A nationally televised interview would clarify this matter once and for all.
Let’s see his longue form certificate.
He’d never agree. Too much of a La-Z-Boy for that.
Or a hidden-camera sting where he thinks he’s alone with the couch and we see if he can control himself.
A couch? It told me it was a conversation pit…
I heard it was a fainting couch.
He took advantage while it was unconscious.
Someone needs to ask where Cosby was at the time.
The chaise is better than the couch. Lemmy already knew that.
John Oliver asked. They hung up on him.
He’s going to have to be very careful about what live interviews he agrees to.
I’m very disappointed in the internet, there is no JD Vance version of the Piper Perri Surrounded meme.
Just to put this in perspective. This guy who I had never heard but whose claim to fame appears to be making minecraft animations about zombies but has been defunct for 8 years, has 30% more subscribers than the entirety of Truth Social.
FWIW, Slate doubts it: Is J.D. Vance wearing eyeliner? There are a few theories.
(squinting and screeching)
Why should Trump pick JD Vance, who fucked a couch in 2020?
Should we even waste two seconds on JD Vance, who fucked a couch in 2020? (smacks podium)
Well, first of all it’s not true. (smacks podium)
It’s not true that JD Vance fucked a couch in 2020! (smacks podium)
There’s no truth to the rumor JD Vance fucked a couch in 2020! (smacks podium)
If you have any proof that JD Vance fucked a couch in 2020, stop gossiping and go straight to an upholsterer about it!
This guy gets it.
There is absolutely no truth in the rumor that JD Vance is a couch-fucker.
I totally agree. We should ignore the couch fucking and concentrate on the issues.
The constitution makes no mention of couch fucking in its list of requirements for the vice president. It is entirely possible that someone who fucks couches, or fresh produce for that matter has all the qualities needs to be president. Not that I’m saying he fucks rutabagas, there is no more evidence of that he fucks them than that he fucks ripened Brie, or warm bags of manure. I’m just saying that what a candidate does in the privacy of his own bedroom, or living room, or refrigerator, or garden shed, or linen closet, should not count against him when it comes to deciding who to vote for.
Is it appropriate, given the proclivities of certain Republicans for illegally young partners to ponder the age of the alleged couch that Vance allegedly fucked?
Because, we’re long past the age of heirloom household furniture. I doubt any alleged couch that was allegedly fucked by Vance could have been considered of legal age!
Not that I’m saying Vance is a child-couch fucker, I just want to protect the children-couch!
Are we done with the couch idiocy yet? Because frankly that’s the least horrifying thing about him.
He let’s the couch fuck him.
He does, however, have a very nice couch in Canada. You wouldn’t have seen it.
Yesterday Kyle Rittenhouse said he wasn’t going to vote for Trump (and instead vote for Paul) because of 2A issues. After less than a day of harassment, financial abandonment, and being accused of many things (including being trans), he just capitulated with basically a “I searched my soul” tweet.