Jeebus! How Fucking Dumb Are You?

The BBQ Pit
1

I have this friend who always has good looking chicks falling all over him, but he never realizes it, or if he does, he’s not interested. Right now, he’s got this hot chick after him. Not only is she good looking, but she’s well educated, and (as a bonus) she’s rich! Once he related to me a story about when he was helping her with her website and he pointed out to her that there was a lot of personal info on her site and that an unsavory character wouldn’t have too much trouble tracking her down. Her response? “You can’t rape the willing.” What did he do? He went home!

Last week, she invited him to go with her to NYC (on her nickel). He didn’t go with her, because he was “busy.” Tonight, he sends me this email

GAH!!! It’s been ages since I’ve had a chick as hot as her even remotely interested in me, and this bastard’s like, “I don’t know, is she mad at me? I don’t know why you think she’s so hot for me. She’s really not my type.”

Lest you think, well, Tuck, if she’s not his type, then she’s not his type, the simple fact of the matter is: No woman is his type! He doesn’t understand women at all, and even when women he considers to be “his type” come to the door naked he doesn’t grasp the fact that they want him to slip them the salami.

A mutual friend, who’s gay, thinks he’s a closet case, but he says, “We don’t want him, man.”

I keep trying to get him to introduce me to this gal, figuring that if worse comes to worse, she’ll bang me, in hopes of getting him jealous, but the craven bastard won’t do it!

2

[Unsavory Character] So, what’s her website? [/Unsavory Character]

Enjoy,
Steven

3

Maybe he’s just not interested in women period.

Always a possibility.

4

True. I suppose the best follow-up question is has he ever been in a heterosexual relationship?

5

Tuckerfan, you say that he does not understand women at all. Is it possible that he really doesn’t understand communication and subtext, and he really can’t tell whether women are interested in him? Is he otherwise socially skilled–small talk, personal mannerisms, all that stuff?

If he’s just not interested, well, I understand the frustration… here’s a man throwing away the precious waters given to him, that most men labour so hard to obtain…

6

Why are you worried about his social life?

7

He lacks the fundamental understanding of what it takes to be in a relationship, and he always whines about not having a girlfriend. If he’s gay, he’s a repressed homosexual.

To give you an idea of how out of touch he is with reality, he once suggested to me that he thought it would be a good idea i he ever got married that he and his wife had seperate bedrooms. :smack:

I’ve even tried explaining to him that if a woman comes to her door naked, that she , in fact, wants you to bone the hell out of her, and his response is, “No. I’m just early.”

8

People who are commitment-phobes manifest their self-sabotaging behaviour in a lot of different ways I’ve found. They look for all the tiniest faults to rationalise their fears etc.

I recall once being offered to join one of the most beautiful women I’ve met for a weekend away in Sydney for some super duper swank social ball. She made it very clear she was ready to take that next step in our relationship. I turned her down. Not, however, because I was afraid of commitment but rather, the swank social ball was for a bunch of tossers which I had no interest in thank you very much.

So, there you have two sides of the coin. Perhaps your friend is a scaredy-cat, perhaps he merely feels that being treated a weekend for free to New York isn’t his cup of tea.

Personally, I prefer character before wealth. And a beautiful woman with loads of character is as good as it gets as far as I’m concerned. She could be broke and I’d still find her gorgeous. But is it possible for a beautiful woman with loads of character to also be rich? Certainly, but her social circle tends to be a rarified one I’ve found. Not one which I innately feel comfy in. Perhaps your friend is also like me on that score too?

Or perhaps he’s just a dumb fuck… :smiley:

9

Say rather a feckless fuckless.

10

Oh my.

I’ve been there. I was trapped in the prison of my own mind. It was literally unimaginable to me that anyone could really be interested in me. I also had no idea what an adult one-to-one emotional relationship might involve. (And I whined, too.)

It took me a LONG time–around 15 years–and much assisstance to learn my way out of it. I’d almost suggest a clue-by-four, but I’m not sure that it would help at this stage.

11

Hell, your friend’s had his chance. Send her my way! :wink: :stuck_out_tongue:

12

As a minor side-note, I don’t think it’s particularly shocking for a married couple to maintain separate bedrooms, especially if both partners work and may be on different schedules. So long as conjugal visits and sleepovers are comfortably frequent (wherever that comfort level is for that particular couple), what’s the problem?

13

He’s probably gay. Is he Catholic? Then he’s gay.

Anecdotally, every time I meet a “straight” guy who dings my gaydar, he’s struggling with churchy issues. The church tells him to suppress his homosexual tendencies, so he struggles to stay in the closet. This is my theory for why there are so many gay priests: a committed Catholic who discovers gay urges in himself must try so dang hard to adhere to the church’s rules that he ends up almost incidentally becoming a priest.

If he’s not Catholic, he may still be gay of course. Not to mention vice versa. There are of course other relgious rigidities that can manifest the same behavior in closted gays; I probly just know more Catholics. Anecdotally.

14

Start calling him Jughead, see if he picks up on it.

15

Sounds a lot like me before I came out of the closet. Well, except I never had anyone rich throw themselves at me. When you’re repressing your true self, it’s easy to subconciously intentionally miss clues someone is interested in you. It’s so much simpler to be alone and complain about not being able to find the right woman when you’re really wanting the right man.

16

I was absolutely terrible at reading signals, and I’m probably not much better now. This guy could be the same, but probably worse. Girls whom I finally dated told me they practically wrote “Revtim, ask me out!” on their forehead with a Sharpie, and I was oblivious.

17

I was going to say, “Dude. Harsh.” But…

The stupid… it burns!!!

18

You owe me for having to clean coffee out of my kepyboard.

Shit, now the space bar is going to stick again.

19

Are you guys reading the same thread I am - the guy is a fucking genius. He is expending no energy, taking no risks and she lusts for him more each day. He has reversed the battle of the sexes…he should be our god

20

Unless he strikes out…then he’s gay.