A Story by Cartooniverse's 9 Year Old Daughter :)

(This is totally as written, I busted a gut laughing and thought it was perfect MPSIMS material.)

The Snake Bite by Cartooniverse’s Daughter

Yeah! Jeffrey we get to go to Africa lets go tell Jimmy. Hi my name is David .I have blonde hair brown eyes and I’m slender built. I have a 3 year    old brother named Jeffery my mom is named Amy my dad is named Peter and my best friend is named Jimmy.
Ding Dong
“Hello, Jimmy, we get to go to Africa,”
“Great when do we leave?”
“Next week”
“Great!”
(1 week later) The plane is coming.
“Come on Jimmy and Jeffery.”
Wow! This is great.”
“Yeah, my dad got us all first class.”
“Cool “
“Finally, we’re here.”
“Come on let’s go.”
“Where’s the hotel?”
“A couple blocks away.”

“Cool this is a great hotel you to go exploring?
“Sure. Mom,were going to walk around alittle bit.
“Ok. Just be careful.”
“Where do you want to go David ?
“Lets go to the rain forest.”
“Ok.isn’t this really cool.”
“Yeah.Hey there’s a creek over there.”
“Cool.Lets go skip rocks.”
“Hey there’s a nice rock ow!!!.”
“What’s wrong David.”
“ I was bit by a mountain green snake.”
“We better go tell your mom and dad.

“Oh my god you were bit by a mountain green snake Amy go call the doctor.”
“Ding Ding”
“Hello”
“Doctor my son was bit by a mountain green snake.”
“Oh that’s not good.”
“Why isn’t it good.?”
“ Well the only potion is in Skull Cave and whoever’s gone there never came back.He will turn to stone in 48 hours (click)		
“David the doctor said you’ll turn to stone in 48 hours and there’s no way you can be healed except if you go to Skull Cave but whoever went there never came back me and your father are going to the library to look up the mountain green snake.”
“OK,” replied David.
“Bye mom. Bye dad. Jeffrey go get my book bag.”
“Why do you need a book bag?”
“It’s got an atlas in it and the atlas has a map of Africa in it. Thanks Jeffrey.Here it is. It looks like we’ll have to take a boat to Skull Cave.”
“What are you talking about? You heard your mom. She said whoever has gone there has never returned.”
“It wouldn’t really matter because if I don’t go then I’ll turn to stone and if I do go then there might be a slight chance that I could make it alive.”
“Fine, we’ll go” replied Jimmy, “but where the heck are we going to get a boat?”
“I heard there’s a guy named Bob that we can rent a boat from.”
“Well then, let’s go.”
“Here we are let’s go. Thanks for letting us borrow a boat Bob bye.”
“OK it’s the 3rd cave on the left.”

(45 min. later)
“There it is David. This is a really creepy cave. I know the doctor said it’s on a rock.”
“Jimmy there’s a lot of rocks here.”
BOOM
“What was that?”
“Oh no we’re trapped. Come on there’s got to be another way out.”
“Let’s go through that tunnel.”
“I don’t seeeee!”
“Jimmy don’t worry I’m coming.Come on Jeffrey.Ahhhh! Ouch! That hurt.”
“Where are we?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well let’s try and find away out.”

(A few minutes later)
“There’s an opening I think.”
“Well then let’s go.”
“What kind of room is this? I thought this was a cave not a torture chamber.”
“It’s not.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m the keeper of this cave.”
“Well keeper we need the potion now give it to us.”
“You have to pass an obstacle course.”
“Fine. Jimmy, you’ll have to do it.”
“OK. Then let’s go.”
“What will we have to do?”
“Just doge the spears, avoid the giant boulders and leap over the flaming holes.”
“Fine.Ready, set, go!”
“Ahh! A spear! Whoa, that was close!”
“Watch out! There’s another one!”
“Hey I think I’m getting the hang of it! Whoa! Finally I’m done with the first one. Now on to the boulders.”
“Come on your catching up to him Jimmy.”
“This is getting kind of easy.”
“Ahh!”
“Jimmy! The keeper fell but I think he’s got a hold of something.”
“Well it doesn’t really matter Cause I passed him and I’m on to the next level.”
“Jump Jimmy. You better hurry he’s coming. Oh no! Jimmy get up! Get up! You’re almost there! Yeah you won! Let’s go Jeff. Great job Jimmy.”
“Give us the potion now keeper.”
“Fine.”
“Come on guys let’s go back to the hotel and find mom and dad.”

“Mom, Dad we found the potion.”
“Well then drink it.”
“OK.” (Gulp gulp) “Hey it’s cherry flavored.
In two gulps David had that potion down his throat and was all better.

THE END

Um. So, like, did they rent the boat from B’wana Bob?

Definitely in the running for a Pulitzer!

I do love a happy ending.

Anyone who teaches/encourages creativity - in writing, music, athletics, whatever you desire - to kids these days is my hero. Can’t wait to read more soon!

Way cute, indeed, Toonie. :slight_smile: Give her a hug from purplebear, wouldja? When’s the next adventure?

{{{{{{Cartooniverse}}}}}}
{{{{{{Toonie’s kid}}}}}}

It’s already been optioned by the nice people at Alfred Knopf & Company. :smiley:

Ginger, you’d best go look, those zany spacefarers are at it again !!!

I love how this kid’s mind works, she’s endlessly amusing and VERY fast on her feet with the comebacks. We do encourage her to write stories. Thanks for the kudos, glad you enjoyed it. :slight_smile:

That was all Cartooniverse’s kid. I did not write any of it. I didn’t even help. (It’s way better than some of my work. Maybe Cartoonikid should pen the next B’wana Bob installment.)
-Rue.

Adorable Story :slight_smile:

You should have her write it out on some plain paper, and illustrate it, and make it into a little book. I used to do them when I was a kid, and they’re the cutest thing to look back on years later!

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Cartooniverse *
**(This is totally as written, I busted a gut laughing and thought it was perfect MPSIMS material.)

**I love this author!
Cartooniverse, I would like an autographed copy, do you think she’d do that for me?

“Oh my god you were bit by a mountain green snake Amy go call the doctor.”
“Ding Ding”
“Hello”
“Doctor my son was bit by a mountain green snake.”
**“Oh that’s not good.”**

this line just kills me

Well, I have to ask her. I think she’d be tickled pink though !!! How sweet. Yeah, she really does turn a phrase like- a 9 year old. :slight_smile:

My favorite line was this

“What kind of room is this? I thought this was a cave not a torture chamber.”

I think it’s a great story and I agree with Pammipoo. She should illustrate it and make her own book.

Very cute, Cartooniverse!
I’m with Pammipoo. You could even type it up for her, and let her illustrate it. The teacher in me is saying take it to Kinko’s or someplace, have it laminated and bound and give it to the grandparents for Christmas.
Will it be a featured selection for the Book-of-the-Month club? :slight_smile:

“Lets call Oprah.”
“Ring Ring”
“Oprah I have a book for you for your book episodes.”
“Great!”
“It has action, adventure, danger and an exotic setting.”
“Super.”
“Will you use it?”
“I’m tired of all those sad books I recommend.”
“This story is happy.”
“Happier than Angela’s Ashes?”
“Are you freakin’ kidding me?”
“OK.”
“Super.”

:smiley:

THAT was totally awesome. I give your Little Toon an A+++.

It made me remember what it was like to write like that.

The plot was much better than 100% of the movies out there.

I think you should call Speilberg.
BTW, this is my favorite part:

“Fine, we’ll go” replied Jimmy, “but where the heck are we going to get a boat?”
“I heard there’s a guy named Bob that we can rent a boat from.”
“Well then, let’s go.”
“Here we are let’s go. Thanks for letting us borrow a boat Bob bye.”
“OK it’s the 3rd cave on the left.”

No mincing of words. No time wasting. No packing of bags. the kids travel like Indiana Jones or James Bond.

What in the heck are the parents doing while the kids are away, anyways? Ask your daughter that for me, please.

“Third cave on the left” would be a good name for a production company.

applause, applause, applause

:smiley:

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

The whole POINT is that the kids are self-sufficient enough to leave the parents to some quality boink time. I mean…isn’t that the whole point? <<eyes darting about nervously>>> :cool:

I dare not question her. I told her that a few of the Dopers really loved it , and her eyes were HUGE with delight. You people ROCK. :slight_smile:

Quality Boink Time? :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:
Gotta try that line on MrKinsey!
“Come on honey, the kids are gone, it’s Quality Boink Time!”

Brava!

PS- Third Cave on the Left … new band name.

I don’t know about you folks, but I’m starting a Bob fan club. No Bob, no boat. :slight_smile:

How do I tell an impressionable 9 year old that she’s become the darling of the Illuminati???

Carefully. A new chant…

[quote]
No Bob, No Boat**.

:slight_smile: