A (M)ad Lib MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
121

[QUOTE=Mahna Mahna]
No self-respecting brownie should have anything less than 1 stick of butter. So sez me. My MIL makes low-fat “brownies” using prunes, which I must admit are rather tasty in their own right, but they’re still just chocolatey prune squares masquerading as brownies.

I have everything I need to make taxi’s patented brownies in the pantry. Huzzah. Guess what I’m doing as soon as I get home? :slight_smile:

[/QUOTE]

Prunes? :eek:

I liked taxi’s brownies, but next time I’m using Gharadelli’s semi-sweet chips. I like 'em real sweet.

122

Here’s my shot at the mad lib, with much help from pprGrandma (who came up with Shiny Girl and Woeful Baby all on her own):

Once upon a time, there lived on the Dope a Shiny Girl, who called themselves Woeful Baby. This name was lugubrious and fit her to a T. Sometimes she skated and flew. At other times, she do-si-doed! It made life complicated for all the other MMPers.

One day, Woeful Baby went too far and actually cried, dreamed and awkwardly killed. This got the mod’s accordion damp and made all the MMPers turbo wicked. The other MMPers were panting. They decided to run. They set up the ocelot and had everyone dog-paddle. This caused violent death amongst the other Dopers. They all exclaimed about the garage of the foot in the MMP. The MMP became miserly throughout the interweb. The MMPers were nonplussed and just went about their business. Their cane here was done!

When I told my grandmother yesterday that I was going to the beach, she got a little down, in that cheerful, “don’t mind me! You Kids go have fun!” way of hers. She can’t walk very well any more, and she finds it damn near impossible to walk on sand so she hasn’t been to the beach in a very long time. So my father and I decided to take her on the ferry out to Caladesi Island, thinking that it’d be nice and beachy and hopefully she wouldn’t have to do too much walking. It turned out even better than we expected because the dudes running the ferry told us that that Caladesi has wheelchairs that’re specially designed for beaches, with big fat inflatable wheels, and they helped us nab one for Grandma. So she got to go right down to the water and we hung out on the beach for a few hours. I suspect that she’d long since written off going to the beach as something she’s just not able to do anymore, so the whole day was this lovely, completely unexpected treat for her. And Caladesi is quite close to her house, so there’s no reason she can’t go out there any time she wants.

Anyway. I can have one more cigarette and then I have to get off my ass and get to school.

Preach it, brother/sister (delete whichever is inappropriate)!

123

[Bud Light Ad]Guy in car:Hey buddy, what’s with the axe?
Axe Murderer: Bottle opener.
Guy: Hop in![BLA]

124

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
<snip> IMO, stupidity is determined ignorance <snip>
[/QUOTE]

I LIKE that! Imma gonna use that one soon for sure.

Guess what? The vision specialist at my optometrist BROKE my new glasses. I went to pick them up this morning and there are some issues with the progressive lenses. She was trying to give them a forward tilt and snapped the frames. :rolleyes:

Everybody with Teh Sick…get better.

We are supposed to be taking our intern to lunch. A conference call ran over so we are late to go. Meanwhile, another department is having a catered lunch meeting. It smells really, really good. :stuck_out_tongue:

Guess I’ll go drink a gallon of water.

Tupug

125

So my current job contract ends on Friday. (I got the other job!! I’m all lined up to start on Monday.) This morning, as I was working diligently (read as not hardly surfing the dope at all), my work programs started giving me messages saying that I don’t have authorization to use them. :eek: :eek: I have to get this stuff done this week. I won’t be here next week to do it. So, I don’t know what’s going to happen, my manager is working on it, but the end result is that I can surf the internet, but all of the work sites (benefits, insurance, company policies, as well as the programs I actually need to do my job here) are blocked. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

So, we’ll see what happens next. It’s always an adventure.

Let’s see…what else did I have to say…there was something, I know there was…eh, I can’t remember, maybe later.

126

Baby is having a grumpy day!

On the bright side, my Dad just did the dishes and cleaned the stove. And I’ve got the laundry done.

ETA: I made Mexican lasagna yesterday, and I’m eating it for lunch. I think it might be too spicy for Mr. Lissar. I got a little enthusiastic with the chipotles. It’s very yummy, just hot.

127

[QUOTE=Flutterby]
Yeah my family worries about me online. Even though I’ve gone to several meets that way (Dopefests mainly) had one come to visit me (from Australia! He’s not around much anymore though), met a few guys for dates (none which really worked out) and found one of my favourite hangouts like that (the yarn store).
[/QUOTE]

I met my *husband *online! How bad can it be? And why doesn’t my mother remember that? And that I’ve met various friends and have gone to DopeFests and everything’s been ok?

What does she think is going to happen with my picture on a blog if it doesn’t have a name or address attached anyway? Someone’s going to see the pic and hack the site and draw a mustache on it?? :rolleyes: :stuck_out_tongue:

128

I dunno. Personally I don’t like putting my picture up but that’s because I feel I look fatter than I really am (and recently read an article about how hard it can be to accurately photograph tall girls, the camera will usually add pounds and since I already look like I stepped from a Rubens painting but with better breasts… well that doesn’t work). I do put some up, but not many can be found.

I don’t put my son’s pictures on public areas because I’m paranoid that way (even my knitting journal pictures with him don’t show his face). So I guess I understand the paranoid parent part. :wink:

129

[QUOTE=Always Brings Pie]

Yesterday was a looooong day in which I wanted to cause bodily harm to my dishwasher (person, not an object). He’s always doing a lousy job, but this time was over the top and resulted in me having to redo the dishes that were covered in a greasy film…
[/QUOTE]

I’d have clobbered him long ago and used his hair as a dish scrubber.

Could be worse - you hired him on as a dishwasher, and he theoretically knew this on his first day. At the Dickens Chirstmas Fair, I’m effectively the Chief of Kitchen Police for the tea shop, and have to cope with a random stream of people working off their “free” admission to the fair. I’ve all but given up on trying to explain the three-sink washing system and how the dishes are supposed to soak in that last sink for at least a minute to sanitize. Most of the time it’s “You can shake the tea leaves out of the pots, and I’ll wash!”

I’m just kinda funny about not wanting to compromise on public health.

130

yawn Damn, I am frakkin’ exhausted–stayed up 'til 3AM in the morning farting about with the new 'puter, then was awakened at 0730 by a couple of kids right outside my window talking to my dog. They had to have come all the way down the street and down the neighbor’s driveway to do it because we have no kids living on the street so it was incongruous enough to wake me right up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Moar koffeeee plz!

Nooner, Mahna[sup]2[/sup], I installed a third party app called TweakUAC that turns off ALL the nag prompts so that’s okay. I’ve run into a snag with my XP64 plan, though, because my Wifi chipset is brand spanking new and has NO support for XP64, although it does have drivers for Vista 64. Dammit. I even checked to see if Madwifi had cobbled together some 64 bit drivers for it for Linux but no damned luck. Shit. Well, now I’m thinking of going ahead and throwing Vista 64 bit on here just to see how it goes but I’m really hatin’ on the resource hoggishness and sheer SIZE of Vista–damn, but it really is bloatware! Hell, if it annoys me too much I can always wipe it and start again. If it really annoys me I’ll run Ubuntu with WinBloze on a virtual machine, that’ll fix its little red wagon. Of course I’ll need a terabyte hard drive to hold it all but I guess I have a big enough shoehorn, if not a large enough wallet… :smiley: :smack:

Dammit, I really want brownies now, could you guys just stop talking about it? My tummy is growling and bananas just aren’t making the grade this morning.

Pie, shitcan the lazy little SOB. There’s probably a hard working, conscientious teenager out there who really deserves the job and Mr Lardass is keeping them from working for you willingly and without needing to be bribed to do the job right.

Rigs, I wanna come shop with you and ogle Mr Highpockets Ponytail for a while, he sounds quite yummy. I love tall men, just wanna climb 'em like a monkey up a tree. drools down chin, obliviously

mousie, 'tis a mandate from the Internet Gods that you are supposed to surf the Dope and get paid for it today. Enjoy sans guilt!

Ahem, listen up all you sickies: GET BETTER, DAMMIT!1!!

Y’know, we’re awfully sweetness and light for a buncha axe murderers, just sayin’. Maybe we’re Nerf Axe Murderers! <— Heh, band name!

131

The porch swing and iced tea and a book are calling me. paper tonight, so that tomorrow is guilt free gardening etc. Plus, older kids have half a day tomorrow, so there goes any hope of having the UPS guy on the floor…

So, tomorrow I vacuum instead.

132

Oh, God. Why do I let myself become so worked up over a guy that’s treated me like crap for the past year of my life?

I thought, now that I’m leaving, that we can enjoy the end of our fling and get on with our lives. And he chooses THIS POINT IN TIME to say he wants to be with me.

I have a headache, and at this rate I’m going to smoke my entire pack of cigarettes before evening.

(Deflecting advice in advance - I know you all mean well, but I also know what you’re going to say before you say it. :slight_smile: Hugs would be nice, though. Yes, I’m a selfish bitch.)

133

Then hugs it is. He sounds fucked up–as in confused and afraid. IMO, you have enough to deal with, so I vote for a Poor Baby.

(do y’all know what a Poor Baby* is? It’s where we all gather around hazel, and no matter what she says, no matter how right we think we are, no matter how fucked up her choices are/were, we only spread sympathy. She says she’s miserable and wants him so bad her teeth hurt but can’t have him because of the whole Korean thing? We answer, “poor baby.”)

IMO, Poor Babies would solve a lot of the world’s problems and slash the number of therapists in half.

So, my lovely token Asian friend: “poor baby” (and I do mean it. I am sorry you’re hurting over this). :frowning:

*with thanks to Jennifer Crusie and her wonderful books.

134

See LiLi - you don’t need my Miele. You have something even better… a two-legged dishwasher that cleans your oven! :slight_smile:

{{Haze}} Now please please please, DTMFA. You deserve so much better than the kind of childish wank who only wants what he can’t have (which is precisely why he’s suddenly decided you’re The One at the eleventh hour).

Mousie, I think someone got a little trigger-happy on revoking your employee privileges. Don’t stress - after Friday, it’s not your problem anyways. :slight_smile: (congrats on the new job, BTW! YAY!)

I am having a Heinlein kind of day. Y’know… the kind that goes “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout”, because I just seem to be putting out one fire before running out to deal with the next. Ack.

(an anti-Heinlein kind of day, in case anyone is curious, involves Free N.O.L.)

135

vrooooom driveby

I was going to upload wedding pics last night but …erm… newlywed stuff took over :wink:

Will try later I promise!

vroooooooom

136

{{Haze}} I think going to Korea and getting some distance and perspective and some Mom time will help heal the wounds. They say it’s time that does that, but I usually find that a mom (doesn’t have to be a biological one… it can be someone who’s taken you under their wing and who looks out for you and most importantly makes you comfort foods) helps a lot. And chocolate.

Spaz, I’m going to try that chicken curry recipe tonight. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Now that I’ve said nice Mom things, I also have another Mom complaint. In addition to being worried about my picture being online, she also wants to know who everyone is that was on the email that I sent out about my new blog. They’re just people, Mom. Not ax murderers. People that I wanted to share my blog with. I’m glad she’s interested in my life, but sometimes her questions annoy me. She always wants to know who I’m doing stuff with and where we went and what we did. I know it’s just out of interest, but it feels like I’m a teenager and she’s making sure I’m not going out with the “bad” kids to smoke pot or something. Ugh.

137

Rigs which Cruise book was the “poor baby” from? I thought I had read them all, but I don’t remember that…

(((Haze)))

138

Home. Tired. Three more days till I hit the road. Sketties for supper.

**taxi ** - the reason I didn’t make your brownies is that I only had cocoa powder, no baker’s chocolate. Shame on me. :frowning: After I get back from FL, I’ll work on having a properly stocked pantry.

Speaking of FL, I should probably start gathering together all the crap I need to take with me. I’ve got lists somewhere, and there are things that can go in the van already. I should get in gear.

When talking to my daughter yesterday, I found out one of her friends who very recently got divorced (like within the last few months) has even more recently gotten married again. I can’t decide if I feel sorry for her or if I want to whack her upside the head with a trout. Kids, sheesh! (That goes for you too, Haze. OK, you can have a little {{hug}}…)

One bit of good-ish news - tomorrow in the awards ceremony, I’m getting a Letter of Appreciation for being part of a team that supported a training exercise. Go us! It doesn’t come with money or anything, but it’ll look good on my end-of-year evaluation. So yay. On the other hand, I have to dress professionally for tomorrow - no jeans and sneaks. Boo.

And that’s all I’ve got.

139

Taxi, I wouldn’t suggest telling her that just anyone can stumble upon and read your blog then!

'course I never told my Mom about my LJ or blog either. She wouldn’t undertsand, and she doesn’t even check email. If anyone needs to send her an email she gives them mine and I print it off for her to read, or read it to her and then type a reply with her next to me. (She can check email, she took some of those courses the library gives, but generally she only plays solitaire, unlike her mother who has her own email and has bought plane tickets online. My other Grandma just started to play solitaire on the computer now too.)

140

I’ve been reading along - but I have nothing to add - sorry - I’m actually kinda busy, in a good way, for a change.