This is some wild bananapants brain salad.
It’s proxies all the way down.
“And any time someone’s your mentor, then you become a duplicate of them.” wat?
Don’t read the link, it may be too late. You’ll slip into the wackdoodle and never resurface. QAloon meets oG, meets MAGA… wait, I’m hearing voives calling me … arrrrgggghhhhgggg
That would be the winner of the “sounds like an onion article” thread.
I read it and lost 1d4 SAN points.
Fucking Qanon Mythos tomes!
I can see why this guy likes trump. He seems to occupy the same “reality”.
Do you want to know more about Pastor Vaughn?
Key points:
- Claims to be the youngest ordained evangelist in America.
** That honor actually goes to Marjoe Gortner. - Claims to have a Doctor of Theology from World Vision University in Dallas, TX.
** There is no such outfit as World Vision University. There is a similarly named program at American College of Education but they don’t have a Th.D. program. - Claims to have “lived [his] whole life for the Lord”; however, as an adult he spent three years in prison for fraud.
What about his ministry?
- Refers to Jesus as Yeshua.
** Seems to be part of the Messianic Jewish movement (which, of course, is not Jewish as it is Christian). - Founder of Biblical Foundations Institute.
** Not accredited, yet offers Associate in Theology, Bachelor of Christian Education, and are "preparing [their] Doctorate [sic] degree program for future expansion. - Offers (and I apologize for the PDF) a COVID-19 vaccination religious exemption letter that looks like it was written by Trump.
- First option for following the ministry on social media is to parler.
What about his wife, the cofounder of his ministry?
- Believes she was resurrected.
- Claims to be a faith healer.
- Received her bachelor of theology from–and you saw this coming from a thousand cubits away, didn’t you?–Biblical Foundations Institute.
Yeah, these are the folks I’m going to (a) get my spiritual guidance, or (b) advanced education from. At least their degree programs are free.
I think the original post is somewhere in this thread. It linked to George Conway’s rewriting of the Decalogue to mock Republicans. I went ahead and rewrote those commandments in regular modern English then asked an AI to rewrite them in the style of King James Version English. Here is the result.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me, except thou shalt faithfully follow thine Orange Jesus, even if it leads thee to traverse the precipice of moral descent.
Thou shalt not craft unto thyself any graven image, unless thou procurest it from the sacred emporium of http://DonaldJTrump.com.
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, except when thou art moved to assail Brandon or RINOs with thy righteous words.
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy, unless thou art drawn to partake in the melodies of a musical production within the confines of Denver.
Honour thy father and thy mother, and inter thy mother’s remains upon the verdant expanse of thy father’s hallowed golf course.
Thou shalt not commit murder, yet thou art permitted to defend thine abode and subdue looters with thy swift and resolute aim, or deploy reptilian sentinels in thy rivers to ward off trespassing Mexicans.
Thou shalt not commit adultery, but if thou shouldst find thyself entangled with a woman of the profession of adult entertainment, thou shalt discreetly remunerate her through an intermediary and obscure such transaction within the annals of thy financial accounts.
Thou shalt not pilfer, unless thou art compelled to acquire a surplus of popular votes or if thou canst successfully conceal stolen documents within the sanctum of thine abode’s lavatory.
Thou shalt not bear false witness. Verily, I say unto thee, LOL.
Thou shalt not covet, although thou mayest find temptation in the realms of Commandments 2, 4, 7, and 8, as aforementioned.
That letter is long winded and full of puffery. Why didn’t he just say, “My god says no.” To the point, but no they have to lay on a bunch of pseudo christian nonsense.
Pseudo-Jewish nonsense, you mean. Remember, they’re a new flavor of Messianic Judaism.
Ooops all the “Messianic Jew” bs, speaking of pseudo bs.
Did you check out that “school” website? The courses are free, but to get the degree (worthless though it is), you must travel to their church/school and receive it in person at graduation. Seriously, I bet Trump is seriously peeved he didn’t think of that years ago.
Whoops. He did think of a fake school. But, as with everything else he’s personally involved in, it tanked.
Considering how often this happens, maybe he should consider a fish store.
Back on topic as I think those traitors that attacked Congress on January 6, 2021 were enabling Trump, or at least attempting to enable him.
Jan. 6 rioter who wielded 2x4 wooden plank in Capitol sentenced to nearly 3 years in prison
A Colorado man who allegedly hit a police officer with a 2x4 wooden plank during the Jan. 6 riot was sentenced Friday to nearly three years in prison.
Jacob Travis Clark of Colorado Springs was sentenced to 33 months in prison, followed by 12 months of supervised release, the Justice Department said in a news release.
Just for the unitiated (by whom I mean the magatoflatearthers), yes, a 2x4 is a weapon when you hit someone upside the head with it.
I seem to recall that pro wrestler Hacksaw Jim Duggan always carried a 2x4 into the ring. Yep, such a thing can be a weapon, as Hacksaw Jim was glad to demonstrate.
Nitpick, a 2x4 is a deadly weapon when you hit someone upside the head with it.
I wonder where the grift comes in. Donations I suppose. Also probably a crappy gift shop.
(n.b. the quote shown here was quoted by Monty, not written by them)
Does a news organization still have to use “allegedly” when someone has been found guilty? Or was this Colorado man found guilty of something other than assault of a police officer with a 2x4?
Now that I think of it, I guess they had to have convicted him of riot, because they call him a “rioter” rather than an “alleged rioter”. Is that how that works? It’s all kind of confusing.
I haven’t been critical of the “light” sentences some of these assholes have received. Any jail time sucks, and I’m generally in favor of short sentences for almost everyone. However, I think 33 months is too light for this guy.