I know we’ve had a similar thread about a year ago, but I think enough time has elapsed and my questions are different enough to warrant a new thread. So even if you’ve answered the questions in the prior thread, feel free to answer these as well.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Asian (Korean) and she’s biracial, half Irish American and half African American.
How long have you been together?
Two years and a half-ish.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
When I first told my mother, she asked me “so she’s dark?” and I said she was and her reaction was “and you like that?” which can be seen as horribly racist, but she’s not actively opposed to the relationship. Can’t say how she would feel about marriage, but she still refers to her as my “friend”. Her father doesn’t seem too thrilled about me, but I have no reason to believe it’s because of race. Maybe my not being American contributes.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I think it’s kind of novel, since our combination is pretty rare. But I do worry (somewhat) that if we were to get married and have children, they would completely abandon their Korean heritage, which is something that is important to me. Especially since I’m the 장손 (jang son) of my family, which means I’m the oldest son of the oldest son etc., leaving me responsible for keeping family traditions alive and attending to family functions. Which I don’t know how I’m going to do since I don’t plan to settle in S. Korea where all my family is… But that’s a whole another story.
What are you and what race is he/she?
We were both born in Australia but my parents are Chinese and his parents are English/Scottish/Welsh and I think there’s a smidge of Irish in there too.
How long have you been together?
A month and a bit shy of 7 years.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Not really. Asian girl/Caucasian guy is probably one of the most common interracial pairings so nobody even bats an eye.
His father goes to China a lot for business, loves everything Chinese, and has been learning Mandarin for almost 10 years. So no problems from him at all. Over the years I’ve heard some Asian guy friends complain that a lot of Asian women are going out with Caucasian men, but they were just general comments and not directed at me.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
It’s not an issue at all. My Mandarin is passable at best, and I don’t have a lot of links to Chinese culture (in fact there’s a lot about it that I resent, including my mother’s duty to work hard so she can send money back to her freeloading relatives in China :rolleyes: ).
No plans to have kids but if we did they would be raised as Australians and I doubt we’d even bother teaching them Mandarin.
What are you and what race is he/she?
She’s American-born Japanese and I’m white
How long have you been together?
We’ve been married 26 years
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Her side of the family was okay with it (she wasn’t the first to marry a white). My grandparents were opposed to it, one of my sisters initially expressed some misgivings – not about the marriage, but about the prospect of bi-racial kids. If my parents had a problem with it, they were smart enough to keep quiet about it.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I don’t have any feelings about it anymore. She grew up in a Midwestern suburb. I grew up in a Midwestern suburb. There’s an Eastern influence in her taste in food and art, and that’s about all the ethnic issues that remain in our relationship.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Caucasian and my husband is West Indian (his grandparents immigrated there from India)
How long have you been together?
Almost ten years (married 7 of those years)
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Not really…his folks were more upset about me not being Catholic than anything else, which is amusing, since although my husband was raised culturally Catholic, he’s an atheist. For my family and friends, it was a non issue. Rarely will it even occur to them that we count as an interracial couple. When you say “Interracial Couple” in the South, 9 times out of 10 people are thinking Black/White. Once, my husband was speaking with a coworker at his office about interracial relationships. The girl (white) with whom he was speaking was quietly freaking out because a very nice young black man had been giving her attention. She was freaking out not because of her feelings on the matter (she liked him, too), but because she was unsure what her parents would think. My husband, in an effort to commiserate/offer support, said, “Well, you know, I am in an interracial relationship, and we’ve done just fine.” Young lady responds, “I thought your wife was white!?” How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
Like most everyone else, I forget we are an interracial couple. When I saw this thread, it didn’t even register (at first) that this would even apply to me.
I’ll be answering for both myself and my husband, Asimovian
What are you and what race is he/she?
He’s black, and I look white (I’m half-mexican)
How long have you been together?
We just had our 8th wedding anniversary
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
No one had any misgivings except that how young we were when we married. The only person who commented at all was my Aunt Stella. Very traditional, old-school mexican. She looked at a picture of Asimovian and said (rather hopefully), “So, he’s Puerto Rican?” :rolleyes: She really didn’t mean anything by it, I’m sure. The funny thing, though, is that he speaks spanish a million-billion times better than I do.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
Status? Well, he’s still black, and I’m still white and it’s really, REALLY a non-issue.
Having read how other people have responded to this question, I feel I should add that I’m still not entirely convinced that I care for chorizo, but her family only seems to eat it once or twice a year, and I’ve done OK for myself. I haven’t gotten her to try chitterlings yet, but there isn’t actually anyone left on my side of the family who cares for them enough to cook them (least of all, me), so I can’t quite call that an issue.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I am white and she is Filipino and Chinese.
How long have you been together?
Almost a year and a half.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Nobody on either side cares, as far as I can tell.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I like Asian girls. What can I say. I always have. I always will. I also like experiencing different cultures from my own, so it’s interesting to meet the people in her family. They have been uniformly kind and accepting of me, and they also have great food.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m a US-born Euro-mutt, she’s Japan-born Japanese.
How long have you been together?
Been together ten years, married five.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
On my side, my parents pretty much assumed I’d marry a Japanese woman from the day I got on the plane. They’re fine with it, as is everyone who’s voiced an opinion on it. Her family has been great to me, especially her mother. If any of them have misgivings, I don’t know about it. She does get embarrassed, however, when other mothers in our condo/neighborhood comment about how cool they think it is to have a foreign husband.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
Compared to all the concerns that come with moving overseas and living as a very visible minority in a foreign country, the interracial status of my relationship with my wife is probably furthest down on the list. If anything, the logistic problem of “my family is here, her family is there, how do we give everyone a fair share of the grandkid?” is a much bigger concern.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m a Mixed Latina, he’s Danish
How long have you been together?
11 years (spent one apart when we broke up and then got back together about 4 years ago). We will have been married for 4 yrs next month.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
None that I know of. His family has been great and so have been my family. I am a children of a mixed marriage, but here that seems to be the norm.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
We are more concerned about the cultural differences. Luckily we grew up in the time of mass communication, we have more in common than we are different. Our child is learning Spanish (my mother’s tongue), English (the language we speak at home) and Danish (her father’s language). We are trying to pass on to her the good things about our culture.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I am hispanic but an atypical example, physically and socially.
My husband is your classic nerdy white boy.
How long have you been together?
7 years with nearly 5 married. Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My aunt expressed the idea that I had “gone white”. My husband still has fantasies of strangling her, but so do most of my mother’s family members, so it’s very unifying. His family loves me, perhaps in part because I can’t bear children, perhaps because my culture is much more family-oriented than he has been and I drag him to see his folks whenever I can.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I rarely notice. We live in California and both my sisters married African-Americans, so my mom has the whole rainbow tribe thing going on with the grandkids/greatgrandkids, as my sister’s kids married Italian and Filapino.
The food at the family get-togethers is getting good!
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m a Hawaii-born Japanese-American, and he’s a blue-eyed, blond-haired white guy from Ohio.
How long have you been together?
Two and a half years.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
None that I’m aware of. My parents are happy that I’m happy. I think my mom may be living vicariously though me-- dating a Caucasian guy was a big deal for her generation. His parents are happy he’s found someone. I hear they have already discussed what our children will look like.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
It doesn’t really occur to either of us beyond a superficial level. I grew up surrounded by Asians and never really saw anyone with coloring like his up close before. So when we first got up close and personal, I spent a lot of time just studying him-- his skin tone, the color and texture of his hair, his eyes. Especially his eyes. It was all very new and fascinating and exciting to me. He’s always liked Asian girls but never dated one before me, so I imagine I was a novel experience for him, too.
Beyond that, it rarely comes up. I only think about the interracial thing when I imagine how our kids will turn out, or when I think of him nervously meeting my tiny Japanese grandmothers. The bigger differences are the cultural ones, but even those aren’t a big deal. He fell in love with Hawaii when we visited last fall. He already knew how to use chopsticks and loves Chinese food and sushi. There’s not much training left for me to do. Me, I’ve been to the Midwest a few times, so I know it’s not too scary once I get past the deep-fried cheese.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m biracial (Black/White). She’s Panamanian.
How long have you been together?
For-freaking-ever :). Seriously, about 17 years.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Mine? No, but being biracial myself pretty much precludes that kind of issue anyway. Hers? Yes. She has sisters who won’t talk to her, and she’s conveniently forgotten at certain family functions if it’s a possibility I will attend. It’s not that I’m biracial that’s the problem. It’s that I’m not Panamanian.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
It’s never been an issue within our relationship. We have the same ups and downs as pretty much any other couple. One thing I will say is I’ve had to learn to become comfortable acting assertively with her. Panamanian culture, from what I understand, prides (or at least expects) a higher level of machismo in men than American culture does. Panamanian women expect their men to be in control and make the relationship decisions. I’m not saying they want to be denigrated, belittled, or taken advantage of, far from it. Hooo-boy, let me tell ya. But the man is expected to be the captain and call the shots, or suffer a potential loss of respect, which would be the kiss of death for a relationship with possibly any Hispanic woman, but definitely a Panamanian.
…and having her teach me Spanish to where I can actually converse and be understood was a definite perq.
What are you and what race is he/she?
She’s white and he’s black, both American suburban
How long have you been together?
“Going out” about 15 months, working up to it, about five or six months before that, and being friends at various levels, several years, from junior high on.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My idiot brother(s) (I’m not so sure about the older one), but at least they have enough sense to shut up around daughter and boyfriend. My husband worries about cultural issues, but I think he’ll come around. Boyfriend’s mom is still waiting for him to start dating a black girl. Every so often daughter says, “Hismom still doesn’t like me.”
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I think in some ways daughter is amused by the fact that some people react to it. I know her uncles annoy her, but interracial is just something she is used to, among her friends and classmates.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m white, she’s half-Colombian, self-identifying as Latina.
How long have you been together?
Just passed the 9-year mark, almost 7 of them married.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
Not that anyone has said.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
The first girl I was ever attracted to enough that I just had to kiss her was black, so I feel just fine.
Strangling is so impersonal…I mean…when I could just rip her still beating heart from her chest and let her watch it twitch while she died…
Of course now that I know most of the family hates her any further comment on her part will most likely result in a sudden painful lesson in manners. I think I could happily spend a weekend in jail just to watch her smug little ass crumple in agony.
My stepmother made a rude comment WRT a prior hispanic GF she met but she has learned several lessons delivered by several family members over the years WRT to discouraging my appearances in town.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Chinese-Thai and American born, he’s half Puerto Rican, and half Irish/Scottish/English (but looks Asian to some people).
How long have you been together?
Two months shy of six and a half years.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My parents were absolutely against it at first. They only had stereotypes to go on before meeting him. But once they met him and saw that he was gasp! a good person, they were fine with him. Of course his ability to pass as Asian doesn’t hurt. That and he’s a programmer and will make a decent living to “take care of me”. His parents like me and can’t really say anything because they’re in a interracial relationship themselves. They had nothing but support for us from the beginning.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I think it’s fine. If he looked significantly different than I do, I might feel a bit weird due to “he’s too white” or “you’re with a Latino?”. I got a lot of looks when I had white boyfriends and I had the whole “don’t betray your people” drummed into my head when I was in Asian American studies classes, so I’m pretty annoyed with the whole thing. I just want someone who’s honorable and whose personality meshes with mine. It so happens he’s not Asian.
Wow. I read this and thought no I’ve just had a few interacial flings. Then I realized I was living with a Phillipino for 7 years. But some how I never thought of that as interacial. He was just that guy snoring on the other end of the bed .
So…7 years, no, no-one had misgivings. Althought my grandfather, being to much a European to have anything to say about Phillpinos, used to rib him about being (half) Italian.
As for the flings, well Marc was a long term fling. Black (whereas I’m practly see-though). About a year fling. Didn’t intoduce him to my family. Though I don’t see them having a problem. My mother was dating this guy from Nigeria for years.
I don’t think it’s a big deal. Or rather, no way it should be. Cultural differences can be difficult…though not insermountable (ok I KNOW that’s not spelled right). But race race is not that big a deal, unless you want it to be. We’re all Americans on this bus.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
His family’s been fine about it, as have my immediate family. My extended family still don’t know (although my mother’s been dropping huge hints to them), as we haven’t told them as their reactions may be rather old fashioned; one of my aunts has made comments in the past about “respecting and carrying on our traditions” etc… My parents love him to bits though, and that’s the main thing.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I honestly don’t give it a second thought; there are some cultural differences, but they’re fairly minor I think, and we seem to get round the religious differences with a minimum of fuss, so its all good.
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Italian and she’s Chinese.
How long have you been together?
A bit above five years, living together and then married.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My mother was not very happy, not because of any racist feeling but because she felt that two people in love would do better if they shared the same cultural background. My father didn’t say much because he feels that while everyone is entitled to their opinion, not everyone is allowed to blab. I know he more or less agreed with my mom, and he quoted to me the old adage, “Choose cows and brides from your country”. But they now really like Mrs Aruns once they saw we were serious.
Mrs Aruns’ mother was definitely surprised but she was ok; it was her father that was really against it. Unfortunately he passed away before I could make him change his mind.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
White man and Chinese girl is quite a common match in the UK, and we never ever had any problem. Mrs Aruns tells me Italian men are considered quite a catch so we got lots of giggles from her friends!
What are you and what race is he/she?
I’m Asian (US-born of Chinese immigrants), she’s a mix of various European ethnicities mixed in NYC over the past 75 years (Dutch, Italian, German, Irish, Jewish).
How long have you been together?
Most of my life at this point (a scary thought). We started going out when I was 17 and I’m 36 now.
Any friends or family members from either side have/had misgivings about the relationship?
My parents definitely would have preferred I find a nice Chinese girl. But all the Chinese girls I went after as a young man were chasing after white boys (only half joking). By the time I started getting more interest from the field, so to speak, my wife (then girlfriend) had her hooks firmly attached to me.
How do you feel about the interracial status of your relationship?
I don’t think about it so much now. I did earlier, though. Like the OP I am considered to have certain family obligations (I’m my parents’ only child, never mind eldest son) and have always looked forward to being a parent, so as the relationship extended longer and longer I became more and more worried about whether or not I was “serious” about her. I’d hate to have become one of those jerks who hooks up with a girl for the best years of her life just to dump her for “marriage material” as we approached the big 3-0. On the other hand, I had to seriously consider the challenges of raising biracial children. Not the difficulties for me, but what kind of life I might be setting up for them, who were as yet unborn.
I think they’ve turned out fine so far. And I know every parent thinks their children are beautiful, but… they’re beautiful!
As for the “keeping up of traditions” thing, we live in Flushing, NY which is now a heavily Asian neighborhood (Chinese and Korean). I myself also grew up in this area, but when I was a boy I was pretty much the only Asian kid in my elementary school class until maybe 4th grade. Now the local elementary school is over 50% Asian. We live near my parents and see them several times a week, we go out to Chinese restaurants all the time, etc. My main disappointment is that they haven’t picked up very much of the language, but that’s frequently true even among those born of immigrant parents.
Me, I’ve been to the Midwest a few times, so I know it’s not too scary once I get past the deep-fried cheese.
