I had a very weird and vivid dream the other night. My mother, my grandmother, and myself were riding in an old car and pulled up to a large a-frame structure in the middle of the country. I remember we were looking for something but I’m not sure what. The inside of the building was one big empty room on top of a 4’-5’ high crawlspace with a dirt floor. We all crawled into the crawlspace, and I remember worrying about getting dirt on my jeans and thought to myself that I should change into my ‘Matrix Pants’ and my jeans transformed into leather. Under the floor was a bunch of old furniture, which seemed to be what my mother and grandmother were looking for, but I saw something colorful lying in the dirt off to one side, and crawled over to it - and realized it was a pile of dead Teletubbies, after which I woke up.
hmmm, by chance is your biological clock “ticking” and your worrying about getting old? (You’re still the “hip” you…just older…)
Seriously, I have had like 2 dreams in my life that made any sense…(ah but those two…a threesome with me, Jamie Lee Curtis and Angelina Jolie…mmmmmmmm)…the rest were just some weird shit my brain regurgitated for it’s own amusement. Dreams are fun that way.
Just keep saying to yourself “It was all a dream”.
I know the truth, buddy 
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Dreams always worry me because they tend to never make sense. Why teletubbies? Why an A-frame? I think as scientists keep going in the direction they are headed down the dream path, we will soon have a better understanding of wtf is going on with 'em. I have heard that dreams are created by the last conscience thought you have…that explains guys with all the sex dreams, but what about the girls?
Mmmmmm. Dead teletubbies.
Well, according to my Dream Dictionary, you should stay far away from any live chickens, especially if you’re wearing a red jacket. And don’t wear high heels, even if nobody’s home.
And Freud would say…
Night before last:
Dreamed that a co-worker and I were in a plane that had landed in Russia by mistake. We had no visas or passports, but we “knew if we didn’t get off the plane, we wouldn’t be in trouble.” My co-worker (who is very playful and mischievous) kept insisting that he was getting off the plane because he couldn’t miss the chance to see Russia and I kept telling him if he did, he’d never get to go home again. I woke up before I found out if he’d really get off the plane or not.
Last night:
Dreamed that my dog had a seizure and died right in front of me. I was heartbroken, of course. I called my family and someone came and got her to dispose of the poor thing. They came back and told me they’d dumped her in the river because she loved to ride in the boat. (Yeah, I know, but it’s a dream, okay?) Anyway, turns out she wasn’t dead after all. She swam to shore and someone found her collar and tag and returned her to me. Of course I felt incredibly guilty because I had given her up for dead.
Okay, do these dreams sound like I’m on drugs, or what?
The doctor is in. Lie down, Mr. Maru, and let’s talk.
You need maternal approval of the object of your desire. Very common.
What else makes an A-frame shape? The open legs of a female, perhaps? Um hmmm. Continue.
A woman, of course. Someone with whom to pass on your genes. The prior reference to “the middle of the country” indicates that you are looking for a simple woman who sahres your values, not all glitz and glamour.
The vagina, or perhaps the womb.
The other, “dirtier”, less used opening immediately below the vagina. I think we all know what that means. Go on.
Anal sex. You are not ready to commit to really passing on your genes, but you crave intimacy. The fact that you brought your mother and grandmother along this far indicates that you need for your maternal influences to be intimately appreciative of your prospective mate.
Obviously, your “jeans” represent your manhood - your genes. I think the “dirt” is self explanatory given where your “jeans” are at the moment.
You realize a condom would be a good idea.
A lambskin condom. Good choice.
Someone has been here before. She’s not a virgin. You believe that this will have a bearing on the maternal acceptance you crave.
Your spermies. You realize that they will simply die in the “crawlspace” and not further your genes. The “colorful” reference indicates that you think very highly of your little swimmers. It’s a guy thing. The “Teletubbies” link to your swimmers simply means that you are a sick puppy.
Or it all could be due to the double pepperoni and anchovy pizza you ate. Whatever.
A few nights ago I dreamed that Wilt Chamberlin was testifying before Congress that the moon landing was a hoax. The Senators were really grilling him, but I tell you Wilt the Stilt was more than holding his own and had an answer for everything.
That’s what I call a weird dream. 