OK, I’ve noticed a good many people on these boards are living at home during their adult years. Most of them because they can’t afford to live alone.
Now, I’m wondering. What sort of hindrances go along with living with your parents at such a late age? There’s the social stigma of it, sure, but what else? Do you find it hard to date? Is life a pain in the ass living under someone else’s rules?
I’d like to hear some of the pros and cons of living at home in the adult years.
I’m 22 and until three months ago, I was still living with my parents.
Aside from our personal beliefs differing (I’m a bisexual atheist and they are Baptists… you figure it out 
), we got along fine for the most part. The only thing that really bothered me about living at home was that I still had chores like I was a child, that there was no alcohol allowed (I don’t drink much at all but I would like to at least be able to have something if I want it) and of course, the whole trying to figure out what to do in the chance that I had a girlfriend because there would have been no way I could do anything in my parents’ house.
Otherwise, the free food, cable, clothes washing, etc all outweighed the drawbacks. If it hadn’t been for a very bad argument between us, I would most likely still be there.
I’m 23 and still living at home. My parents and I get along extremely well. My dad and I don’t agree on politics, but we’ve agreed to disagree. My mom and I often have a cider when we get home from work. It’s allowed me to keep working in the lab where I get paid zilch but get wonderful experience rather than go get a job totally unrelated.
-Lil
I moved back home late last summer after graduating law school (at age 25). I didn’t have a job lined up and still had the Bar Exam to study for, so it was really my only option. I’m not expecting good Bar results, but it’s good to know I’m still welcome here until I get on my feet with my career (possibly after 3 MORE months of studying) or think of a better plan. I get along pretty well with my parents most of the time, help out around the house as much as I can, and cook meals whenever possible. They know I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to, and I know they don’t want me here forever, so we tolerate each other in the meantime. I don’t want to turn into George Costanza or a stereotypical “Comic Book Guy” geek-loser who lives with his parents interminably, so I’m trying really hard to get my life back on track.
Still, they are helping me with my student loan payments while I’m unemployed, I can come and go as I please, I can drink if I want to, and if I brought a girl home, they’d make themselves scarce. I don’t have as much privacy and space as I would like, but at least I do have my own room. That said, they do give me a hard time for staying up past midnight on the computer–they say I need to keep more normal hours.
I am 20 and married and living at home with my mother. My husband and I haven’t moved out simply because we can’t afford it. Between his carpayment, credit card bills, and paying for our school (I got to college full time, he goes half-time), we just don’t have much left. I only work part-time, and that really impedes the finances.
Hopefully we will be moving into an apartment soon, though. My mom will give us $200 a month so we won’t starve, and says we can always come back if we can’t make it.
The hardest part has been the lack of space and privacy. We have never lived alone together, it has always been with my mother, so we don’t know how we will really interact as a married couple.
I’m 20 and living at home. I get along really well with my parents, my mom especially. I moved out for a few months when I was 18, and realized how nice things are at home. I try to do things around the house to make life easier for my parents, and enjoy the fact that I don’t have to work full time. I’m going to school full time, so it’s alot less stressful, and instead of spending all my money on rent, I can invest it or travel.
My parents are laid back enough that it isn’t a problem. I pretty much come and go as I please, and I work such different hours than them, it’s expected. I don’t do drugs and I rarely drink so that’s not an issue.
I lived at home until late, for the reason cited in the OP. In retrospect I could have moved out sooner than I did by being willing to settle for less than a one-bedroom apartment.
The worst thing about living with your parents beyond a certain age is that you find yourself in a home which has not been arranged for your comfort, but rather your parents. Nothing wrong with that per se, but all the little details that go to give a home character have been chosen by your parents and not you. The arrangement and selection of the furniture, pictures on the wall, and so on. You miss out on the chance to express your own personally, except perhaps in your own room.
One friend of mine lived at home until he got married at 31, and then he and his wife moved into a house which they’d bought. It’s worked out well for them, but I would never have given up the chance to live alone for a while before getting married.
I live at home because I made some bad financial decisions that I am recovering from and am finishing up my degree. I lived away for 8 years when I first moved out.
It stinks now. I so very much wish for my own space, my own stuff, my own life. But I’ll make do for the next several months until I graduate and get a job.
If I don’t, I hear the Peace Corp is hiring.
I lived with my mom and dad until I was 24. I got along well with them. The only problems I ran into were getting to listen to my music as loud as I like to play it and having to limit the times I went online (this was back in 1994 when dial-up was the only option for just about everyone). I worked odd and varying hours at my lowly fast food job at the time, so I was often not home when they were there in the evening. I was in college during much of the time, so this kept me busy, too. I didn’t date much of have much of a social life, so having friends and girlfriends there was never an issue. I wasn’t expected to start paying rent (if I did I would have probably decided I’d be better off on my own at that point). I agree it was nice having food, cable TV and washing facilities without having to pay for it out of my own pocket, but I knew the time had come for me to get out on my own when my sister and her husband moved out of their trailer, which I then moved into. Nearly ten years later I’ve come to appreciate having my own space, freedom and privacy and being independent. As much as I love my parents, I’d hate to have to go back to living with them if my circumstances required it.
Pah 20 somethings you’re still children 
[kidding!!!]
I’m 39 and still living “at home”. 15 years ago I was “part-time” at home (I lived elsewhere during the week and went home at weekends) One week I was at someone’s house and sat down on a chair that (due to faulty construction) collapsed underneath me. I hit the floor like a sack of spuds and said “ow”, got up and everyone had a good laugh. Three [somewhat sore] days later I was at my parents when I suddenly couldn’t move. I was basically paralysed from the hips down. I found out (years later) I’d dislocated part of my pelvis. I was in fecking agony like you wouldn’t believe 24/7 for 6 months. During that time (we were living in Scotland at the time) my Dad decided that now he was retired we should move to Ireland. I was in no position (literaly) to argue and found myself back home in the aul sod. I eventually was able to walk again, lost most of the weight I’d gained and started to come out of the depression. Then my Dad had a near fatal heart attack. D’Mother lost the plot completely - and any thoughts I might have had about getting a life went out the window.
And here I am 39 years old and still living with my parents, I shop for them, I cook for them and I chauffeur them around, and the Government gives me €139.60 a week for doing so …
D’Mother’s rules are (and always have been) anything that belongs to me has to be kept out of her sight, so everything I own is crammed into a 12ft x 14ft room. We have never been friends, and being in close proximity to her 24/7 for the last 5 years has caused me serious mental and emotional problems.
I don’t date.
I currently have 1 friend (I had two others, but they both moved away a few years ago), and she’s talking about “moving on”.
My social life revolves around the internet, MB’s and IM’s.
And gawd help us I’m a Trekkie …
(Oh there are cats having sex in the garden hahahaha)
Yeah my life’s pretty much a *uck up
Oh well, when you really think about it, everyone of us lives at home by definition. Where else could we possibly live?
I lived at home for a few months after my failed attempt to live in LA just prior to Sept. 11, 2001. I moved out as soon as I could. I love my parents, but I can’t live with them.
Ardred moved back in with his parents at the age of 27 after he lost his job and couldn’t find another for a year and a half. The one he did get only paid $6.50 an hour. He had been living on credit cards and is now paying the price (bankruptcy).
He moved in with me a year later, we get by okay, but we still struggle. I don’t think living with our parents again is an option, though. (we couldn’t live with them now, the five greyhounds would eat our cats…)
I’m 47. The longest time spent outside of this room was 15 weeks of “summer camp” in 1975. I have no real life outside of work (which sucks) few friends, good ones though.
Just typing this makes me sad.
Life is.
I’m 25 and I live at home. But, with a major difference from a lot of people. The house I live in my family has owned for 15 years, but when we refinanced it this year, my mom put my brother and me on the title. So it’s really our house, not just hers. Also, she, he, and I work very different hours, so we’re more like roommates than family. I see myself living here probably until 30, at which point I’ll probably have a better-paying job (I don’t graduate with my bachelor’s until this year) and lesser debt. My brother’s here for the long haul – his plan is to add on a room or two in the back to save my mom somewhere to spend her dotage and move the family he’s planning to start in a few years into the main part of the house. It’s not really bad all around. I think the American urge to get out at 18 is a little silly, to be honest. That’s a really bad time to start a new life for most folks.
I’m 26 and still live at home. It was never really a choice for me. I never thought of leaving and my father made it clear that there was no pressure to leave.
I dropped out of high school in my late teens. After a few months not doing anything I got a temp job. That lead to a full time job where I worked in shipping/recieving for 5-6 years. During that time I completed my high school degree and applied as a mature student to university. I got accepted and took a leave of absence from my job. After that I decided that’s what I wanted to do, so I quit my job. There was some bad feelings over that on my mother’s part. She would have preferred I stay in a nice paying job, but I couldn’t stand the people and the same mind rut there. Dad helped calm Mom down about that. They co-signed for my loans, and that’s where I am now.
The situation here is pretty good. They don’t expect rent, but when I was working I would gladly chip in on whatever was needed. Being single and working without rent, I helped my parents out with many things. They respected my money.
We live in a three bedroom house and a few years ago they let me tear down the wall between to bedrooms, increasing my personal space. That’s where I spend my time. Not because I don’t enjoy being around them, but because I’m a 'net addict.
We basically live together as roommates. Mom works night shift, so Dad and I prepare our own meals. I do what I want, come and go as I please. I was never wild so I have their complete trust, which I respect. I do my own laundry, care for my own space. I’ll help out as needed around the house.
As individuals we get along fine. We are all invovled in any major decisions, and are open to each other about everything. So at anytime I have either one I can talk to, and the same with them. It works really well. We all respect each others space and time.
I find it’s the little things that make it work. For instance the towels in the bathroom are never on the floor and that’s respected by all. Or the toothpaste is always in the same spot. Those are just examples, I can’t think of anymore, but it’s the things like that which make it easier on everyone here. There’s routine and unwritten rules about the tiniest of things, but set to be at everyones advantage.
I’ve recently been accepted to the Canadian Forces and will be moving out at the end of the month. My possessions will remain here until I’m through my training and settled in one I begin my trade. Then I’ll really be out. I think it will be funny with them on their own. Dad has come to depend on me to talk to, and I think it’s the same with Mom. It’s also the little things like the computer they have. I expect it to be stuck on the blue screen of death whenever I come home. They are really going to have to get used to them being alone and it will be amusing to hear how they are getting along.
Yeah, so that’s home life. Now I’m late for school. Curse you SDMB!
You can thank your lucky stars you’re not American. Unless there’s something I’m not understanding about your situation, the government here wouldn’t give you a dime for taking care of your parents.
If I didin’t know better, I’d have thought I wrote this post. Except our names aren’t on the title. Yet.
I’m 28, and I live at home. [Hi, 28!]
Same deal - my mother, brother and I all share a house; we split the expenses, we split the responsibilities, we are, in essence, roommates. My brother has the bottom half of the house, I have the upper half, and my mother is almost never home. I live in one of the most expensive counties in the country, and yet I can afford to live here, in my childhood home (away from which I had lived for 12 years). And you know, after everywhere else I’ve lived, and as miserable as I was when I lived here as a child, for the very first time in my life, I feel as if I am HOME.
We’re all adults, we don’t get in each other’s way, but we’re always there for each other, and we all get along very well. And my brother and I serve as each other’s backup alarm clock - just this morning he knocked on my door at 7:00 to ask if I had intentionally slept in. Which I hadn’t.
As far as I can see, this arrangement will suit us wonderfully for a long time to come.
OK, I’m 42 and three years ago I moved back home. My folks own a two flat. My sister and I live upstairs, mom and dad live downstairs. When they get fiesty, we tell them that they better behave or we’ll move them into the garage.
I earn better than a living wage, I could easily live elsewhere, and I will again, but mom and dad are getting old, and when I live away, I tend to live far, far away. Now is the time in my life that I need to be home, so I am.
Mom and dad do not enter the apartment unless they knock. Surprise visits from them are rare. We pop in on them way more than they pop in on us. We invite them up to all our parties, and mom came up last September when I was hosting some dopers at our house. She knows the term “doper” but I am sure she doesn’t really get it. But she’ll come up and chat with people.
All of our parties end with breakfast on Sunday morning and my parents are always up for that to come up and laugh at the folks with hangovers. I guess that they have a sense of humor in their 80’s, we provide the entertainment.
I mostly laugh about being 40 and living at home. I have no idea what people say behind my back.
My room is right above theirs. Mostly out a lack of opportunity, I have not had sex in my room. But, mom and dad spend the majority of the summer at the summer home, so, you never know, it could happen.
It’s good for me now, and for as long as it’s good, I’ll be here. When it gets to be too much, I’ll leave.
Wow, so what do they do with all the old people in America?
I’m not allowed to work, unless you class 10 hours per week as work. I’ve been refused housing, and I can’t afford to move out. I’ve been refused a grant to make alterations to this house (so that I can have my own “apartment”), so it’s not like it’s a bed of roses