Maddening tactics of TV News programming

Any Dopers with me on this?
Commentators will sometimes suddenly make announcements during commercial breaks or between progra ms, like this one I heard in the early 70s:
“(fast voice)” Gasoline 99c per gallon in Brooklyn. Film at 11."
Or they’ll run “teasers,” snippets of upcoming news coverage which you have to wade through all other news to get to–and even mounds of commercials. And sometimes they never get to the part you waited to see.
Please post here some tactic of TV news programming that got your dander up!

To find out about the disease that could be killing you RIGHT NOW, tune in Thursday at 11.

I don’t watch televised news, I find it just enrages me. Not because of what they are reporting, but because of how they are reporting it. My main gripe right now is how these newscasters actually look. They used to be Walter Kronkites and the like, but now they’re these airbrushed, bland and stony faces (unless it’s the “cute” girl). And their eyes; their dead, dead eyes.

My website used to have the tagline, “Why you should never feel safe again. . . News at Eleven.”

I get 99.99% of my news from the newspapers. I did watch a local Fox “newscast” last year, and they had a “special live report” on the dangers of automatic doors. They had some poor reporter (I guess he lost when they drew straws) go out for a live, on-the-scene report.

Now, get this. The particular set of automatic doors he was standing in front of were not being accused of doing anything malicious to unsuspecting customers. It seems some doors, somewhere, closed on somebody; but to make sure we slack-jawed viewers understood, Fox felt compelled to conduct an entire exchange between the newsroom and this one reporter.

“That’s right, Fred. Doors very similar to the ones I’m standing in front of have been implicated in severe customer injury.”

You think we couldn’t have figured out what automatic doors look like without the live visual aid? Couldn’t they have just had a studio report? If they were going to go to all that trouble, the least they could have done is rig them to spring on some poor sap coming along.

in that same vein…

do they really need to have a reporter in the middle of a hurricane? especially when the area has been evacuated?

To me there are too many interviews on the news. If a tornado strikes, just give the facts. I don’t need to hear from a trailer dweller telling us how scary it was when his mobile home became mobile. Or interviewing fans at “the big game”? Who cares. Yes, the fans are excited to be there. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be there. Every news story does not need an interview to complete it.

Keep the reporter in the middle of the hurricane, in the hopes that the reporter gets blown away.

I love it when they make a big deal about discovering the blatantly obvious. Like doing a special report coming to the less than shocking conclusion that college students drink.

The 2 biggies for me have already been mentioned. The ‘live report’ and the ‘reaction shot’. Hate them.

I mean 'Here’s Bob Whatsisname with a live report. Thanks, Dan, I’m standing at the scene of where something happened 4 hours ago. It’s pretty much been cleaned up, but it was pretty horrific."

Then they show videotape that they prepared earlier, complete with reaction from community members saying it was bad. Like we couldn’t figure it out that it was bad on our own. Richard Jeni said in his stand-up act “Now our man at the scene is going to see if can a victim to cry on camera.”

Hate 'em.

I would love to make a video compendium of eyewitnesses saying,

“There was this loud bang…”

Lord knows there are enough of them.You might think that being in the midst of some life-altering event the reporter could find someone more eloquent.

Another peeve is when a report comes up along the lines of,

“Three Britons and four hundred nonentities were killed horribly in a disaster, we speak to the some person round here who can has nothing at all to do with it except that they live nearby and can almost speak English”

“We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin. The earth will explode in two seconds. Film at 11.”

What I hate is when it starts snowing outside, and they interrupt the program you’re watching to basically say “Hey, guess what? It’s snowing outside.”

In Canada the only problem I have are those ones where they say all the cool news, then you watch and wait for it, and it’s about half a minute long.

A couple of years ago one of the local stations got some sort of new toy for their weather reports. I can’t remember now what this amazing technological advance enabled them to do, but I do remember that they were always bragging about it in their commercials. Anyway, they were so keen to show it off that they interrupted the program to inform the viewers that there was (gasp!) a thunderstorm in the area. After describing the movements of the storm in minute detail (accompanied by all sorts of computer graphics) the weatherman said, “Well, there hasn’t been much change, so let’s recap the situation” and then did it all over again!

I cringe every time a reporter asks “How do you feel?” What kind of stupid question is that?? What will that tell anyone? What will that add to any story? What is the point?

I hate watching the news…

I believe that would be a Doppler radar that the weather people brag about. At least two of the local channels have them and every time there’s even a hint of a storm within, say, 200 miles, they get all excited because they get to use the radar. I am not complaining about the technology, I don’t mind lots of lead time if there’s a bad storm coming, but I wish they would quit talking about it like they are the only channel on Earth to have it!

Back after Desert Storm some soldiers from our local National Guard unit came home and of course the reporters were at the airport, shoving their mikes in peoples faces, trying to get interviews when all these folks wanted to do was go home. The question that made me laugh like a rabid hyena was from a reporter who tried to ask a young couple, (who already were in a BIG clinch)“do you have any plans for this evening?” DUH!!!

And I hate it when these supposedly educated newscasters mispronounce words and place names. New DEL-hye, India,
Wi-CHEE-ta, Kansas, etc.

Wait a minute. College students drink? Since when?

[local aside] OK, ChrisCTP and other QC Dopers: Does that not remind you of Terry Swails just about pissing himself every time it gets cloudy? And Paula Sands being “funny” and asking him when he’s going to “bring us some good weather?” God, that woman needs to be shot. [/local aside]

The one thing that really irks me is the cough witty banter cough.

It really gets under my skin. I mean I want the news, just the plain old dry news, like in the newspaper. If I want to laugh, I’ll watch something else. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

And on that note, Devoting more than 10 seconds to a story that happened outside of the country? That would be a good thing.