I was just in a thread discussing what constitutes and adult and a thought came to me.
How many of you out there have ever gone home with someone still living at home with their parents, and did that ever make you think they were less of an adult because of it?
Just an informal survey but I’d really be fascinated by what others thought, especially if it were a case where one person was on their own and in a relationship (long or short term) with one who was not.
living withone’s parents while still young just means that the person is poor and cannot afford to pay for an apartment, house, or other lifestyle away form the folks and all of the extra bills that come with it.
living with one’s parents while older (about 30) means that they are: [a] lazy bums ** losers who can’t hold a job to save one’s life (b) people who can’t balance a checkbook or are spendthrifts [c] they are immature children who still feel the need to be constantly watched over and protected by their parents (d) all of the above
I wouldn’t go home with somebody living at their mama’s house! Not that I wouldn’t date them, or sleep with them (hey, I live at my mama’s house until that full-time job comes through for me) but would you people really have sex with somebody with their parents upstairs? Eww. Now, I mean, if they’re out, okay. But “out” means another state.
What’s wrong with living with your parents? Living with the extended family in the house is THE NORM in much of the world. Most Americans don’t even have access to much more than $1,000 dollars in savings. Consider, how much better off we might be if parents and kids shared their houses instead of having to build/find monuments to their own egos. Not to mention the greater family cohesiveness that might be fostered by such an arrangement. As for sex whats the big deal? How many bowel movements (we won’t even talk about mastubation moments) did you have with only a door to seperate you from your parents (and that smelled much worse than sex). As for noise I’ve yet been able to make my wife make enough noise to even cause the librarian in the Reference section of a library to glance in our direction during sex.
or E) an adult rational person living with aged arents so they can remain in their own home.
My brother moved in with our parents after he divorced his wife a few years ago until he could find his own apartment, but they realized it worked out well for them [they are both in their 80s] as they didnt need to find house or pet sitters when they traveled, and he does heavy yardwork and lifting that our parents cant do. He does have a girlfriend, but isnt really interested in getting remarried at this time…and my friend Lavendar lives with her wheelchair bound mother, and it works out well for them as well. Not all old folks should be packed off to a nursing home if there is family that can help out.
I wouldn’t care. I just turned 23 today but was still living with my mom and stepdad only 13 months ago. If I (and my boyfriend or girlfriend) were closer to 30 though, it might start feeling a little weird but still wouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
There are many other reasons why a person may be living with their parents over the age of thirty. Just because options A through E are the only ones YOU can think of doesn’t mean there are not other possibilities.
I once dated a guy who fell into the ‘living at home for the benefit of the parents’ camp, and while I admired him for being a good son and taking care of them it still made me feel like a giggly 16 year old if we made out on the couch while his folks were sleeping.
My fiance and I are both 19 and at university. So during the summer I live with my parents and he lives with his. I have no problem with staying over at his parents’. But if he was older and not in university I may think it was a little odd.
Well tell me if you think this is odd (because I do)
My (ex) boyfriend and I used to go to Texas to visit his aunt and uncle that lived there. Their son married a lady and they both moved in with his parents. So it’s like mom-dad-son-son’s wife all living together in the same house. The son has never lived out of the house before.
You are my long lost sister! I felt the same way when I dated a guy whose mother had moved in with him after she had some medical problems. I swear he’d lean over to kiss me and I’d think “but your mom could come in and catch us!”
One of my wife’s best friends still lives at home. She is also almost 32. She is college educated, fairly attractive, and has a very professional financial career. Somehow she never made the break. Her family is wealthy but her mother has 16 cats that she dotes over and has over 200, two foot tall dolls that she puts in poses all around the house. In parts some of the downstairs rooms, there are only narrow paths you can walk through because of all the dolls. That is just wrong and spooky. Not everyone has a legitmate justification for this type of thing.
It didn’t bother me too much when I was 27 and dating a 23 year old who lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents. When she decided that she wanted me there every night, I essentially moved in, although it was decided by her mom and her that we couldn’t let her dad know that.
So, we’d sit around and watch TV in the evenings while daddy-o got progressively drunker and poked me with his M-14 that he claimed he’d converted to full-auto. Then, when he seemed on the verge, I’d get up and pretend to go home. In the morning, the drill was that he had the bathroom first, and she and I would dash in there when he went to his bedroom to dress. He’d be gone by the time we emerged.
That lasted six months, and I was maintaining an apartment the whole time. When that deal cratered, going back to my apartment was like seeing a scene frozen in time. The coffee cup I’d been nursing and magazine I’d been reading when she drafted me were right there on the coffee table.
But, I digress. At times in our lives we’ll go to certain extremes for relationships, in particular, those that include sex.
Did I consider her an adult? For the purposes at hand, yes.