a near-relative killed himself

I say near relative because he’s my stepmother’s nephew. But hell, I consider him a cousin. He disappeared on Tuesday, and they didn’t find his body until Friday. He was staying with a friend, who didn’t seem to care that he had gone, but left his keys behind (thanks “friend”). He shot himself. He had an uncle who did the same thing.

I have friends who have known someone who tried or succeeded in committing suicide, but this is the first time anyone I know has done it. There was no note, and no warning signs.

He’s a kid I played “Cops and Robbers” with, and clobbered me at Super Mario Brothers. He worked in a restaurant, and talked about going to culinary school.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

I’m so sorry, easy e. It’s a tough thing to go through. (My mother did numerous attempts while I was growing up, and my best friend succeeded when I was 30, so I have some tiny idea what you’re going through.)

It’s hard to sort out the grief and the anger and the confusion and the feeling that somehow (how?) you could have prevented it, if only… something. Give yourself permission to feel all these things, and let yourself be a little nuts yourself for a while.

Take care of yourself.

{{{{{easy e}}}}}

I’m sorry to hear that easy e.

i’m so very sorry easy e. y’all are in my thoughts and prayers.