A somewhat crude question about overweight people.

Hey, Vince here for SHAM-WIPE. You havin’ trouble wipin’ your ass? Try SHAM-WIPE! This thing is amazing! Lookadis. You put the wipe on the stick, you stick the stick in your ass and wipe it clean! Isdatamazingorwhat? You know the Germans make this stuff and you know how good the Germans are at wipin’ their asses. Now we can’t do dis all day so call now and we’ll include free of charge the amazing SUPER DUPER POOP CHUTE VIEWPER, the periscopic attachment that lets you see the **SHAM-WIPE *doing its business while you’re doing your business.
Only $19.95 +S/H

*Tongue biting prostitue not included.

[Moderating]

I don’t think this kind of post is particularly useful in GQ. If you have a problem with a post, and think it’s offensive, report it to the moderators.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator

It *was *obvious, to anyone who was not looking to find offense where there was none.

LINK!!

Blame it on menopause…

I am still laughing. :smiley:

ETA: For those still looking for a link on the towel thread. Someone up-thread has already provided one, but to be helpful, I shall quote them now:

:eek:

My very large friend passed on about 10 years ago. (45y’s)
I will add that the fire department had to assist at the residence, hospital and mortuary. At the service, the urn that held his cremains wasn’t big enough to hold his heart.
That was the impressive thing about him. he had a heart big enough(figuratively) for 2 people his size. (600+).
(He died from septic shock).

Wow. I mean…wow!

I apologize. My newly gained obesity has me a bit sensitive.
It isn’t menopause, but my generation. I was taught that bowel habits were never discussed in polite society.

My family has a tale that my great-great grandmother, upon seeing the first hobbleskirts that showed a bit of ankle, closed her shades and never went outside again.

I don’t want to be as closed-minded as my ancestor, so I am sorry.

I agree completely with this comment.

Remember on the Simpsons when Homer decided to become obese so he could work from home.

That was a great episode, especially Bart’s daydream of being obese

Bart: “I wash myself with a rag on a stick”

“We are sorry. The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad now.”

How was/is your weight distributed?

Uh, to be as tactful as possible, I am talking about people who have butts that are extremely wide. For example, there is a lady I know who…uh(I feel bad expalining this even)…well, her butt is very, very wide. I mean, she is rather short and she is almost equally wide and tall.

How can she reach?

Seriously, I’m trying to be sensitive. I promise. :slight_smile:

I believe a great many women (of varying girths) wipe by reaching between their legs. As a guy, it freaks me right the f&ck out, but it happens.

How else would you do it? :confused:

You *should *be doing it by reaching around. Reaching between for women is a really great way to develop some really nasty vaginal and urinary infections.

This is something your Mommy should have taught you.

Well, I guess you could still do it from front to back even if you were reaching through your legs. It would just be awkward.

Duh. That’s why women wipe from front to back. How is that in conflict with anything I said?

http://www.amplestuff.com/ ?