The words you use to describe how you feel about being a professor could very well be used to describe someone’s feelings about being a mother. And…what is wrong with that, exactly?
I guess I’ll agree, although I always thought Naked-Wire Surrogate Monkey Mother would make a good screen name.
Of course, the OP would have a big problem with Oslo phone book.
Writing about being a prof earlier was to explain that I do choose to define myself by something, something I worked hard for and that represents many different aspects of me. However, I’ve been thinking about that since I wrote it. For many people, it may be exactly the same feeling, no doubt.
The Dr. Laura example I was describing got to me because every women was expected to define herself by her reproductive status- kids?? How many??
As if bearing children somehow elevated that woman above what she had been prior to having kids. It’s that attitude- that you are defined by the kids you have or the husband you married- that riles me up.
To put it another way, A woman who has children may feel the same way about it positively defining her. It was specifically the attitude expressed on Dr. Laura- that having kids is the definition of a woman- that got me.
This is worrisome how?
Because defining yourself by your career on a license plate is so much better? Or your ideology? Or religion? Or possessions? Or hobby?
Because we are oblivious to the non-availabilty of a license plate that just says “Me”? Or “I”? Who has a two-character license plate?
And, contra-wise, who prefers to put their full names on the things? Who here has a license plate that’s “firstname middlename lastname” Lord knows I’ve heard enough, early internet “advice”, about having the sobriquet JohnT - “but somebody could track you down if they wanted!” Imagine if you put your first name, last initial on your license plate to assert “yourself”, the unique you that makes you you - that would just work out great:
“Hey, JohnT! Pull over, asswipe, and let us through!”
Me, I prefer being XKJ169. Accept no substitutes.
But that’s just me. 
That’s not obvious to me.
If it makes you feel better, when my mother decided to get a vanity license plate (too damn many of the same model cars around - she kept losing hers) hers was “Maude”. FromHarold and Maude. Ever since then, people come up to her and address her as Maude - which is not her name.
mischievous
And, if you must know, my screenname is a translation of my real name into English.
I define myself through my cats (the current Feather and the former Lou). 
Interesting rant, though. I think license plates like that are all part of the Cult of the Child.
Oh, nice job of ass covering tom. Don’t get defensive about the OP’s bright arc light of revelation shining down on the fact that you felt the pathetic, needy compulsion to add your SO to your compound user tag. What’s the matter, aren’t you a complete person without “ndebb”. Why can’t you just be a proud, stand alone, fully self actualized “tom” without leaning on “ndebb”. Poor ndebb having to shoulder that heavy burden all these years.
I suppose. But then, given that I am aware that many people make selections without considering how the name will appear twenty years from now, the impressions I take are generally not based in my inference that the poster is defined only by another person (or that the poster is defined by the username, at all).
~
I dunno, I always thought my mom’s “METLMOM” license plate was pretty funny.
I dunno about most parents, because I’m not one, but once you have a kid (if you’re a good parent, that is) you don’t necessarily CEASE to be yourself, but your kids are a hell of a lot more important than what you used to do before the kids. Your kids are your life. At least, that’s how it was with my parents and the friends I have that have kids. So you ARE defined by your children.
It is stupid, however, to define yourself by whatever romantic relationships you’re in. I know a lot of people like that, and I think it’s dumb. But the parent thing I can understand a lot better.
~Tasha
I know! Do you think poor ndeb has any idea how her name’s been dragged through the mud, trailing in the wake of Tom’s seven year rampage of insight, knowledge, and patience? No doubt she’d be appalled.
And we accept that, but a mom can also be defined as a profession as sorts, and require more commitment and time. If you want to take a title to add to your username, I don’t see why you think it’s wrong/sad for someone else to do that also, especially when their title represents a very importaint part of humanity and has been through out history.
I do suspect that* some* who get the feeling that the OP expressed are the one who feel incomplete. These people make statments like the OP said to cover their own feeling of incompleteness. Now I’m not saying that the OP poster is one who is projection their feelings on MOM2MEG, but it could easially be, even without realizing he is doing it.
Relationship identification is just a pathetic way of expressing your personality.
I could provide addtional arguments but its time to take my dog, Bubba, for a walk.
Bubbadog
The best vanity plate I ever saw was on a red Porsche and read MACHO, which either demonstrated a deep sense of self irony or a total jerkwad.
To continue the vanity plate hijack, I guy living close to me has 42 as vp on his Ferrari.
/hijack
I do take an exception to the snipped quote above. I don’t think parents should put their kids first, I think they should put themselves first, so as to be good providers for their kids.
BTW, it’s good to be back.
Just a note - those teenage girls generally grow up to to be the soccer moms.
And yes, it annoys me too. But I have no kids, so maybe it’s different when you spawn*.
It occurs to me I should point out I don’t mean that insultingly. I always use the word spawn, tongue-in-cheek.
My wife is the center of my life, and I consider my marriage to be the defining acheivement of my life, more important than my career or my hobbies or my bank account or whatever else.
I wasn’t aware that that made me a pathetic loser. Thanks for clearing that up, aerodave.
I’m sure your wife/kids/family are gratified to know that whatever “aero” signifies, it’s vastly more important to you than the people you love.
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Arabs do it.
Names that start with Bin, Om and Abu translate as “Son of” “Mother of” and “Father of” respectively. Evidently nobody really cares who you’re the daughter of.
Years ago, I went through a bad spell. My first husband left. At the same time, I took a leave from my job where I was being sexually harrassed. For about two months, I’d lost all my handy identity tags. I wasn’t Greg’s wife, I didn’t have a boyfriend to let people know where I belonged. And when people asked me what I did for a living, I was “between jobs.” It was really telling to me how much of my identity I hung on these handy hooks. And I’m a pretty interesting well rounded person - its just that the hooks were handy and that is what people ask about “married? kids? what do you do for a living?” (Or back then, it was who you were seeing instead of married with kids). People expected the hooks that I didn’t have.
Anyway, my screen name here identifies me as my daughter’s mother, just far more obscure than most.
(I’ve always wondered what you do when you tatoo “Lisa” on your arm and she dumps you.)
Well, that’s Dr. Laura. Not every woman who introduces herself as “I’m Austin’s mom” is doing so because she wants to disparge your choice. She feels its pertenent in some fashion. Maybe she wants to head off the “and what do you do for a living” conversation that I understand some SAHMs feel is insulting. Maybe because after a few too many soccer games, she’s just gotten used to being Austin’s mom. There is a whole group of people I know only as “Austin’s mom” or “Shelby’s Dad” because - frankly - I don’t need to know them as people - and don’t really have time to know them outside their roles.
It is funny when you are walking through the grocery store and someone comes yelling up after you “Hey, Alex’s Mom!!!” and you turn around and its Nick’s Mom and she wants to know if Alex has plans for Saturday or can he do a play date. And you get a phone number that you stick in your purse that says “Nick’s Mom’s cell phone”