A Straightdope Murder Mystery. LAST LONG-AWAITED PART.

First and foremost: I sincerely and humbly apologize for the lateness of this last part. I got sidetracked and, combined with suddenly not in the mood to write, it made me put this last part on a shelf for a long time. Still, that’s no excuse, so I just wanted to say I’m sorry to everyone who was following along and wanting to know how the story ended. I was actually surprised at the turnout of people who contacted me in some way asking “hey, where’s the rest?” over the last few months…I didn’t realize that many cared about the story or what happened in it. I did have every intention of finishing it eventually, I’m just sorry it took so long. : /
I wrote most of it awhile back (not long after part five was posted) and just finished it up right now.
So here is the rest…and if any of you need or want a boost in memory regarding what has already gone on (or if you haven’t read any at all, yet), here you go. I’d actually strongly suggest starting at the beginning again and reading it all through as one, but it’s not a needed thing obviously:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
A thread where people took guesses at the killer(s)


The real story, in all actuality, began a whole threemonths preceding the SDMB party. Idle Thoughts had crossed her path in the worst way imaginable and the thing was, he never even knew it.

But she had remembered. Oh yes. She remembered how he made her look like a complete idiot in front of everyone on the board, correcting her mistakes and showing her up. She longed to reach right through the computer screen, wrap her fingers around Idle’s neck and just squeeze until the lack of oxygen turned his face black. But she held it in, not telling anyone except one of her favorite and trusted Doper friends about her profound anger, always wishing for a chance to give him back all he desevered.
Then, it happened. She had gotten the formal invitation to the party. This would be the most perfect chance to pay him back. She got in touch with herpal and found her friend also had recieved an invite. It was a plan in the making.

Her and her friend stayed up long hours of the night in chat rooms discussing ways to get him back. Murder was, no doubt, the option they chose. But how? It wasn’t going to be easy to bump someone off in the presence of 38 other people.

Her friend was the one who thought of the medication that Idle took. It was semi-common knowledge that he was on Paxil for anxiety as he once said this in a post (and she read every one of his posts in preparation, always looking and waiting for a chance to use something against him). Her friend said that if they could find the adverse side to that drug, the ingestion of it would cause peculiar side effects, and maybe the plan would go easier.

So they looked.
And what they came up with was Demarol.

Demarol was a simple poison used for killing insects. While not overly poisonous to humans, it was not recommended for drinking. It was also tasteless and odorless. What also drew them to Demarol was the ingredients. It had a lot of the same stuff that some medications had, plus tons of other things they never heard of. It would be like a daily dose of a med, along with lots of other…interesting stuff…thrown in.
They knew it would probably not kill him, if it did do anything at all. So before the big night, intheir Arizona motel room, two knives and a gun went into their knapsack as well.
They made sure to arrive at different times. She arrived first; her friend a couple hours later. At the party they mingleda bit, but otherwisestayed clear of oneanotheras tonot arouse suspicsion.

Her friend had the bottle of Demarol and passed it to her as stealthily as a ninja could have done. She had made her way to the punch bowl. Seeing Idle get numerous drinks from it, she knew thathe’d be back for more sometime. She had popped the cap off and poured a bit into the red, cool liquid.

She had no qualms that the poison would do the job. Later…well…

She hadn’t wagered in anyone else being on medication. She watched in horror as it effected a few others in different ways. Oakminster fell asleep. Mr Bus Guy basically got intoxicated off it.

Idle was great, however. She saw as he spoke to Guin from a distance. He looked dizzy on his feet, confused, sweating profusly. She smiled to herself.

When he left Guin to go to the bathroom, she saw her chance. Fingering the knife in her dress pocket, she waited about fifteen minutes before looking around to be sure that nobody saw her. In front of the bathroom door she quickly pulled the knife from her pocket and pushed the door open.

Idle never knew what hit him. He had been looking at himself in the mirror, back to her. When the door opened he got as far as a half turn before she drove the knife into the center of his back, then closed the door. As she walked away, she saw him in her minds eye strugging, then slowly collapsing to the floor.

All was silent.

What was that? She heard footsteps coming this way! Down the hall. Any minute somone was going to come around that corner.
She ran to the cross section and made it look like she emerged from a closet. At the start of the hallway she passed a girl she didn’t recognize. Then she made her way back to the floor. Her friend looked at her from across the room and she gave a thumbs up.
About three minutes before Marley screamed at finding the body, her friend went to the table with all the bags and transfered The other weapons and the bottle of poison from their bag to the one with the green stripe. They knew this was Sapos.

The show was finished.

The screams began.

The aftermath and meeting went smoother then expected. Her friend had been accounted for. As far as herself, well, for awhile she had come close, but now it was different.

Now life was grand.
She watched as Officer Crane took a handcuffed Sapo away. He was still screaming that he knew who did it. But he was shouting all of their names, randomly saying members out loud and just gibbering in general. Everyone started to disapate. They trudged tiredly to their cars.

Her friend stepped up beside her.

“Well, it appears we did it. Good thing I got the items into Sapo’s bag when I did. I might not have had the chance later. Idle was found so quickly.” Green Bean said.

Twickster turned to look at her and smiled. “Yeah, you did great. I guess now Idle knows who NOT to mess with.” She sighed. “I kinda wish he had been able to talk after I stabbed him though. Just to hear any pathetic last words he may have had. May be burn in hell.”

She and Green Bean laughed. They stood there a moment longer, then walked off together into the night.

The End.

Huh. And I was so sure it was me.

I knew it!

Not.

Regards,
Shodan

Hey, wait – I agreed to let you make me the murderer, but to say it was because you made me look like an idiot? I thought it would be something, yanno, plausible! :wink:

resolves never to make twickster look like an idiot
hurriedly sneaks up behind twicks and removes the “kick me” sign

Well, I needed some motive for murder. :stuck_out_tongue: And finding motive to commit murder based on something that happened on a message board isn’t easy. :frowning:

Yay! I’m glad we finally found out who murdered you!

Wait, seriously? Damn near every pit thread is pulsing with a, “I’LL KILL YOU TO DEATH!” vibe. :slight_smile:

Geez. Kill you to DEATH?! That is uncalled for. Kill me to nearly death.

I would have never guessed Twickster. Good work, Idle.

Yeah, the hatewaves coming off of GD can fry you. I can see murder happening over the under/over toilet paper debate, let alone serious philosophical issues. “You say there’s no such thing as an afterlife? How 'bout I send you to Hell to see for yourself.” “Good thing you believe in Heaven, then, because you’re going in five minutes.” It’s a tinderbox in there.