IOW: “Make him an honest man and give me a great-niece already!”
Er, no. Rather, they’re more concerned that if I marry outside the community, then I won’t be able to carry on our traditions (religious and social, and not limited to procreation) because he won’t let me, or that his culture will have its own traditions that will take precedence. My parents know that in actual fact this wouldn’t happen, hence their wholehearted acceptance of him, but convincing the extended family that this is the case isn’t easy.
I will answer, quickly, because someone sent me this. i really should be working, though!
What are you and what race is he/she?
E. Indian, and he is Chinese. Not a combination I have ever seen, though it mus exist elsewhere.
How long have you been together?
10 + years.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My side completely flipped and there was no communication for years. Now they have let up. His side was unsure but more of the “Is she good for you?” than “She’s not Chinese.” Vastly different reactions. From his parents I got a lot of feelings of “Well, at least she’s Asian”.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I am loving it. I have learned so much more about another culture and a different way of thinking than I ever would have had I married within my own race. I would be very reluctant now to even date someone within my own race, because there really is so much to be gained by an interracial relationship, and so much to be learned.
BTW, thanks for the pre-coding, and now I gotta run!
Yes, Anaamika, it does. My old girlfriend is East Indian. Her now husband is Chinese, and get this, they were both raised in Jamaica! They both have thick Jamaican accents, and they’re all but unintelligible to me when they’re speaking to each other. Before then I never new Jamaica had a sizeable East Indian and Chinese population.
robardin your kids really are very beautiful!!
Oddly enough, I’ve yet to be involved with an Asian woman. Not because of any sort of preference or bias on my part, but I tend not to self-segregate like many Asians so I guess that played a role.
Anyway, for that last question, I guess it wasn’t phrased the most accurately, since like most of you I’m pretty indifferent towards race (except that I have no clue what our hypothetical children would look like) and often forget there’s anything unusual or unique about our pairing. But I am more concerned about the inter-cultural aspect.
robardin it looks like you have beautiful family. And I appreciate that you mentioned the concerns you had, since I was starting to feel alone in that department. Plus, it’s nice to see another Asian guy date outside the race with good results (that goes for you as well, Anaamika).
I’m thoroughly enjoying reading these replies so keep em coming folks.
You guys would all fit in so well in Toronto. And robardin, your kids are indeed beautiful.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m (lapsed) Jewish white, she’s Hindu (east) Indian.
How long have you been together?
Three years, married 7 months.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Both sets of friends are fine. My family is fine, or is doing a good enough impression to fool me. Her mother is just happy that she’s happy. Her extended family, while very nice to me, would obviously have preferred she marry within her caste and community.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
Often I don’t even realize that we’re interracial. It was great being able to experience both sides of the wedding coin - a standard white dress wedding in New York, and a traditional Hindu ceremony in Mumbai. We haven’t yet nailed down the dilema of how to raise any children - I’m not against raising them Hindu as opposed to Jewish, I’m more against pressing any religion on them.
Oddly enough, we had a minor conversation about our interracial-ness a few days ago, pertaining to diet. She can’t eat beef, and is a vegetarian on top of that. I’m… not. We were discussing how we’ve made it work, and how (in our opinion) wrong it would be to force a religious diet on someone else for the sake of a relationship.
Yeah. They’re beautiful.
I can’t really contribute anything else to this thread. Himself and I are a mixed marriage, but not racially. It’s more like I’m a geek and he’s not.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Caucasian (from English stock), she’s Korean.
How long have you been together?
Erm… long time. 11 years, I think.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
None on my side. Her parents weren’t informed until we had been married for about 2 years (long story), so there was a little disgruntlement (for lack of a better word) at first… but now that they know me, all is good! In fact they’re here visiting right now.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I usually don’t think about it at all. We have occasional misunderstandings due to language and or/culture, but nothing major that we can’t figure out pretty quickly. There’s a lot to be said for being able to simply say, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” and having your partner laugh and try to explain a different way. We have a very good marriage.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Black, born and raised in the U.S. (Cleveland) My wife is Chinese, born in Hong Kong but raised in Canada (Toronto/Windsor)
How long have you been together?
7 Years, four of them married.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Whatever initial misgivings either of our family/friends had they kept to themselves. Now, my family loves her completely and vice versa. I will say that my folks were a little quicker to accept. My wife’s mom is VERY old-school Chinese. These days when we visit their restaurant in Toronto, she puts me to work at a wok station to cook while my wife is barely allowed in the kitchen! That underscores her acceptance more than just about anything else.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I’ll echo what most others have said. We almost never think about it, and are only reminded of it when we get the occasional odd look from somebody trying to “figure us out”. There are cultural differences that still come up occasionally and make the relationship challenging, but that’s part of the whole experience! We do joke and I say that she is BBM (Black by Marriage) and she says I’m more Chinese than Black, but it’s all in good fun.
Something I’ve noticed about interracial relationships (Hawaii has a lot, of course):
The two most common pairings rarely have a reverse:
It’s almost always White guy and Asian woman, rarely vice-versa.
It’s almost always Black guy and White woman, rarely vice-versa.
Now that I think about it, other than blacks, you rarely see see white women going out with other races.
Okay, on to me:
What are you and what race is he/she?
I am a haole and she is Filipina.
How long have you been together?
Married 5 years; dated about 5 years before that.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Nope, not one. And not just because I live in Hawaii, but it was the same way in Nebraska and Massachusetts.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I’ve always been more attracted to Asian women. Besides, half-haole & half-local baby girls are so pretty!
This is true, Hubzilla, although my parents are a couple of the exceptions. My mother’s Black and Catholic. My father’s White and Jewish.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m white (Celtic) and she’s Puerto-Rican.
How long have you been together?
1 years, 7 months
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
No. Funny thing is prior to my meeting her, we had a standing rule in my house that no one was to bring home someone from a different race. They were to be white. Mom’s an old proper yankee who grew up in a home of aristocratic tradition, but without the money. People of a different race were “the help.” When I introduced my soon-to-be wife, everyone was smiles.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I don’t think much of it. She’s about the nicest and sweetest person I’ve ever met and she enjoys taking good care of me (and I her). We have discussions that last hours about any subject you can think of. Her race matters little to me – what is important, though, is that we both come from the same culture. Although she’s 100% hispanic, we both grew up in a city and have similar views on things.
The part that is interesting is that she was raised 7th-day Adventist (nowadays, somewhat devout) and I am an Athiest.
Quite. I’m Muslim and the SO is not, thus I don’t eat bacon. I never asked him to not eat bacon but he decided of his own volition not to. And well it works for us.
Sub-poll: Raise your hands if you’ve had the cousin/brother say
“Say this to your SO’s mother: ______, it means ‘hello’ in her language”
What are you and what race is he/she?
I,m a white USer (half English, half Russian) and wife is Japanese from Kyoto.
How long have you been together?
Married 55 years last December.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My mother was sort of OK, but being of that generation, never had met a Japanese person in all her life. Once we got back Stateside and she met my wife, they got along just fine.
My father (my parents were divorced when I was 5) was polite, but very patronising. As we were never close, it made no difference to me, and it rolled off her back too.
Her family was definitely non-traditional, and after they got over the shock, we all got along very well. Actually, one of her sisters married a capitalist, the other married a Communist (he was an asshole, regardless of his politics, and they soon got divorced), so I guess by the time we married, they had just given up.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
After all this time, never think about it. When I was in Japan, it was a bit embarrassing for my wife, but once in the US, she never had any problems or trouble at all. Back in the US in 1951, I drove across the South from California to New York, and had some concerns about motels and restaurants, but never one problem.
Settled in New England where she was quite a novelty, but no problem being accepted.
Our three kids, growning up in upstate New York, did have some issues, although there was no blatant racism exhibited. They all worked it out and are now successful and content in their skins.
This is weird, wrote out a reply, but after Previewing it, and then saving it, it vanished somewhere in cyber-cyber-space. I give up.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Black/Japanese and he’s Mexican.
How long have you been together?
A bit over 4 years (unmarried).
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Not really, and if so, not based on race Maybe it helps that we are the same color; I’m not sure. I think that my (black) dad might have had a small problem with it if he had been white (he’s a little old fashioned), but I don’t know if he would have voiced it or not. (I’ve dated white guys before, but this has been the first relationship he’s been really aware of).
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I think it’s pretty cool. Before we were together I knew very little about Mexican culture, but his family is much more traditional than mine (well, half-traditional and half neo-hippie) and I’m learning a great deal. They’ve totally welcomed me into their family, wonderful for me but bad for my weight (ooh chalupas!). I don’t fear loss of my own cultural identity in being with them or for potential kids - we’ve discussed it and we’re both going to do what we can to give kids as much info and exposure as we can from both sides. They speak Spanish fluently, my mom is fluent but I speak Japanese half-fluently - hopefully it’ll be better by time kids come along, if they do. I think bi/trilingual kids are awesome. There’s no particular modern precedent for our races not to get along, and neither immediate family is religious, so I’m sure that helps. I’m really curious to see what our kids would look like.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m white, American from French/German decent.
She’s South Korean.
How long have you been together?
Two years. Married 18 months.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
One aunt on her side. But that was more of a “She’s too young” thing than a “He’s too white” thing.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
It’s trivial. I dont ever really think too deeply about it. We tease each other with stereotypes all the time and mess around like that. But that’s about it. Our races are not the defining characteristic of our marriage.