OK, I posted this in another thread (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002129.html).
I didn’t want to hijack that thread, so here is a new one to discuss something that really pisses me off.
(Mods, I wasn’t sure where to put this. Since I’m bitching a bit, I thought that the Pit would be appropriate, but feel free to move it whereever you want!)
I just wanted to point out the some fairly respectable people actually enjoy sex! (Yes, I’m operating under the impression that I am a respecatble person! Here come the flames!)
I have been known as quite the slut. I was always careful about STDs and pregnancy (as much as you can be and still have sex), but I commited the terrible sin of having sex for fun. I even had sex with guys that I didn’t want to have relationships with (as a matter of fact, my fiancé was a one-night stand until he started asking me for my phone number every week!) How awful! And, oh-my-gosh!, even though I am engaged, I still have fantasies about other men!
Why is this sort of behavior so unacceptable for women? Do you realize that it’s gotten so bad that you can’t even date in high school? You have to commit to one guy (or not date anyone) or else you are a slut.
I really think that that’s one of the reasons that so many girls get pregnant in high school. They have to commit so young, and they start feeling very serious about their boyfriends. They start to believe that every guy they date could be “the one”. I know so many girls that wouldn’t even be having sex except that they really believe that they are in love. They are so sure that this 10th grade guy will marry them someday. It’s really sad.
Luckily, I never bought into this bull. I dated around, not sleeping with most of them, but still earning a bad rep – not because the guys were saying things, but because other girls were. Still, I feel that I developed much healthier views of love and sex than most of them. I have never done anything that I did not want to just to make a man happy. I have never stayed with a man that was abusive (ok, it was only one guy and only one time, but I kicked his ass!) And the only man that I have ever believed would marry me was the one that put a ring on my finger. Maybe it’s time to change the way we view a woman’s role in sexual relations.
Down with the missionary position!
I know no everyone will agree with this but I don’t think that simply being single and liking sex or having sexual experiences makes you a slut. Horny maybe, but not a slut. My idea of a slut would be a woman that has sex with a man who she knows is married to someone else. As not to sound sexist, a man can be a slut too if he knowingly has sex with a married woman.
Its time to quit toting the feminist line, and admit that men and women have different roles in relationships especially dealing with sex. The old adage that “men are the gas women are the brake” holds true. Blame it on media, or nature, or gods cruel joke, whatever, but realize it is true. Women can enjoy sex, but the fact that women can have sex anytime they want with their choice of men puts a heavy burden on them for using that power responsibly. If a woman shows an inability to handle that power with the proper respect, and caution she will lose her reputation. Its not unlike the fact that men can usually overpower women, we’re the stronger sex, and we have a resonsibility to not abuse that fact. Women have the same resonsibility. When women decide to ignore this fact and become promiscuous, they are branded a slut. The fact is wmen know the world works this way, so if they are going to wield that sexual power, then they must accpet the nagative label that comes with it. Its not like the label comes out of nowhere, you knew it was there before you blew the football team, but that didn’t stop you. You made your bed so now you must sleep in it. I have the freedom to insult and critisize everyone I see, I can’t be upset though when I get labeled an asshole of the highest order.
Get over the “double standard” complaint, men and women are different, its not a value judgement, but it is a fact, and we have different responsibilities. If you don’t follow societies standards, don’t be pissed when society becomes unpleasant to you. Its a double edged sword to try and buck the system.
Wait a minute, I am a woman , I love sex, I am not a slut. I may have a higher sex drive than any of the other women in my family, hell most of them are nones ( ain’t had none, don’t want none, don’t want anyone else to have none either). I won’t do another guy, but I’ll do my lion anytime and almost anyplace ( not in church).
I consider myself to have a very healthy view of sex, I am monogamous,I wasn’t always but hey, when you have the best why screw the rest ? ;). I have tried almost every position, and all types of men. I say if it doesn’t violate your own moral code, and/or religious beliefs,break any vows or hurt anyone else and you want to do it , have at. Just be very careful about emotions (other peoples ) and avoid all those little nastys that granny’s lye soap and penicillian won’t kill .
Ayesha - Lioness
You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication.
Hey wait. Did Eutychus55 really write that? The little I’ve seen him post, I’ve always thought of him as Uncle Eutychus55. eyeing him in a new, slightly predatory light
Having sex for fun doesn’t make you a slut. Having one-night stands doesn’t necessarily make you a slut. Having more than one sexual relationship at a time doesn’t make you a slut.
Repeatedly fucking people whose names you don’t even know and who you just met 2 hours ago makes you a slut. And I have little respect for anyone who does so, regardless of gender.
“I love God! He’s so deliciously evil!” - Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
I offer this –
As a young, single male, encountering a true slut was a god-send. This was a long time ago but it was great! She didn’t want a relationship, she just wanted “to get balled”, using her vernacular.
This, I’m sorry to say, is nearly every young mans fantasy. Wild, unencumbered, meaningless, hot monkey sex to the highest order – and you don’t have to call her in the morning. She knew she was a slut. I knew she was a slut. And we were OK with that.
Of course I grew up, and now need much more from a relationship.
But from an eighteen-year-old boy’s perspective, thank you Lord for the sluts.
Oh and Slythe, a fuck can, thankfully, be meaningless.
Slut is a term used for girls that have sex with regularly with different guys, but won’t have sex with you. When a girl calls another girl a slut, it’s a girl who was sex regularly that she doesn’t like or is not friends with.
I prefer nuts & sluts. If I get both, what a bonus.
Most sluts I know or knew, usually get cervical cancer or a hysterectomy later in life from all that ‘partying…’ IE: Sex with too many partners or sex too young.
Repeated, casual sex has never been a good idea for men or women. STD’s can be transmitted even if a condom is used. And many people don’t know this, but if you have protected sex with a condom twice a week, there’s about a 10% chance you’ll wind up with a pregnancy within a year.
So, let’s say someone goes out and does the wild thing casually using a condom, twice a week, for four years of university. There’s about a 35% chance that you’ll either get pregnant or get someone else pregnant by the end of that time. Sounds pretty irresponsible to me.
If you’re a woman, you can lower that significantly by double protecting yourself with both the pill AND a condom. But there is still a non-insignificant chance of transmission of an STD, or other physical problems. And the Pill can cause problems of its own. And let’s face it, there are often psychological problems that will crop up later when you settle down, either within you or your spouse.
From a woman’s standpoint, casual one-night stands are a risky behaviour because men are strong and you are engaging in an intimate act in a private setting with someone you don’t know. After a few hundred of these, there’s a good chance that one of them will have gone very badly for you.
If you’re willing to take those risks, go for it. But I don’t think most people are really even aware of them.
