A Poll for Married Dopers

She tolerates baseball and lightly roots for the Yanks, she hates football. I have to put up with being dragged to Disney every other year, so that evens out with the baseball games.

Gay, almost 21 years. 62 and 45.

He would say A.
I would say A minus.

Not that my commitment is less, but my insecurity is more. He’s extremely charismatic, hot, and younger. Everybody (male and female) flirts with him, and he flirts back; it’s just the way he is. We have discussed this at length over the years. I accept his flirting, and he accepts my insecurity.

More or less the same for me. With the exception of infidelity, persistent vegetative states and a severe change of a similar nature, we’d stick it out together. We’ve been through some rough financial times together, and it hasn’t caused the relationship to sink. 99% A.

I’m in a hetero relationship, am 25, he’s 28, and we’ve been together for over five years and are getting married next year.

A. Without a doubt. We wouldn’t have agreed to “'til death do us part” if there was any question on the matter.

B, married for 9 years, together for twelve, two daughters.

I only picked B because you can never predict the future. I’d like to think A is possible.

B

We’re both 23. Together for over 5 years and married for 3 months.

Was married 57 years ago in June. (Hetro) longer than a lot of dopers were on earth.

Monavis

A

We’re like peas and carrots.

Both of us are 42. Hetero. Married 19 years, together 22 years, 2 kids and a dog

Close to an A. I can’t imagine either of us getting along so well with anybody else. We’ve been married almost 15 years, two kids.

AAAAAAAAAA

37 years together!

I guess I would go with A-, because of stuff like Alzheimer’s. Chronic vegetative states are more like “death”.

Male, hetero. I’m 52, she - isn’t. Married 26 years. Our motto for marriage

Regards.
Shodan

“A” without children, “C” with children.

A+B. If I have to choose one I’ll go with A. It’s the qualifiers that makes the choice difficult. They seem to be comparing things that are orders of magnitude different. In “A” the qualifier, “pitfalls”, connotes things like loss of job, house fire, or tornado devastation. Whereas in “B” the wording implies fundamental changes in who the person is —brain damage in which the person loses all ability to recognize his SO, disease which causes a personality change in which the SO is incapable of experiencing love, etc.

I wouldn’t expect my SO to stay with me if my personality fundamentally altered and could not be re-adjusted. I don’t think he would expect otherwise from me either. I’ll ask when he gets back.

Specs: 42, gay, partnered for 11+ years, known him for 12+ years.

B.

I’m 36, he’s 34; together for 1.5 years; living in sin for 2.5 months.

We sometimes refer to ourselves as “Us,” too – complete with the capital “U.” :slight_smile:

Just for the record, i’ll say B. :dubious:

I think I’d choose D, but I’d definitely word it differently. Maybe “Resigned to the fact that our marriage will stay the same, but maybe I’ll finally take a chance and leave.” We’ve been married for 26 years, but I don’t think it’s really been a real marriage for the past 20 years. If anyone ends it, it will be me.

Not married now, but I was for 18 years, and for 18 years I knew it was E. I was in it for the long haul. He wasn’t and I knew it from early on. Grass is always greener, ya know (to him).

Don’t feel like you’re the only one. My husband’s first marriage lasted for 18 years also, and according to him, it was bad almost from the start. (A “D” in this poll.) At first, it seemed fixable, and by the time he realized it wasn’t (E), there were kids, so he stuck it out as long as he could.

It’s a horrible, horrible existence.

B. I’d be very, very surprised if we weren’t together for life, but my parents got divorced, my wife’s parents got divorced, shit happens, and while that’s not an outcome either of us is aiming for you don’t always get what you want no matter how much you want it.