I don’t know if it is this way for everyone else but for me, it seems like any time I call someone I haven’t spoken to in a while, they immediately go for the throat:
“Why haven’t you called? … You never call me. … When was the last time we talked?”
I don’t know what manners school these people went to, but I often try to call them on their shit.
“Uhhh is your finger broke??? I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
I mean come on folks, communication is a two way street and if every time I call you you try to guilt me about it the odds of me calling you again drop dramatically.
It’s usually a mutually apologetic thing for both of us.
Me: Hi, how’s it been?
Friend: Hi! OMG it’s been so long. You’re still alive!
Me: Yeah, sorry, I know it’s been a while. Things have just been crazy.
Friend: I know! Me too! I’m sorry I haven’t called lately.
Me: No worries - I haven’t either.
(cue hour-long conversation)
The only people who give me grief about not keeping in touch are my relatives. For some reason the burden of keeping in touch falls on me when it comes to my aunts and uncles. I don’t think most of them really care whether I’m alive, really; they just enjoy making me squirm. :rolleyes:
If someone doesn’t call her and ask what she’s doing, they’ll never know. If they don’t invite her to the movies, dinner, what have you, they obviously don’t have any interest in talking to her. She has no interest in contacting anybody.
She’s mildly put out that so many of her old friends just don’t have any interest in keeping contact. Freakin’ duh…
One of my former friends used to complain bitterly about all the people he’d lost contact with. They never called him anymore.
I pointed out how often he failed to return phone messages, how he almost never answered the phone, how I could go weeks at a time not hearing from him unless I called and he just happened to answer that one time. How he didn’t have an e-mail account. How he had made himself unavailable to everyone and how tired I for one was of always being the one to have to jump through hoops just to maintain contact.
His response was to bitch and complain about how much he hates the telephone, hates computers, hates having to call people…blah, blah, blah.
Um, connect the dots you moron.
Unfortunately, I’ve had more than a few people in my life like this. Now I have firm rules for myself about how far I’m willing to go to keep contact with people.
I have (or had?) a rather one-way friendship. One of its features was that I was always the one initiating contact (making dinner dates, let’s go here or there, just calling/e-mailing to say how ya doin’, etc. – and no, they were always eager to do get together and/or yak, so it wasn’t a matter of them trying to blow me off). After one too many annoying encounters, I decided to stop initiating contact and see how long it took for them to call me.
One year to the day. And just that once, not at all after that (so far).
For other reasons I am fine with the distancing, thought I am of course still friendly if I bump into them (and so are they). But yes, communication is supposed to be a two-way street.
Gah! My mother does that to me. Guess what Mom, it makes me want to call even less.
I’m fortunate that most of my friends don’t. They realize that communication is a two-way street, so like Haze, and her friends, we end up apologizing to each other for the lack of communication.
My mother-in-law’s emails to my husband invariably start with, “Thought I’d write and make sure you’re okay since I haven’t heard from you in a while.” :rolleyes:
Ah, yes. My grandma calls my mom and says, “I haven’t heard from you in so long just thought I’d call to see if you’re still alive” (“so long” might = 2 or 3 days.)
My mom tells her to start checking the obituaries every day to make sure.
