A poll: Who's being a jerk in this situation?

Wanted to get some thoughts about a social scenario. Names changed to protect the guilty. Let me know if you need more info to answer, but here’s the situation:

Brian and David are best friends. They work together, and see each other every day. They have a relationship wherein they tease each other a lot, always in good fun, like brothers.

Brian has a date this week and has decided to take her to a Broadway show. David also wants to see this show. Both men have one day off per week, the only night they can see this show. The show closes in four weeks.

Brian tells David he bought two tickets for the show this week, and David says then he’s going this week too. Brian would rather not deal with the possibility of David embarrassing him, and asks David to go next week instead. David refuses.

It’s a big theatre, and since the tickets are being bought separately there is no guarantee they will be seated close to each other. However, Brian is still apprehensive because David is so adamant about going the same week as him. David assures Brian he just really wants to see the show and will not do anything to embarrass him if he happens to see him there.

Is Brian overreacting, or is David being a jerk by not bowing out and going next week?

Brian’s overreacting.

Unless Brian has some reason to think David will go back on his word about not embarrassing him, I think Brian is overreacting. Chances are they will not end up with tickets the same night, and even if they do they probably won’t even run in to each other.

Ditto. Who cares what David does?

If the girl is going to end up dating Brian, she’s going to have to like David and the way they fool around all the time. Optimally, David should have his own date, or he’s being a third wheel, though. At the same time, I imagine the kind of gal that would like Brian is the kind of gal that would like the way Brian and David interact. Unless it’s a first date, it shouldn’t matter, IMHO. Then again, I’ve invited gals to hang out for the first time at a rugby social, so what do I know?

Brian is insane.

Broadway tickets are nonrefundable anyway, so if David already bought the tickets, he can’t do anything about it.

Brian sounds paranoid, IMHO, too.

Completely depends on how over the top the kidding gets. If David is socially clueless re boundaries then Brain might have a point. If David is not socially clueless and understands limits then Brian is being a bit of an ass.

There’s no determining who’s right here without lots of background on how these two actually behave IRL. Your scenario is too sketchy for any useful conclusion.

I think Brian is overreacting.

just how weird is this David guy? And what could he do to embarass brian? The whole scenario seems weird.

Brian overreacting.

Okay, thanks for the replies so far. Just a few more details, to help the situation become a little more clear, at least in the confines of trying to paint a relationship in a couple of paragraphs.

It is indeed a first date for Brian, with this particular girl.

David would indeed bring his girlfriend.

Brian has already bought his tickets; David has not. The whole “tickets are non-refundable” thing is moot. David is planning on buying his tickets the day of the show, which is very common. Brian’s beef is that he has already bought his tickets and David could go any other day.

And yes, they’re both insane.

It appears to me there’s some underlying sexual tensions between Brian and David that are the root of all these problems.

My take as well. Sounds like the beginning of some slash fiction setup.

Unless David has a history of deliberately being a jerk (not just “good natured teasing”, but actual “uncaring jerkiness”), then Brian is overreacting.

(bolding mine) Is this “then” as in, David’s going this week (rather than later) specifically because Brian is going this week? As is suggested by the following?

And each is going with a date, but the two couples are going separately, presumably not planning to meet either before or after the show?

If so, I’d like to know why David insists on going at the same time. And especially why he insists on that even after his best friend requested otherwise. That strikes me as weird, bizarre, even hostile. What the hell is wrong with David that he feels compelled to copycat his friend to the point of upsetting said friend? Somethin’ don’t sound right with that boy.

That’s exactly right, Gary T, all those points. David had already mentioned weeks ago that he wanted to go to the show, but it wasn’t until Brian said he bought tickets that David said he was going this week as well. Now, whether it’s a coincidence or David deliberately wants to go when his friend goes is anybody’s guess, since I’m closer to Brian than David. But I was in the room when it happened and David definitely said “Well then I’m going this week too.”

While I’ve got to wonder about how and why Brian might be embarassed by David (which may or may not reflect poorly on Brian, or on David), I’ve got to say it looks to me like David is acting the jerk.

I was in a similar situation once . . . Was in a very close working (and sometimes social) relationship that included a lot of mutual banter . . . then brought in my then-partner to do some freelance work. Said partner was not into that type of banter, and was uncomfortable with it at first . . . but eventually got used to it. No problem.

Oh come on, that’s crazy talk.

I have a close friend that I love like a brother. And like brothers we’ve always been competitive of each other.

I remember once when we we’re much younger; Me, a girl who I’d just met and my friend all went bar hopping together. This was supposed to be my first date with said girl. Over the course of the night it became very apparent to me that said girl was becoming increasingly enamored with my friend. The bitch even started flirting with him right there in front of me! My friend never acted on it because, well, he’s true blue.

But man was that ever a strike to my ego.

The problem with our competitive nature towards women is (Try to remember we were young back then.) I was better looking; He had the more lovable personality.

This was the hell I had to go through when we were younger. I could reel the ladies in with ease only except it wouldn’t take long for these women to shift their interest from me to him.

I basically got to the point to where I wouldn’t bring new found women around him until I felt like I had my “hooks” in them. Then I would feel comfortable bringing them around.

We’re over all that shit now but from a younger man’s POV, I can definitely relate to what Brian is going through. (Assuming that’s the case)