“Just ask nicely.”
“She kept saying ‘No, no. That’s wrong. Keep trying until you get it right!”
“We ride it to town where the women are.”
She moved two inches closer and said, “How about now?”
He said angrily, "This is neither the thyme nor the plaice!”
“Know it? Hell, I wrote it!”
“Every time you turn around, I step out of the circle!”
No. He choked on a sock!
“Excuse me, is this stool taken?”*
*Not the same joke as #1372.
“Would you believe me if I say I’m waiting for the train?”
“If the rubber breaks, they’re both in deep shit.”
Mrs. Katz and her lawyer.
“Uh, that’s not what I meant when I said ‘You put it on.’”
“What’s that sound?”
Neither. They’re both stuck up.
“Hang on a second. Lemme get my hat.”
“They always come in a little behind.”
“That was, let me see… eight, no, nine years after Sheik Ahmed farted as he bowed to the Sultan.”
“It was a flop and nobody came.”
“Pop,:” goes the weasel.