Fuck no; the limericks are the most coherent part of this thread. But I’ll give you a buck and a quarter if you continue. (This deal is contingent on you posting another limerick within two hours, otherwise you’re dead to me.)
Stranger
The pressure, it weighs on my mind
For it seems that I now cannot find
A rhyme that will work
Well enough for this -crap
Shit shit fuck shit shit fuck shit goddamn.
Now I’ll stop posting limericks here for $250.
Pay us for reading them.
Huh.
“… jerk
So I’ll just go and kick his behind”.
I suppose a hundred bucks for that helping hand would be out of the question?
I’ll kick in a buck forty-five towards that.
I just hope that this new idea of buying off posters to make them leave the board does not repeat itself. I find the whole idea distasteful. I enjoy seeing a variety of people and points of view here.
Concerning the idea that the Poster A, after convincing Poster B to perform an act by waving the Almighty Dollar in their face, seems to think that they have shown any superiority over Poster B: I tend to disagree with the conclusion. I am sure that I could convince some frat boy college student to eat a bag of cockroaches for $500, but I don’t see how either of us comes out any better than the other at the completion of that transaction.
I didn’t impress? Oh well, I’m not as desperate as you are for that sort of thing.
But how much would you pay for a romantic walk on the beach with me?
I think you’re misunderstanding my business model, here. The worse the limericks are, the more valuable their surcease becomes. Now my price has fallen $200, so you owe me $50.
I think the frat boy would disagree with you. $500 buys a lot of beer and pizza. 
The limericks have started a bidding war.
And surely there’s not a more fitting war.
For it’s surely a waste
Of our fragile good taste
Though it does get some users submitting more.
It’s not clear how much damage is done
To the Dope and its ethos, when one
Reaction to uproar
Is to go and create more
Limericks intended to stun.
A memory like a bear trap.
I e-mailed him a short time ago. He’s chillin’, he’ll be back.
And a body to match!
Me too. I’ve enjoyed Gaudere’s explanations of why no deity is required to apply a moral imperative. I’ve enjoyed Spiritus Mundi’s dissection of the cosmological argument. I’ve enjoyed Darwin’s Finch’s explanations of evolution and natural selection. I’ve enjoyed Voyager’s careful arguments articulating the differences between religious faith and scientific confidence. I’ve enjoyed SentientMeat’s almost unassailable defenses of physicalism. I’ve enjoyed it every time a poster has expressed a point of view that rose above the level of “neener neener”.
Ah, but which one gets $500 and a 500 post thread?
[…shrug…] I guess someone has to get the booby prize.
Could you express that in limerick form?