A question for military veterans: thank you

Foreign correspondents, State Department employees, overseas contractors, people who work in refugee camps, Doctors Without Borders, AID personnel, WHO personnel, missionaries, Peace Corps volunteers, and I’m sure a host of others. None of these people carry weapons or travel in organized armed convoys, and they risk their lives on a daily basis. Yet nobody seems to feel the urge to thank these people or to accord them any special compensation, though they certainly deserve at least some gratitude for doing dangerous jobs under often horrifying conditions.

The only time anybody has said the dreaded phrase to me is when I’ve needed to show my ID card to prove that I’m retired military. Also, it’s happened on this board.

Vietnam vet here. It is probably a bit strong to say it annoys me, but I sometimes I think the person doesn’t know what they are doing when they are saying, “Thank you.” Often it seems more like they are just doing something someone told them to do.

Look I don’t want to go all political, but I was drafted. I went were I was told, did what I was supposed to do for no reason I completely agreed with. “Thank you,” really doesn’t match up with that in my mind.

It’s been 40 years now, (God, I’m getting old) and the whole thing is still not clear. Probably should be, but it isn’t, and “Thank you,” doesn’t help me. It may salve the speakers ego, it may make some politician feel all good, but me, I just repeat, “Hey, don’t thank me. I was drafted.”

Iraq vet here. Definitely annoys me, but only because I can’t think of anything to say back. “You’re welcome”? I didn’t do it for you. “No problem”? But it was a very big problem. “Don’t sweat it”? You weren’t sweating it to begin with.

Just say you appreciate military service. It doesn’t force me to come up with a nonsensical, awkward reply and it doesn’t single me out as being special.

People at the VA say it constantly, like they’re told to. I think it’s stupid.

This. It always feels like they’re saying “look how patriotic and humble I am.” And then I have to say… what? “You’re welcome?” I have to accept personal payment on a public debt and it just feels weird.

I served 1980-1993. Technically I’m a veteran of the first Gulf War, but I was never there. I served during that time - like most, I think, who served then. If someone thanks me, I politely thank them back and move on. Also, I think (a guess only) that people who were drafted feel differently from those who served voluntarily. I know I would.

Loach, thanks for that link. It’s amazing how some people lie.

Iraq vet: I just say, “yeah, it had its moments” then change the subject.

I deployed, saw more of that country than anyone would ever want to, but I always felt guilty. I had easy deployments. People I knew didn’t die until after I got out. Things could have been a lot worse. Instead of saying “thank you” I wish this country did more for its vets (as shown in my “Support the troops my ass” thread a few months ago).

That bugs me too. I think it’s part of their “canned speech” that the leadership makes them say. This is very similar to the script at my job makes us say stuff like "I really thank you for calling and that’s a great thing to say but I have to … " (and continue with the rest of the script). My opinion is that the leadership thinks it is a great thing to say and makes the veteran/customer/client feel respected, but when I hear it said to me, it just sounds like a canned response and fake. I’d rather not hear it. Just ask me what I want you to do for me (as part of your job and why I walked in here) and let’s get on with the business at hand.

Thanking vets does bug me when it’s out of the blue (I don’t normally wear military gear nowadays, but I do have vet plates (state issued) and military stickers on my vehicle) but I usually just acknowledge it politely and then move on. When folks press with questions, my pat answer is “I’ve had a little sand in my boots” and go back to the conversation as normal. This usually bugs me the most when it comes up during a job interview, although I guess it shouldn’t. There’s several reasons for that, but I’ll admit, I’m not above taking advantage of that extra consideration in my favor in this economy if it will get me hired above the average joe.

Navy '88-'92. Did spend awhile in the Persian gulf before the pre game warm up over Kuwait. And that’s how I feel about it, the guys with “sand in their boots” I respect and will always say so vet to vet. And leave it at that. I know and they know. The average mook off the steet, the twice maybe three times somebody said something to me after it came up in conversation that I was a vet, and thanked me, I felt really akward.

At my high school reunion a couple of few people said something. That was all right with me. The handfull of us that joined after high school being aknowledged by people we knew, other kids we grew up with, now adults seeing the paths not taken, felt different. Random strangers, not so much.

Navy 1992-2012. Whenever someone does that on the street, I thank them back. After all, the American taxpayers provided my paycheck, my retirement check, and my medical insurance. I try to leave it there, as anything beyond that gets uncomfortable.
I still work on a naval installation as a contractor. I usually use my retired ID to gain entry in the morning, because sometimes contractors have issues at the gate. Better than 50% of the time, the guards thank me for my service. This really bothers me, because these are active duty personnel thanking me. I almost want to stop and lecture the gateguard that my service is complete, but he or she is still serving, and deserves far more thanks than me. I know that they have been instructed to dothis, so I bite my tongue. It still irks me.

I get thanked regularly. It used to make me REALLY uncomfortable, until I realized people are not generally thanking me, personally. They are thanking the people that have sacrificed.

So I usually say, “I’m happy to serve”