Veterans: The moment when you return.

In My Humble Opinion
1

Last Monday night into Tuesday morning, I stood at the International Arrivals area at B.W.I. airport. My son and his wife are both active duty US Air Force. They were returning for leave and bringing our insanely wonderful 6 month-old grandson with them.

A wonderful volunteer group, Operation Welcome Home Maryland was there. 4 volunteers ( perhaps 5, not sure ) were there. Ready with water and a few other items in plastic bags, and to encourage one and all awaiting the arrival of loved ones, they asked us to applaud all personnel coming off of the flight. This was a direct flight from Ramstein AFB in Germany.

The first handful of over 270 passengers all came out with their Storm/Pelican weapon cases on their luggage carts. Copiously padlocked ( 2…3…5… locks… + one yellow ID tag in place to prove seal ). These folks were all in fatigues, as they should be since they were returning from deployment. In most cases, the gear and weapon cases as well as fatigues were pretty dusty and grimy.

Each person, as we were asked to do, was given a round of applause as they emerged from the automatic double doors.

Some smiled and thanked us. Many were utterly blank.

As this unfolded, and we stood for 3 hours before my family emerged and most passengers had not yet emerged, I started to feel uncomfortable with the applause. So many folks were emerging not only jet-lagged but appearing to be just deeply tired. And …and what else? I don’t know.

So I’m asking. Did you return from deployment to applause, or any kind of public celebration right there at the airport as you emerged, and how did it go? What did you feel as you were greeted as such?

To be clear, I was very proud to be there and thanking the strangers emerging. But the vibe, it was deeply troubling. Hence this O.P.

Vets who have returned or family that has met them, thoughts?

And thank you so much for your service to our country.

2

As a Vet, I find it embarrassing when people thank me for my service. I mean, I’m gracious about it, but its still embarrassing. However, I do know that some people really do enjoy being thanked. Someone who wears Vet gear probably wants to be thanked. Someone who just happens to drop it in conversation probably doesn’t. Just MHO.

As to the folks coming off the plane…I think that was a lovely thing to do, and the folks who looked blank might have just been zoned by everything that happened. (I know that plane flights tend to zone me out.)

3

Yeah, being thanked always makes me feel awkward. Like, what do I say? “You’re welcome”? “No problem”? “I couldn’t get into college.”

I usually go with OhyeahnoproblemI’mgoingtochangethesubjectnow.

4

Came back from Vietnam to no applause, and I think it’s a stupid practice, ranking right down there with applauding someone in uniform as he walks down the plane aisle to his seat. Also, “thank you for your service” has become a meaningless and annoying cliche. People still say that to me on the rare occasions that I have to show my retired ID. I don’t reply to it.

5

When I returned from Korea, in 1977, I was in uniform, and my husband(ex ) and my family were waiting. I leaped into his arms, then the family, and that was it. No special notice was taken, it wasn’t a military flight. But I didn’t expect any notice and would have been uncomfortable with it. It wouldn’t be my thing. However, that’s just me and I don’t mind it if it’s given to others.

6

My bolding.

So… what are the Regs? Do they differ by branch of service? These were men and women ranking from Airman with 2 stripes to Major. Is one required to wear fatigues when traveling back from deployment? And if so, then they’re wearing Vet gear by Regs and not by choice. ( And, perhaps the only clothing they HAD on deployment was fatigues? ) If this is the case, it’s hardly an attention-getting technique because they want applause. They have zero choice.

How does this work?

7

Yeah, what do you say? Very awkward. I usually try to get the conversation back on track. Oh, your welcome, anyhow, when I was stationed in Okinawa…

Actually, I was talking about people who wear hats or t-shirts, or as bikers often do, wear a service medal on their vests.

You might not have seen the service medals on biker vests, but I know that you must have seen people wearing hats that say something like “Vietnam Vet” or t-shirts that say USMC.

8

Oooooooooh. These were people in one of 4 categories on this flight, and no others:

  • Returning from active deployment in the Middle East, processed through Ramstein.
  • Returning from duty AT Ramstein
  • Contractor non-service employees working at Ramstein
  • Family of active duty service members station at Ramstein.

No t shirts, no bikers… just folks in fatigues. That is who I was asking about when I asked if this idea of applause and a volunteer based ceremony is okay or off-putting.

I NEVER know what to say to people I see on the street wearing their service medals.

9

I am sorry for hijacking your question. When I think of Vets, I think of people who are no longer serving. When I think of people who are serving, they are “Active Service Vets”. Again, I’m sorry for misunderstanding.

10

The Maine Troop Greeters have an incredible collection of challenge coins at the airport in Bangor. The collection is in the many thousands of coins. They told me they have more coins than available space to display them.

I have been through there a few times and it always a very welcoming experience meeting them when returning home.

There is a quick video in this article worth watching.

11

I often wear a USMC styled baseball cap and it is awkward when most people come up to me and say thank you. The weirdest was when a family introduced me to their little kids as a hero…WTF?!

The kids were cool and we joked before I made a hasty advance to the rear.

I do like it when other Marines come up and say Semper Fi.

12

Oh, no need for apologies !! Ignorance being fought all around. NOW I’m wondering if I am supposed to even use the term “Veterans” regarding my son, his wife and anyone else who is Active Duty right now.

Are you a Veteran if you once served, or also if you’re currently serving??

13

If you’re serving, you’re a service member (or grotesquely spelled, a servicemember). If you’re out of the service, you’re a veteran, lowercase. It’s preferable to refer to the person still in service by their branch, i.e. a soldier, sailor, airman or marine. For example, if I were to address a stranger in, say, and airport, I’d say “Excuse me, airman.”
As for the welcome ceremony, it’s appreciated, but you have to understand that they are more than just tired. They’re 5 hours jetlagged and they probably haven’t seen a bed for over 24 hours. I know I was up for over 36 hours before I got to where I was going. When you say they were “utterly blank,” that’s why. They don’t want chips and soda; they want to sleep. And in any case, for most of them, you aren’t the people they want to see anyhow, so there’s no payoff to really stay awake for.

Now when my unit finally rolled into my hometown, THAT was exciting! We had a police escort, many dozens of bikers flanking us, a bunch of fire engines at every corner “saluting” with their hoses and sirens. And when the buses got parked, our family was there, waiting.
I can tell you from experience that there’s a reason Darryl Worley put the scenario in the first line of that song, and why it’s the first thing the homeless guy mentions as his “moment.” I don’t think I’ll ever have another experience like it.

14

This may be the case stateside. My son informed me shortly before he was transferred to Ramstein that as per new Regs, I was no longer to address mail/ packages to him as " Airman ManCub Cartooniverse ". The word “Airman” was to be removed from all mail items.

I asked why ( like a dumb civilian :smiley: ) and was told, " Because that is the new Regs. "

On the street, I couldn’t agree more. I see a Marine, I’d say “Excuse me, Marine”.

15

I don’t really find it embarrassing to be thanked for my service, but it doesn’t bother me if someone doesn’t say it.

16

This happened to me only once and I found it to be very awkward. The fellow thanking me had just met me. He knew nothing about my service beyond my mention that I’d been in the Navy. I don’t recall how I responded - probably something really awkward.

I’d never say it myself because, frankly, not every veteran deserves to be thanked. If we’re discussing your service and I’m impressed, I’ll express admiration. If you’re a real, honest-to-goodness hero, I’ll stand in awe. But thanks? I dunno - it seems artificial to thank a stranger just for enlisting. Military service is important, but no more than many other jobs/careers.

I served from '73-'84, never in a combat situation, and I never encountered anything beyond curious stares, being female in uniform and all that. I’d have been uncomfortable and embarrassed by anyone making a big fuss over me under any circumstances. And, as has been mentioned, coming off a plane from overseas, all I ever wanted was to go home and decompress.

17

“Hello, sailor” if you were greeting a stranger in a port?

18

As a multi tour combat vet myself I find these people tiresome and am generally embarrassed by them. Particularly the guys from the Vietnam era who put in a couple years stateside but go out of their way to make sure everyone knows that they are a veteran. I have particular sustain for the folks who get hats made with their ribbon rack on them.

I didn’t used to be that way but as time has gone on Ive grown tired of the woe is me but look at me mindset of a large portion of Vietnam vets. Not all but many. When I went to file my mandatory VA paperwork when I retired last year the place was full of V Vets trying to attach every ailment they’ve ever had to their short stint in Nam. It made me really uncomfortable to be there.

I just don’t remember WW2 vets behaving that way.

19

I met a woman a couple of years ago (friend of a friend). In the course of the conversation, it came out that I had retired from the military some 24 years ago. Somehow, it had also come out that I am type II diabetic. She promptly tells me that I should go to the VA and claim disability like her cousin did. It really offended me, and I told her that I thought that it would be a dishonorable thing to do, given that so many come back from war truly fucked up and in dire need of help. For people to clog up the system by trying to tie problems of their own making to their military service is reprehensible at the very least. The discussion abruptly changed direction, and she began harping on “all of those people taking handouts from the government”. :rolleyes:

20

BOY am I tempted to hijack my very own thread. Thanks for this post, Cubsfan.

FairyChatMom, they weren’t staring because you were any ole woman in uniform. They were staring because, well… you know. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: