I would estimate that you look approximately 13 trillion times LESS cool than you THINK you do.
That’s all I’ve got…
Look Ma! I got the first thread reply!
waves wildly
Well, given that TV is such a vital, key pillar of the lives of most people (friend to the lonely couch potato, babysitter, opiate of the masses, God?), it’s no surprise that the average person gets their nipples turned into nails over the thought of actually being on TV.
But that sounds awfully painful.
Yep, probably an 8.5 out of 10 on the lame-o-meter. Add an extra half point if it’s at a sporting event and they’re calling their friend on a cell phone while they are doing it.
Haj
yeah, baby!
What about the people who try to get a “Free South Dakota!” chant going during a live newscast?
-lv
…with the purchase of any Dakota of equal or greater value.
I can’t understand how anyone could think they look cool doing it. Did the waving morons see other waving morons on TV and say “Damn, I wish I could be as cool as that?”
The worst example of this was mentioned in an article following Karla Fay Tucker’s execution. It was an execution, but there were TV cameras around, so naturally some jackasses decided to turn up with “Hi Mom” signs.
I recall the late sportscaster Glenn Brenner showing a clip from a “victory celebration” up in Boston in the mid 1980’s, I think the Celtics had won the NBA title.
ANYway, there was an old (65ish) reporter doing a live remote, or trying to do one and he was surrounded by a bunch of drunken asshats. There was one guy who kept jumping in front of the reporter and trying to grab his mike. Finally the reporter said, “Sorry, but because the people out here are acting like they are on a tramp steamer we’ll send it back to the studio.”
A more pissed off news reporter I haven’t seen for a long time.
Let’s not forget the morons who design those news sets at street level with huge windows to encourage this idiocy.
I think the crowds ought to be served whiskey and LSD. Then they might as amusing as they think they are.
Didn’t Howard Stern try and get someone to flash or moon the Today Show and offer them a cash prize if it got on the air? Or am I just making that up?
All of which brings us to spooje’s stupid question of the day.
Why the fuck are they doing live ‘location’ reports???
Seriously, why? I could see it if there was something breaking, like a fire, because that’s happening now. But I get irritated when they have a live report at the scene when the news item in question happened hours before. More than enough time for them to put together a tape to add to their live report.
Hey, asshat. You had more than enough time to compile your report and get your lilly ass back to the studio. I’m really not impressed that you are ‘live on the scene’. The fucking anchor in the studio could do the report. Better, even.
In addition to this, when there are scores and scores of eyewitnesses to an event, I’d like to make it illegal to air an interview with anyone who is incapable of properly explaining what they “saw” instead choosing to repeatedly say “Then I *seen…”
Grrr.
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I have a little video clip of a woman flashing in the “Today Show” crowd, but I don’t know if it was instigated by Howard Stern. (Might as well have been.) The look on Katie Couric’s face is more entertaining than the nudity.
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How does this huge rainbow afro wig look on me? I don’t look stupid or anything, do I?
Only an extra half-point, haj? I see these fuckwads during HBO’s boxing events, jumping up and waving, cell phone in hand. And they do it several times, either because their friends are as stupid as they are and can’t see them the first time, or because they’re calling several different friends, all with the same “Wheeee! I’m on cable!” message. These guys piss me off so badly, I have trouble concentrating on the match.
HBO (among others) should employ bouncers to grab these dumbfucks when they’re spotted by the cameramen. I’d love nothing more than to see Mr. Cell-Happy Fuckwit get dragged away by several burly men with sunglasses and no necks. What I’d love even more is a recording of the guy’s call as he gets pounced on by the group of 400-pound gorillas.
I haven’t seen the boxing subspecies of this type of imbecile, only the baseball type sitting behind homeplate. I like your idea very much though.
Haj
Then there’s that guy who turns up all over the place with his placard that says “John 3:16”.
They are generally very lame and sad, but there is one that sticks in my mind (it turns up on outtake compilations now and again); there’s a reporter speaking to the camera about some industrial action somewhere or other and in the background we see a man running toward camera (behind the back of the unsuspecting reporter) - he eventually gets there, leans over the shoulder of the reporter and shouts “WANKERS!” in a really crazed sort of way. stupid but makes me laugh every time.
Something that seems to have gained popularity of late is the shot where the reporter is walking in a busy street, toward the camera, talking as he goes; the camera zooms out as he walks, so he remains the same apparent size all along, but to get this shot they must be shooting from quite a way away; I’ll bet they waste loads of takes on footage of perplexed pedestrians wondering why this guy is walking along talking to himself.
My email address is opalcat@fathom.org. Please send 