Have a great flight, you insensitive shit

The BBQ Pit
1

So for the last couple of months, I’ve been planning a train trip with my best friend over Christmas break. He has to go back to university and I have relatives in the same province, so it all would have worked out beautifully. So a few minutes ago, I ask him which train station he wishes to depart from.

He proceeds to tell me that his mother has already booked his plane tickets home and back because he hadn’t talked to me in a while and his mom would have gotten “pissed” if he’d asked her to wait until he checked with me. He didn’t bother to mention to her that he had already told me he would travel with me. He didn’t send me an email or call me to tell me that I could book the ticket I’ve been waiting 3 weeks to book because he didn’t know his exam schedule. He didn’t bother to mention this to me at the start of the conversation, because clearly he can’t be bothered with letting his friends back home know what plans he’s ruined because he’s such a selfish fucking idiot.

He offers a “sorry” and tells me that he’s so stressed and to please not lecture him on how irresponsible he is. Fuck you, asshat. I don’t give a shit. You’re stressed? You have four classes a week and you’re majoring in theatre. I haven’t heard your goddamn voice since August. This trip was the highlight of my vacation, and you didn’t even think of me when you blithely let your fucking mother reserve your goddamn plane ticket. And in case anyone was wondering, the plane ticket cannot be cancelled because his mother would be just too “pissed” at him.

Here’s to you, fucker. I hope you have a fabulous flight. I will still take my trip and I will enjoy the ride. Make some more plans with me, I dare you. You’ll find that I “forget” to tell you when I go with someone who actually cares how I feel.

2

He blew you off. He didn’t want to take the trip with you, and didn’t know how to tell you, so he ignored you instead. I’m sorry to have to say it, but that’s what happened. It may be time to seriously re-examine your friendship.

3

Much as I don’t want to believe you, you’re probably right. I didn’t want this to happen.

4

Um…be glad you’re not travelling with him. He does not sound like a great companion for travelling to me.

hope you have a nice trip.

5

See, that’s just the thing. He is a great travelling companion and we would have had a blast. I don’t know why he’s behaved this way. I’ll stay in denial for a little while longer and pretend he still cares.

6

Now, this is by no means an excuse for him, but is he working on a show right now?

When I was going to school majoring in Theatre during busy production times I was at school from 8:30am till 11:00pm. Then I had homework. I can see how he could be stressed. But again that does not make what he did OK.

Sorry it’s just a pet peeve of mine when people assume that Theatre is a breeze. I have had many jobs over the years and the Theatrical ones have been the hardest, but most enjoyable.

7

[QUOTE=Pseudopod]
He offers a “sorry” and tells me that he’s so stressed and to please not lecture him on how irresponsible he is.
[/QUOTE]

I had a friend in college who was like that. . . she’d flake out on you, and then immediatly turn on you and get angry because you were upset at her for doing so. “I just can’t handle you making me feel guilty right now!”

8

Well, after three months of no contact, I might have done the same thing. Especially if the trip wasn’t really my idea but more yours.

Did you try contacting him before all this, just to see if he was still on-board? I’m not blaming you, but I totally think maybe that’s why he let it slip his mind. Maybe he was waiting for the plans to be solidified and when you didn’t make the first move, he went with the easier route: letting his mom pick up his travel expenses. He should have emailed you, though. That was rude.

Maybe his life is majorly stressful. You haven’t talked to him in awhile. Maybe there’s a reason, besides him just being selfish and mean? When you cool off, you should try to figure out what’s happening.

I’m sorry your plans are messed-up. But it could be worse. You could have already made reservations.

9

Dude, he’s just not that into you.

10

[QUOTE=monstro]
Well, after three months of no contact, I might have done the same thing. Especially if the trip wasn’t really my idea but more yours.
[/QUOTE]

It sounded to me like 3 months since speaking on the phone/in person (“I haven’t heard your goddamn voice since August.”), but that they’d contacted each other since then via E-mail or something since the planning had been for the last couple months. I could be wrong, though.

11

You’re a theatre major too, right?
It’s not like you guys were actually taking a vacation together, just riding the train to a shared destination. He got the chance to cut out a lot of time and all the expense of the trip and he took it. Seriously, you haven’t heard his voice since August and no emails in 3 weeks but you guys are best buds? Meh, I would suggest this isn’t that big a deal. He should have let you know earlier but I certainly wouldn’t sit around fantasizing of the time he invites you somewhere so’s you can stand him up in revenge.

12

[QUOTE=Pseudopod]
He proceeds to tell me that his mother has already booked his plane tickets home and back because he hadn’t talked to me in a while and his mom would have gotten “pissed” if he’d asked her to wait until he checked with me. He didn’t bother to mention to her that he had already told me he would travel with me.
[/QUOTE]

I’m wondering whether someone has some major maternal issues, and is more afraid of contradicting his mother than he is of disappointing you.

13

[QUOTE=PoorYorick]
I’m wondering whether someone has some major maternal issues, and is more afraid of contradicting his mother than he is of disappointing you.
[/QUOTE]
Same here.

14

Do you look middle eastern? Maybe he’s scared your gonna be watched by security and they’ll catch him with whatever illegal thing he’s carrying on.

15

The Buck, I see that you’re new here. Please review our Forum Rules. Posting an inflammatory and inappropriate comment - trolling - as you’ve done here is against the rules.

Do not do this again.

fluiddruid
for the SDMB

16

Would it be too dull to take the train journey on your own? It could still be worth it, just for the experience. Though I realize that, if this is Amtrak and you were expecting to go halves on a sleeping compartment, you won’t be able to that, and the whole trip will now cost you nearly as much as it would have for both of you, assuming you still want the sleeper.

17

[QUOTE=Spectre of Pithecanthropus]
Would it be too dull to take the train journey on your own? It could still be worth it, just for the experience. Though I realize that, if this is Amtrak and you were expecting to go halves on a sleeping compartment, you won’t be able to that, and the whole trip will now cost you nearly as much as it would have for both of you, assuming you still want the sleeper.
[/QUOTE]

Oops, I see now where you said “province”–must be Canada and VIA rail.

I don’t have any experience with VIA, but from what I’ve seen of Canada, and the American PNW, I would still definitely want to go. What parts of the country would you be traveling through?

18

[QUOTE=PoorYorick]

I’m wondering whether someone has some major maternal issues, and is more afraid of contradicting his mother than he is of disappointing you.
[/QUOTE]
Sounds more like a lame excuse to me.

19

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Some clarification:

[QUOTE=monstro]
Well, after three months of no contact, I might have done the same thing. Especially if the trip wasn’t really my idea but more yours.

Did you try contacting him before all this, just to see if he was still on-board? I’m not blaming you, but I totally think maybe that’s why he let it slip his mind. Maybe he was waiting for the plans to be solidified and when you didn’t make the first move, he went with the easier route: letting his mom pick up his travel expenses. He should have emailed you, though. That was rude.

Maybe his life is majorly stressful. You haven’t talked to him in awhile. Maybe there’s a reason, besides him just being selfish and mean? When you cool off, you should try to figure out what’s happening.

I’m sorry your plans are messed-up. But it could be worse. You could have already made reservations.
[/QUOTE]

It was my idea to travel together, but I really thought he was enthusiastic. Any time I mentioned it, he seemed receptive, just unsure of when he would be leaving. His mom would have paid if he had traveled with me, so it wasn’t a money issue. Oh, and we haven’t not spoken for three weeks, we talk a lot on MSN but we hadn’t spoken in a bit because I was away. Not a long time, maybe a week and a half.

[QUOTE=CarnalK]
You’re a theatre major too, right?
It’s not like you guys were actually taking a vacation together, just riding the train to a shared destination. He got the chance to cut out a lot of time and all the expense of the trip and he took it. Seriously, you haven’t heard his voice since August and no emails in 3 weeks but you guys are best buds? Meh, I would suggest this isn’t that big a deal. He should have let you know earlier but I certainly wouldn’t sit around fantasizing of the time he invites you somewhere so’s you can stand him up in revenge.
[/QUOTE]

No, I’m still in high school. The train ride is cheaper, although it takes… oh, maybe 17 more hours. But we’re good friends (even though you think it’s a bit iffy :slight_smile: ), and it would have been fun. I’m not really fantasiziong about standing him up, I do still love him. And I know theatre is hard work, I was just a bit… incensed last night. As far as I know, he’s not doing a show at the moment

[QUOTE=PoorYorick]
I’m wondering whether someone has some major maternal issues, and is more afraid of contradicting his mother than he is of disappointing you.
[/QUOTE]

Yes! That’s pretty much it. He lets his mother control his life. I would love to see him do something without thinking of getting permission, but he hasn’t quite moved in yet.

The reason I’m so mad is that he blew me off because he’s away from home, has all kinds of new friends and just didn’t think of me, whereas I do not get close to others easily and dislike the friends from our old crew that I still feel obligated to hang out with. I have dozens of buddies but no real friends except him. I’m not a loner, not at all, but he knows me, you know? But he’s forgotten about me. Sorry for the demented rambling. I must sound like a stalker.

20

Not really, at least not coupled with the news that you are still in high school. Now you just sound painfully young, and idealistic. If your friend is the same age you are, not being able to make decisions without consulting his mother is not as big an issue as it might be at an older age. (this isn’t to say that his mother might not be a “helicopter parent” who needs to back off in her own right, just to question how much independence one should expect from someone so young.)