Bend over, SPOOFE!
Damhna, sorry to break this to you but Twisty doesn’t have internet access at home so it’ll be tomorrow before he’s able to take up your challenge.
what in God’s name are you doing up this early anyway 
My revenge will lie…
It will lie amongst my dogs
It will await the coming of the Twist…
This may be the very apocolyspe.
The fury in my heart is yet unmastered.
The passion on my blade awaits his arrival…
I will make short play if this pretender
The Queen of all that is Good replies.
You may protest for the favour of your friend.
I fear that I may not spare him on your account alone.
Tell me of a noble deed.
Tell me of some fiend he has devoured.
Tell me any demon he hast vanquised that yet might stay my blade.
Check RTE1 to find out why I am awake at this godforsaken hour.
And when battle commences…stand back lest we sever the wonderous locks of hair that my sons will speak of for years to come should they stay intact.
Grainne Mhoal had nothing on you fairness!
Gladly. It’s been too long since my ass crack has been cleaned out. You’re welcome to it.
Nope, wait. First you gotta move your head.
RTÉ1 duly checked … it’s beginning to make sense now
Reasons to spare Twisty? Well, he’s cute, and the DubDopes wouldn’t be the same without him. And he was in the Artane Boys Band. And Tatertot would kill you (this is not a woman to be messed with). Lots of reasons!
Grainne Mhoal, wasn’t she bald?
No, she was called “Bald Grace” by her family because she cut all her hair off (and wore all boy’s clothes) one one occasion to prove to her father that she was worthy of sea travel and piracy.
BTW, Damhna, you should challenge Twisty to a spelling contest! That’ll be fun!
For your consideration–artillery shells lobbed across the Taiwan Straits.Should insure plenty of international attention…
Just poking my head in to say hi and do you want to go for a drink sometime you narky bastard 
Got out of Sligo then did you Ruadh?
Haha you have found his achiles heel. 
Yes, thank God. We were supposed to be in Donegal but got trapped en route by the snowstorm. By yesterday morning we had enough and said “we’re getting the fuck out of here” even though it was lashing at the time. Couldn’t believe how nice the weather was in Dublin.
Hopefully Damhna’s slept it off by now though I have to say this has been one of the funniest threads I’ve seen in some time
Yikessss…
How drunk was I?
I seem to have talked my way into a spelling contest.
Im always doing that.
Alright then.
First Volley:
Twisty Spell…um…Chrysanthemum.
HA That’ll keep him busy
Must…not…make…comment…about…toothpaste.
Aw, fuck it!
DRY, you bad boy!
Spelling contest!!! The Cheek!!! I demand Satisfaction!!
Damhna, My apologies to you. I did indeed promise another night out before you depart again. And we shall have it.
When are you free next?
DRY, before this war is ended I am going to kill you.