Anyone else not good at keeping old friends?

It’s been a long time fault of mine. I mean truly it has been and one I’ve wrestled with on a fairly regular basis. The problem stems from them not being in my immediate area of focus. Usually friends cope with it and accept the waxing and the waning of my attention, they accept it as one of my eccentricities and deal with it as they can.

I’m in the process of trying to create a tool to help me with this, something along the lines of an automated nagging mother who will remind me to call people regularly, but it is far from complete.

And in the past three days, it has come to a head with some of my old high school friends. One is the girl whom I chased all through high school but she wasn’t strong enough to ever tell me we’d just be friends, so in college I distanced myself to free myself from her and move on. The other is a guy who I was close friends with but who also changed, he partied harder, and changed as well. None are reasons though to not hang out, I’m just providing context.

A few days ago I got a notice that a friend was having a luncheon for people from high school and I responded that I wished I could attend but that I had to work, and even if I didn’t have to work, I had another event I was supposed to attend. Well this set the girl off and I received a flurry of text messages equating to “I’m tired of this, friends have given up on you, I’ve tried and now I’m giving up to.” I tried to reply saying “Look, it’s work, I’m sorry.” But that was met to no avail.

I’m torn. Part of me is frustrated that this has happened, part is angry that she isn’t willing to acknowledge a legitimate excuse, and part is just confused as to why I have such trouble with this. The problem lies with me, I know this and recognize this, but I’m still horrible about keeping in touch with people.

So am I alone in this? Does anyone else have similar issues?

– IG

I’m orginally from New Jersey and I now live in Arkansas. I have a terrible time keeping in touch and no matter how much I tell myself I must call this particular friend…I don’t. I have one friend from back home that I actually make an effort to keep in touch with. I’ve known her since the 4th grade, and she’s an amazing friend. Hopefully I won’t let her wander off into oblivion.

It’s easier when you’re young to have, make new, and keep friends. But no, you are not alone.

I’m 25 and not in touch with anyone from my teenaged years even though I still live in the same town I was born and went through school in. What friends I do make, I never keep and if it weren’t for the internet, I’d have one whole friend, who I only just met this year.

I move around a lot for work and have a hard time keeping up with people. I used to worry about it more, but I’ve come to feel that the good friendships just kind of survive somehow.

The way I see it, is that it works both ways. If people want to keep in contact with me, they’ll make an effort, and in return, I won’t delete their number when I get a new phone. I have to admit, though, Myspace makes keeping in touch much easier when I go back home, or back to my college town.

I’m in the same boat. I’m horrible about keeping in touch - and you would think in this day and age it would be easier considering availability of IM’s, Email/internet, and cellphones.

Yup, I’m one of those people who can and has functioned alone… and if I recall correctly, I got a heck of a lot of things done because there were no interruptions. I still believe I would do just fine in a cottage on some secluded land in Ireland or Scotland.

I don’t have ANY old friends now, or indeed any friends besides my boyfriend and his friends and a few people who I see every very once in a while who I’m still close to. After college it’s hard to make friends and your college friends fall away, and my best friend I’d known since high school got told by her boyfriend that I was a bad influence, so that was that. If I got married now I wouldn’t have a single bridesmaid. It’s sad.