First criminal conviction then a civil trial for damages.
I object to a 2 x 4 being called a ‘plank’. It’s just a 2 x 4.
I was guessing a compulsory stay in their dormitory, so you remain you’re while being instructed in the One True Path.
Yeah, they probably have the whole Jim Jones, Branch Davidian thing going on.
Thank you. I suppose no one wanted to say he’d been struck by a stud.
No shit. A 2x4 of any length over a foot is a lethal weapon. Especially considering that a cop was the victim.
I object to using a 2x4 as a weapon.
There’s no way you get a decent grip on that. Splurge on a nice hardwood cudgel, you peons.
I think the entire course of instruction for their so-called college is online. It’s only the final step to pick up your diploma (at whatever level) that you’re required to bless them with your presence. No show = no parchment.
But will they accept my Prager U credits? They only cost me a few hundred thousand dollars per year!
I wonder if they do accept credits in transfer from legitimate universities. My alma mater, University of California, Davis, has a fairly decent philosophy and religious studies program.
PragerU, on the other hand… 
. Hey, maybe DeSantis will give them accreditation. Their products are right down his brimstone-tainted alley.
A fellow Aggie alumnut. Cool!
No kidding?! What was your major and when were you there? I majored in linguistics, graduating in 2004.
Chemistry, class of 1982. Cheers!
I just asked my preferred AI to create a parody about Trump in the style of MAD. Took a few tries to get something really coherent.
(To the tune of “Yankee Doodle Dandy”)
Verse 1:
He rode into the White House on a golden escalator,
With a hairstyle that defied gravity, couldn’t be greater.
The Republicans cheered him, said he’d make America great,
But what we got was chaos, oh, it’s not up for debate!
Chorus:
Donald Trump, the GOP’s big lump,
They followed him, oh, like a bunch of chumps.
With tweets and scandals, he caused quite a rump,
Oh, what a ride with Trump!
Verse 2:
He built a wall of promises, but Mexico won’t pay,
And climate change was just a hoax, he’d proudly say.
He hired and fired, shook up the administration,
While half the nation held their breath in trepidation.
(Chorus)
Verse 3:
His policies and speeches, they were quite the show,
And late-night comedians had endless material to throw.
He clashed with Congress, the courts, and the FBI,
And his ties to Russia, my oh my, oh my!
(Chorus)
Verse 4:
The GOP, they stood behind him, come what may,
While Democrats opposed him, every single day.
The country felt divided, in turmoil and in strife,
As Trump’s presidency went on, for four long years of life.
(Chorus)
Verse 5:
Now, the story of the GOP with Trump’s name,
Is a chapter in the history of political fame.
We’ll see what the future holds, for this grand old party,
As they navigate the aftermath, with strategy and artistry.
(Chorus)
I was thinking the same thing. Only someone who doesn’t know what a 2x4 is would call it that, and I feel like pretty much everyone (in the US) knows what a 2x4 is
Kinda gets my panties in a bunch too. Like when reporters call ANY kind of construction equipment a bulldozer. No… that’s a fork lift.
A fork lift is a bulldozer with a couple of 2x4 planks sticking out the front, right?
(Bolding mine)
This is starting to get to me because in the UK it’s a 4x2, and I find the term 2x4 inexplicably disturbing.
Carry on.
j
If it makes you feel any better, it’s actually a 1.5 x 3.5.