was going crazy. I knew the feeling. We started comparing notes and had had many of the same experiences.

Years ago (in the 70s early 80s) one of my co-workers got involved with some weird church. She’d bring in tapes of the sermons for me to listen to and I remember in one of them the preacher said that all rock musicians sold their souls to the devil and that all their albums came with a demon attached to them to make people like the music. Essentially, if you brought the album into your home, you were bringing in a demon with it. I remember two of the musicians he named were Elton John, and I believe it was the Carpenters, if not the Carpenters, then somebody else in that genre. I thought wow, if the preacher thinks they are bad, wait until he hears about Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath, and Led Zeppelin. Anyway, my co-worker wasn’t too amused when I said I guess I had about 40 demons attached to the albums in my closet.

If it’s true I have way more than 40 by now. However, since they don’t eat much, don’t shed, don’t shit in the house, and don’t keep me up at night, I’m not sure why it’s a problem.
Better than bats, and mice, and squirrels.

I’ve heard that offerings of chocolate/milk/alcohol can appease demons, so perhaps you should lay out something for them when you go to bed tonight FCM. Well, maybe not alcohol, if they are obnoxious when sober, they’ll probably even more so when drunk.

Hope your puter gets fixed soon Swampy.

29

To give the Devil his due, 2/3 of 666 is 444.

30

I agree it’s those demons. Call a priest and have it exorcised. Be sure and film it.This sounds like something that would happen at my house. Stoopit crap happens!

31

What, the Priest is going to make it run laps?

32

Not exercised, EXORCISED. Am i spelling it wrong? :slight_smile:

33

Get out & go running?

34

No, you are not.

35

I dunno, it’d get rid of me if someone tried that.

Parcel finally arrived, tiny plants inspected and poked at. Skool starts back up on Wednesday, so tomorrow’s the very last day of Christmas for me.

36

Well, yeah.

I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

37

xmas stuff exorcised from the house sat on hold for 90 minutes and didn’t talk to health insurance people will have to try later ,and the whole side of my face hurts from either an ear or tooth infection…since im in between doctors just might find an urgent care since im still covered until the 28th , or get pliers and a drill and DIY it ……
will keep yall informed ….

38

It would also hopefully help stop all that irritating unhealthy groaning and stuff. Or make it worse. Could go either way.

Though being haunted by an obnoxious health demon would be the absolute worst. Like an immortal gym teacher that can see through walls and things. ‘Too hot to exercise, hey? Well, let me tell you what too hot to run looks like…’

39

You spelled it fine - just ignore flytrap!

Frankly, I don’t much like this particular TV anyway, so I may break down and buy another. It’s not like they’re expensive… I see lots listed for under $100. But it’s not urgent. Worst case, I’ll unplug the damned thing. Except I like to turn it on before I get up to hear the weather and find out if the grand high Cheeto has been abducted by aliens yet.

Supper was tuna steak, cauliflower, and peas-n-carrots. We’ll have peach crisp later. And it’s back to work tomorrow. I need the rest after a day of Roxy! :smiley:

40

Oh, I get it now. Sometimes it takes me a minute.:slight_smile:
ETA don’t feel bad, I go through life with rose colored glasses.