So I was IM’ing with this guy who had contacted me on an…er…“social networking” site. The first time we chatted, he asked me for a nude picture. I said no, as I don’t send nakey pictures of myself to random guys on the internet.* I figured he was probably joking.
The second time we chatted, I discovered that he hadn’t been joking.
Here is a piece of the chat log: **
Pathetic Boy: I am not a picture collector and I dont get off on the idea…But when a woman likes me enough to share a sensuous photo of what she looks like… I find that special.
Pathetic Boy: And of course sexy…
Me: Nice angle, bud.
Me: Manipulative as hell, though.
Pathetic Boy: See I knew you would take the negative…
Me: I don’t like to be guilted or manipulated.
Pathetic Boy: But I was telling you something about ME…
Me: Something that had a chance of getting a nudie pic out of me.
Pathetic Boy: Honey if you would like a nudie pic of a woman I have many…
Pathetic Boy: I’ll send them to you…
Pathetic Boy: You missed the point and it was a nice one…
Me: Okay, then what was the point?
Pathetic Boy: The point was that talking to you getting to know you feeling the potential possibilties is nice… Its great… If I felt that you were feelin comfortable, considered, and important. YOu would feel some attraction towards me…
Pathetic Boy: YOu may wish to have me smile and maybe send me a token of friendship, trust as-well-as sensuality…
Pathetic Boy: Not a Trojan Horse.
Me: LOL…well, I think it’s a bit early for a token of trust
Me: So, why don’t you send me a nudie pic of you?
Pathetic Boy: Cause I admit I am selfish…I dont really have one thats honest… And its just me…
Pathetic Boy: I enjoy the person I am talking with and would want to SEE them.
Me: Well, I can barely see what you look like in either of your pics.
Pathetic Boy: Honey you have a full face portrait…
Me: And you have one of me.
Pathetic Boy: Well I wont battle…Its not my style and I am not into who wins or loses… My goal is we both win… And both enjoy each other…
I wonder how many chicks he gets to fall for that line of baloney?
What a dork!
And no, I haven’t posted a picture in the NSFW thread, so don’t bother to look.
** This is unedited, except that I removed 4-5 lines of irrelevant randomness.
"Send me naked pictures and then sleep with me the first time we meet. I’m not saying this because I’m a creep…I’m saying it because I think you’re special!
And because I really want to get to know you, you should bring a friend. Nothing says ‘lets get to know each other on a deeper level’ like a nice threesome."
Guys are wierd.
Hmm, since I don’t want to waste our time trying what doesn’t work, is there a line of bull a riff raff like me could use that you would fall for?
dba Fred
P.S. No, don’t send me a nude photo of yourself, I’m not that kind of guy … well if you insist. No don’t, I respect you and our friendship too much for that (I’ll just come over with my camera since this post counts as our first date, right? Whadda ya mean you can see why I’m still single?)
Probably not. I know you’re just joking and everything, but I do get tired of these guys’ attempts to manipulate me.
It’s funny…I related the story of this guy to a very wise friend of mine. She posited that he was attempting to establish dominance by getting me to do something that I had said that I did not want to do.
I replied, “Either that or he just wanted to get a naked picture and get laid.”
She laughed and said “that too.”
But I think the first point does have a lot of validity. If he’s just looking for the picture and the sex, why not move on to someone who is more willing? The above exchange isn’t the only instance of this sort of manipulation. It’s clear from prior conversation, when viewed in retrospect, that this was his game all along. And as I said, subsequent conversation only confirmed that he was trying to talk me into stuff that I had clearly said that I wasn’t willing to do.
Darn, still no private email with an attachment from you
Interesting, he seems to be smooth & literate, not just a pimply-faced 17 year old (we pimply-faced 17 year olds need love too).
I’m not sure I would go with the dominance theory. My father (a wise man) told me the way to get people to do something was to plant the seed in their mind so that they though what you wanted to do was their idea all along.
I also see it as a nude photo from you would be more “valuable” to him than just some random Internet photo as you are a real person (you are, aren’t you?). In addition to the potential to actually meet you. “I talked her into step 1, I talked her into step 2 … and penis ensued.”
He sounds like the kind of guy that I’d like to play poker with, he ignores the odds
But in the great grand cosmic scheme of things aren’t we all trying to manipulate each other? “I’ll make you happy if you make me happy” or “you make me happy and I’ll make you happy” or “I’ll pay you X dollars a day if you agree to do X amount of work for me.”
Pathetic boy should go into telemarketing or email spamming, all he needs is a small percentage of gullible responders to make his efforts worthwhile.
I had a similar situation, only the guy was a lot more up-front. I think I respect that more. It was more “I think your first picture was hot. I’d love a nude. How about it?”
Gotta say…I thought about it. I appreciated the honesty. He was also genuinely articulate, much more so than I am making him out to be in this post. I like articulate.
The point is that there are many real women out there that he could talk to who would willingly share a nude photo etc. It wasn’t more valuable because it was from me. It was more valuable because by getting one, he would have had to put one over on me. And some people like to do that.
There’s nothing manipulative about making a square deal. What you describe sounds like what I would call “win-win situations.”
I agree. My answer would have still been “no,” but I also wouldn’t be making fun of him on a public message board!
