Ask the MMP

You’ve been dying to ask – now you can. Ask about the MMP, ask about nicknames, ask about TP, ask anything you want about everything and everyone in the MMP. No limits!

However, this is not a promise that your questions will be answered. We’re nice, dammit, but we can be discreet if necessary (stop snickering – we can so!!!) or contrary just because, or silent just to mess with you. :smiley: Whether you’re a Mumper or not, ask your questions. You might get lucky and get a real answer!

Go ahead – ask!

Oh yeah, and Happy Monday!

Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. YAWN 'Tis 78 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 97 for the day. Hawt and hyooomid like Summer in south Jawja is. Also, I have to go back to irk today. ICK!

MOOOOOM says ask and ye shall receive. Or not. We’re all spontaneous and willy-nilly like that. :smiley:

Now I shall seek out more caffiene and brekkie for rumbly tummy. Then, alas, irk purtification must commence. Back to the grind.

Happy Monday Y’all!

ETA: First! YAY!!!

Dear MMP:

Why have I spent the whole night waking up every half-hour to one hour, dreaming of vlookups and of my soon-to-be-ex-client, one of whose divisions has a quality manager who thinks things must be inspected one way, a lab manager who reckons it needs to be a second way, and two lab techs who prepare inspections a third way?

And why are there so many bosses who have not the fuckingest idea of how exactly do their subordinates do things, yet who are convinced they know it?


:confused: in Spain

Dear :confused: in Spain,

Obviously, you are cursed to work for Teh Stoopits - sucks to be you, I guess… :wink: I suggest you find yourself a Sugar Daddy who will support you in the style of your choosing and spend your day lounging by the seaside enjoying fruity drinks garnished with little paper umbrellas. Mass annihilation of bosses is another option, but society at large tends to frown on that one, so make it your last resort.

Love and kisses,


Dear MMP:

If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and half in a day and a half, how long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Cornfuzzed in Merrylande

Dear Cornfuzzed in Merrylande,

Orange, but only when winds are light and variable.


Dear MMP:

Would that be a function of the leg’s exact composition?

Intrigued in Spain

Dear MMP

Is it an African or a European grasshopper?

Also, does the MMP have a strategy for the approaching zombie apocalypse?

Shivering in the UK.

Mooooom. Does :confused: in Spain’s Sugar Daddy have a ([del]cute[/del] hot) sister; in the US?
When are you getting a smartphone?
All, Can I have the day off…with pay? (Today’s the first time in 1½ weeks it won’t reach 90.)

Up, caffeinated, off to irk. Today is the Feast of St. Arnold, Patron Saint of breweries.:cool:
Dear Boofae, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, I plan on holing up with a whole bunch of guns, beer, and TP.

Dear BooFae,

Our grasshopper mercenary army will protect us from the zombie apocalypse. Plus we have lots of pointy sticks. And, of course, the secret mountain-top MMP fortress… but I’ve said too much.

Best Regards,

Dear Spidey,

The MMP not your pimp - find your own hot sisters. As to your second question - never. :stuck_out_tongue: And regarding a day off with pay, sure, tell your boss we said it’s OK.

Affectionately, but not too much,

All, Can I have the day off…with pay? (Today’s the first time in 1½ weeks it won’t reach 90.)[/QUOTE]

Wimp. Us northern Illini endured 10 days of 100 degrees before the weather finally broke Sunday. And I ain’t fixin it. I never thought I’d see the day when 85 degrees was cool. Now I know why Hell is depicted as fire.

I am shamed to complain of the heat. If Yankees can live through it, so can I.


Mooooom, I think you may have misunderstood my original request; I was asking if the Sugar Daddy had a rich, attractive sister as I want a Sugar Momma. Though if you know some hot (but not rich) sisters, I *suppose *I could deal with that. :smiley:

I’m a contractor, I had to take July 4th off, but didn’t even get paid for that.
Peedin, I spent significant portions of the past two weekends outside. I wasn’t complaining. It’s just that there are more Gatorade/Powerade bottles in the recycle bin than beer bottles (& they’re 32oz, not 12oz).

Good Gad, man, how you must suffer!

Us Yankees haven’t had it that bad. I don’t think it’s gotten above 95 at all yet.

How do I make my C5 pinched nerve stop hurting so effing much? :frowning:

Especially while moving to a new state?

Ice, Advil, neck stretches help, but I need it to just stop hurting. :frowning:
Pouting Petunia

OK, my turn to ask the MMP:

Please look at theseand give me some feedback, with minimal snark, if you don’t mind… :wink: I’m going to take them (and others I’ve made) to the little store that’s selling my ceramics. I call them SofTrivets - they’re crocheted cotton pads for use under hot pots, pans, and casserole dishes. The red one is a double - I crochet 2 round pieces, then join them. I’ve made them with one solid side and with patterns on both sides. The other two are crocheted with a larger hook and a double strand of the cotton yarn, so they’re quite thick and they look essentially the same on both sides. If you didn’t read the descriptions, they’re all in the 8.5-9" range - my tension varies according to how many times I’m interrupted while I’m working. :smiley:

I’m thinking of asking $8 for the double strand styles and $10 or $12 for the red one and others of that style, since they take longer to make.

My husband’s grandmother gave us a half dozen of the double-sided ones many years ago. At first I thought they were kind of cheezy - especially the colors she chose - but doggone, those things are handy! I can pull a lasagne out of the oven and plop it down on a pair of 'em without worrying about the heat of the pan. Stuff off the stove or out of the microwave can go right to the table and I don’t worry about damage to my table or the plastic liner under the tablecloth. And they launder beautifully. So I thought I’d give 'em a shot. If they don’t sell, I have my Christmas presents ready this year. :smiley:

Dear Pouting Petunia,

Drink heavily. It might not help your neck, but after a while, you won’t care.

You’re welcome,


Those are nice FCM. I have some vintage ones that are smaller, but they’re hard to find. And the prices sound reasonable.