A piano with 'strings'

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Recently a friend of mine offered me the piano that they have in their house. They are hoarders, and in an effort to de-hoard my friend wanted to get rid of the piano so he could put in shelving/storage space in its place. I was happy to get it off his hands, since I used to play the piano and miss not having one for many years.

However, this ‘free’ piano apparently came with strings, and not the wiry metal kind that make the noise. See, the piano is not actually his- its his MiL (who said he could give it away). When I called him this morning discussing picking it up on Sunday, he said we needed professional movers :confused: to move it to our place. See, they don’t want the piano ruined.

I understand a piano is a heavy, delicate thing, and is an instrument and not just some piece of furniture. But this isn’t some grand piano they spent five figures on- just a run-of-the-mill spinet piano collecting dust under a bunch of clutter stacked on top of it. We were planning on borrowing my MiL’s truck and loading it up, strapping it down securely, and bringing it home. But we can’t do that, according to my friend.

I’m getting the feeling this ‘free’ piano isn’t quite so free. I almost wished my friend phrased is as “I’ll sell you the piano for $200, and use the money to deliver it to your house”. I would’ve cut him a check if he phrased it that way. But to me, free is FREE. Not “Free*”

*Some restrictions apply. Not valid in all states. Receiver must assume all transportation and liability costs upon receipt

I’m tempted to haggle with him to split the cost of ‘proessional movers’. If he really wanted to give up the piano so bad, he’d trust that we could safely get it to my house. But the way that he talks about needing to transport it a specific way, suggests that I’m not so much getting the piano, as I am ‘borrowing it for a long time’ and that he may ask for it back in a few years time :rolleyes:

This isn’t the first time my friend offered something for ‘free’. When we moved in this place, he offered to loan us their spare washer/dryer long term. Why not give it to us? Why, in case their washer/dryer breaks and they needed the spare :rolleyes: . My friend is a hoarder, and trying to de-hoard, but I get the feeling that even when he gives something to someone, he can’t quite completely give it up, and wants the piece of mind he can ‘repo’ it back if he needs/wants it. I’m trying to explain to him that its a false generosity to initially offer something for free then throw all this bullshit conditions tacked on.

2

I would pass on this one, and go find a good, cheap piano from someone else that doesn’t want to retain an ownership share. This sounds less like he’s giving you a piano and more like you are giving him a storage facility.

3

I’d pass. When pressed, tell him you don’t want to spend that money.

4

I’d decline as well, and I’m prompted to ask (as if it matters) how much of a “friend” this person is otherwise. Is he the type that can take “No” for an answer?

5

I don’t have an concrete advice on the piano issue, but if your friend is trying to cope with his hoarding tendencies, you might make a gift of a new book to him. Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things. The link goes to Amazon, which has lots of content, including an image sequence which shows how to identify a hoarding problem. There is a good review of the book by Scientific American: Mind.

The book contains case studies including how to overcome hoarding tendencies. It’s a very practical approach to the problem.

You might also give your friend a copy of the September 2011 issue of Scientific American: Mind, which has an article along similar lines if you think the book might be a bit too much. The online preview of the article is short on details, but it’s a very good read and at very least might give you some insight into why your friend feels this way, even if it’s irrational and inconvenient.

Enjoy,
Steven

6

Yep, pass on it. I see free pianos in the classifieds constantly. Sadly, keyboard’s technology and space savings have made household pianos somewhat obsolete.
Why does he believe you would be any less careful than a professional mover? Besides, you’ll need to shell out another $150-200 to have it tuned.

7

Ditto on the pass. If he’s giving it away, I can appreciate him wanted to make sure it’s taken care of, but requiring you to hire movers is a little silly. I did professional moving for a few years while I was an undergrad and I’m also a pianist, and I can say that, if it’s just a spinnet, it doesn’t take professional movers to move it. You do need to make sure you move it properly by keeping it upright (laying it on it’s back can permanently damage it) and you will most likely have to retune it if it isn’t already horribly out of tune.

Anyway, like they said, it sounds like it’s not so much a real honest attempt at unhoarding. If he’s really giving it away, he should be okay with you taking it as long as you’re going to enjoy it and not just be beating it with a sledgehammer or something.

8

Unfortunately, an old acoustic spinet isn’t worth much these days, having been eclipsed by new, cheap electronic instruments that are much less bulky. I’d say you should pass on this “free” offer.

9

I’ll sell you one for $100 and I don’t care if you take it by dragging it behind your car.

10

Um. If your friend is trying to de-hoard, maybe just grab it for him from the library?

11

This situation is not uncommon. I’ve experienced it myself and known a fellow teacher who gave away a piano with the restriction of getting professional movers. Partly, it is protecting the instrument, partly it is avoiding possible liability if an amateur hurts himself trying to move the piano.

12

My mom gave me her old piano when I moved to my new house. Even though we self-moved the rest of our possessions, I paid $200 for some beefy guys with experience moving pianos to bring it to me. That’s money well-spent. Pianos are heavy and delicate.

13

If they are giving you the piano in the sense that it is now yours, then you can do whatever you like with it or to it.

If they are asking you to store it for them, then they have the right to demand that you transport it in such a way as to minimize the risk of damage.

If it’s just a free piano you are after, get in touch with local churches and schools. Sadly, an upright piano is now viewed as more or less worthless, while digital approximations are considered much more useful.

For what my opinion is worth, I would never move a piano I cared about by myself or with a group of friends. A piano is that rare, interesting combination of large, awkward, heavy and delicate all at the same time. Even a not particularly great upright from the early 20th century becomes completely worthless when it gets dropped or falls over and cracks the sound board or bends the harp. Whether the people ‘giving’ this piano away demand it or not, I’d recommend professional movers.

14

No way I’d give a library book to a hoarder. Once stuff goes in, it doesn’t come back out is the entire problem. Plus the sections of the book which deal with how to develop a system of categorizing things so important stuff doesn’t get lost and fair evaluations of what to keep versus what to trash need to be his constant companion for the rest of his life. A gift of the book makes the most sense, even though there’s a decent chance it would become clutter. Books and other information-rich materials tend to be prime hoarder fodder. They always think they’ll get around to reading or re-reading them, so they keep them.

I’m helping a friend clear out his workshop, and when we first started all it had were the little “goat trails” from one place to another. He’s showing all the classic symptoms of hoarding, seeing value in everything, not wanting to let something go which may have some use at some future date. Keeping decades old books on ceramic pottery techniques because someone may want to buy them. He’s got a stereo system with an 8-track player. A tent with no tent poles. Multiple draftsman’s tables. He remembers what he paid for these things, and the care that went into selecting them, which, to be fair, they were significantly valuable once upon a time. But today they’re just trash and he has to accept that. It’s an uphill battle though because it seems it may well be part of our mental wiring to keep stuff instead of letting go of it.

Enjoy,
Steven

15

Of course a hoarder will have a hard time giving up ownership! If your main goal is to help your friend, do it. If it’s to get a free piano, don’t. But, remember, you said that, if he’d just phrased it differently, you wouldn’t be upset.

16

I’d pass. I suspect you’re correct, and he’s considering this more of a loan than a gift.

I’ve moved pianos several times, including a box grand. It ain’t rocket surgery, you just have to be careful. If they’re going to put requirements on moving it, then what else are they going to require later?

I’ve got a friend who was a packrat. Nowhere near the hoarding level you’re talking about, just a tendency to keep stuff.

Now she’s become a “purger” and seems to be intent on ridding herself of all possessions.

Which is fine, except for the ones that she gave away and then kept wanting to borrow back again.

I think everyone has finally just told her that they’re not interested in being her storage units. She’s quit doing it, at any rate.

17

Remember the Lucy episode where she sold all her stuff and then didn’t like the idea of other people altering it, so she bought it all back.

Pass