Dear City of Chicago:
I will warn you once, and I will warn you thusly:
Do not pre-empt 24 tonight. DO NOT DO IT. I don’t give a fucking iguana’s throat fan what the early mayoral election returns are. There’s nothing you can tell me between eight and nine that you can’t tell me at 9:01.
Do not SHRINK THE SCREEN TO RUN A SCROLL.
Do NOT break in and ‘join 24 already in progress’
Do not do it Channel 32. DO NOT.
SHE HULK NO WANT 24 PRE-EMPTED. PRE-EMPTIONS FOR ELECTION RETURNS MAKE SHE HULK ANGRY.