A bunch of the people I work with like to wear camoflage hats. Thing is, I can still see their hats, so it doesn’t seem to work very well.
I didn’t do the laundry. I’ve been on vacation for more than a week now and I meant to do it, but I just didn’t. I’m going to have to wear the back up clothes to work tomorrow.
jUlia louis dreyfuss is an heiress right?
random moment: I just read how the Islamic law does not allow adoption. I never knew that! Having foster kids are okay, but adoption was banned. Ironic since Muhammed adopted a son.
Have you ever met a person who is that color, though? Plain white would come a lot closer to matching my pasty skintone than the so-called flesh colored.
John Boehner?
It kind of does look like a spray tan, doesn’t it?
Riding the DC metro, I always wonder if communists get a kick out of it when they ride the red line. If they do, does that mean cowards chuckle when they are on the yellow line? Environmentalists on the green? Do sad people feel it’s particularly fitting when they are on the blue line?
I once imagined having to explain the concept of sleep to an alien. In order to stay healthy and mentally sharp, I spend a third of my life unconscious (or in a state of altered consciousness, depending how you want to define things), lying on an elevated slab made of steel springs and cloth. I use a large blanket to keep warm, and a pillow to prop up my head. Most people in the same time zone sleep in roughly the same third of the day/night cycle.
At this point the alien, its voice full of concern, asks, “What happens to you if you don’t use the pillow?”. I don’t have an answer.
One of my talents used to be to rent a movie and have it show up on tv within a week of my renting it. It didn’t seem to matter when the movie was released, either (although I usually didn’t watch new releases).
In my case, I wake up dizzy.
I get cranky and don’t sleep well. I got so used to 2 stacked pillows at some point that now even one doesn’t put my head in the proper alignment to the rest of me and I can’t sleep and am restless all night. Basically I would be the easiest person to torture for information. “I’ll tell you whatever you want, just give me back my second pillow!”
You are only able to see the few defective hats. These days most people wear fully functional camouflage hats that are completely invisible.
George Carlin had a bit about this:
Does anyone else have dreams like this?
I, along with several other people, was apparently being held hostage in either a walmart or a grocery store, and they made us wear those rainsuits like lobster fishermen wear. You know, with the bibbed pants and everything, though the hats were a bit more top hat in shape. And then we were herded to the freezer section, and forced to dance to “singing in the rain” while someone sprayed water inside the milk and juice cases. None of us did very well, because, well, the rainsuits were cumbersome, and no one had bothered to teach us any specific dance moves anyway.
So, does anyone else have dreams like that?
Same vein in this XKCD comic
Sometimes I think about getting my hair cut or colored or something to make it look better, and then I remember that there is something I could do to it for free that would improve its appearance 100%, but I still don’t do it.
I could brush it.
I was shit on by one person and vomited on by another in the space of 8 hours yesterday. My daughter had eaten something that turned her stomach and had two self-contained episodes of diarrhea. Very liquidy poo, which covered me from elbows to knees and had her giggling.
I don’t feel bad about being annoyed about that. I do feel bad for complaining about getting vomited on, though. My friend is undergoing chemo and radiation for cancer. She insisted on meeting me at a cafe yesterday. She was tired. I tried to get her to go home and rest. Then we found out the hard way her anti-nausea meds hadn’t worked well. After we cleaned her up and called her husband, we got her outside to get some air. She got sick a few other times, but had already tossed out the bag we’d given her. I managed to get a cup into her hands the fourth time. I don’t think I’ll ever eat an asiago bagel again. And it’ll be a long, long time until I can eat anything remotely brown and liquidy, especially if it’s warm.
Now I’m just tired. I feel like Eeyore. I can’t imagine how she feels. I’m going to check on her later today - I’m trying to think of the best way to do it so I’m not pestering. Maybe I’ll wait another day so she can have time to go to the doctor today and rest.
I really like the remote starter on my car on cold mornings like this one.
I discovered this last weekend that when my cramps are extra-strong, eating the sourest candy I can get my hands on just at the moment the pain starts to crest can short-circuit my brain a little bit. I just can’t process that much sensory input at once. Kinda helps.
The squirrels here do not appear to hibernate. That is, at any time of the year - one can find squirrels doing squirrel things about the grounds and trees. This means that for an entire year, consisting of 4 distinct seasons, squirrels are exclusively outside, wearing the same clothes they always do.
My question, then, is - do you think a squirrel ever wakes up one frosty morning and says, “Goddamn!! It’s really cold out today! Wish I had a jacket!” ?
Well, it depends. How old is your daughter? If she’s 14 or so, I’d be complaining pretty damned loudly, especially when she laughed about it.
I can’t eat seasoned cheese snacks anymore after my 1 year old grandson threw up in my car after eating a boat load of them 5 years ago. Ugh, I feel queasy even now just thinking about it.