A time-traveling, hijacked MMP

Yesterday, something horrible happened to me. It’s not so horrible that I can’t laugh about it now, but let me tell you—the first hour or so after it happened was literally filled with horror.

As is customary in the aftermath of such a thing, I immediately went online to find other people who had felt the same horror. And I found message boards. Tons of them. On every subject.

After reading three or four posts per board, I came to a conclusion. The Internet is full of stupid people. People who are rude. People who are impolite. People who like cant omg spell put 2gether a propur sentace or use any kind of punkshuashion. I fled, dear friends. I fled to the only place I’ve ever been comfortable, the only place I’ve ever been accepted—nay, even lauded—for my attention to proper spelling and grammar.

Upon arriving at the Dope, I discovered that my last login had been on December 31, 2007. Surely, I thought, this cannot be correct.

But it is, my computer replied. And don’t call me Shirley.

So, I thought about hopping in my time machine and going back to January 1, 2008, to make sure I never stopped posting, never let my subscription lapse. Then I discovered that the flux capacitor is running low on gigawatts, and it was much easier to jump forward only one day and steal this week’s MMP.

(You were wondering when I’d get to the time-traveling part, weren’t you? Admit it.)

But first, I re-upped for the year. I wonder if my little doohickey will still say “Charter Member.” Oh, the excitement.

Speaking of excitement, I still have none. Life is pretty much the same as it was when I last posted, only a lot less busy. My company isn’t doing so well, so they’ve cut us all back to a 4-day work week (bad news—20% less pay/good news—20% less working), and Roomie’s got herself a new boyfriend that she’s certifiably stupid over, so I get the house to myself about fifty percent of the weekends. The dog and cats are healthy, and I spend most of my weekends on the couch rotting my brain with television and crafts—currently my passion is cross stitch projects of naughty words, helpful sayings, and absolute geekdom.

In conclusion, my friends, I’m back. I still can’t Dope from work, but I have degenerated to keeping my laptop on the arm of my couch, so I’m almost confident I can keep up.

And about that horrible thing that happened yesterday … well, I think it’s a little much for the opening post of an MMP. Not to mention completely mortifying, in that “How the hell am I supposed to explain this??” way that we all love so much. But once I know who’s still around, I’ll tell y’all, if you ask nice. :slight_smile:

Welcome back, Drae!! I love the Naughty Words - there’s something too amusing about a very proper bit of needlework saying something shocking. I would *so *do that if I embroidered. But I’ve done it in the past, and I don’t enjoy it.

However, this rushing from Sunday into Monday is not so good. My weekends are short enough as it is!!! :stuck_out_tongue:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11053147&postcount=215

I thought I’d link to my last post in the old MMP. It’s important to me.

Draelin- I really, really want to know.

Welcome back Drae! I’m caffeinating and walking the zoo. I need to claen, and pick up some thing for the pregame tailgate. Woo!

Howdy Drae! Glad u r back. :stuck_out_tongue:

Do tell us all about the horrible thing! What? You said you would if we asked!

Soapy I wish I could hear your mother’s speech. Has she written down any of her memories? I know they are horrible memories but I’m wonderin’ if her history is written down so others will know and learn.

I made brekkies and am now all dressed up for churchification where I shall head shortly.

Later Y’all!

Good morning!

Welcome back Drae - you long lost hijacker! Yes, tell the story already.

Thanks for the link, Soapy. I would like to hear her speech, too.

Gotta make breakfast for the hungry hoards…

I’ll be back!

Whoaaaaaa! It’s Drae! We’ve missed you. Please, do tell.

Thanks for the link, Soapy. I was disappointed by NPR this morning when they mentioned it was the anniversary of Oklahoma City and of the Branch Davidian massacre, but didn’t mention Yom HaShoah (maybe they’ll have a separate story about it or something tomorrow). ETA: Please share more…

Gotta get going.

GT

DRAELIN! Darling–you have been missed. How’s the bell tower? And the kitties?

Do sit down and spill, girl. <sits down and waits>

Hooray!! People remember me!

Okay, so what I’m about to tell you is terribly TMI, at least a little risque, and so mortifying I immediately paid $14.95 to renew my subscription and tell you guys all about it.

The entire episode can be summed up in four words. The first two are amusing and only mildly embarrassing:

Exploding vibrator.

It’s the second two that make the whole thing so horrifying.

Battery acid.

For those who braved it and are done laughing, I’m fine. I feel incredibly stupid but also enormously thankful that none of the really important bits got hit. I would say it’s a first degree burn, a little uncomfortable, but nothing I can’t handle.

And I would say it took about an hour for the pain to fade enough that it started to be funny. :slight_smile:

Drae! It’s damn good to see you again! I was just thinking about you the other day and here you are!

I’m tired and trying to wake the hell up. I had a lot of fun at a friend’s 99 party and won TWICE out of three rounds. Woohoo!

The sun is out and it’s beautiful and actually sort of warm. I’m waiting for hubby to wake up and then we’ll head out to brekkies. After that, it’s yard work and getting the grill ready to grill up some steaks. I think I’ll make tater salad to go along with the steaks and grill some veggies along side the steaks.

So one professor has responded, telling me I need to talk to the Associate Dean for Undergraduate Affairs to change the syllabus. I guess I’ll make an appointment to meet with her when I drive back tomorrow. I have a paper for the other class technically due on Tuesday, but there’s no way in hell I can do it.

OMG. Too funny- I mean: I’m so sorry are you ok- no I really mean: too funny!

Next time don’t set it to 11.:wink: Glad you’re OK, though.

I went to Wally World and bought tailgate supplies. They had just the thing to feed your LOLpet: FUD brand hotdogs.:smiley: Nelly and Gordie went to the DOGPARK!. I’m getting ready to do a quick rug shamoo, then head out.

Funny story, Drae! I’m glad you’re ok - that would have been a hell of a story for the ER… :slight_smile:

We’re heading to the [del]mudhole[/del] dog park too. The kids need to run!

Oh believe me–through the pain, the washing, the first aid, the frantically searching the internet for suggestions on other first aid ideas … all I could think was Please please please Og, don’t make me have to go to the hospital.

Drae: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Home from assorted chores and errands. I got the last coat of Cetol on the teak - it looks good. **FCD **removed all the masking tape - apparently a really messy job. Daughter and I went to WalMart for groceries, and we got some plants, too. I got petunias and begonias for my flower boxes, plus some 'mater and cuke plants to be grown in big pots, since I won’t be having an in-ground garden this year. Daughter got some assorted flowers and cleaned out a bed just outside their apartment door. With the rain we’re supposed to get, I think all of our plantings should do well.

Rotisserie chicken for supper - I’ll get it started about 4:30 or so. I need to do some clay work, too, but I sure don’t feel like it. I had a lousy night and I’m really tired. But once I get started, I think I’ll do OK. It’s that lack of motivation that’s kicking butt.

Some time this week, I should be making the reservations for my trek to Seattle/Tacoma. Can’t wait - not only will the training be super-neato, but I’ll get to see **Taters **again! :smiley:

Guess I need to get the clay stuff going…

Was that before or after the fire department responded? :stuck_out_tongue:

I also need to make a connection between this cross-stitch and the fact you live in a bell tower…

Some asshole tried to buy a $1400 computer on my AMEX card this weekend. AMEX called me; good for them.

Planted 8 rose bushes this morning, after going fishing. Not a bad day today; at least no liquor stores burned down this time around.

My other professor has responded, and he’s okay with negotiating with me on what my paper will be about. Apparently, I only have one left, so I’ll have to clear that up with him.

I cannot help but notice nobody has yelled TMI at Drae. Funny though it is, it’s the TMIiest TMI we’ve had in a while. :smiley: Definitely worth coughin’ 14.95 to share.

Cap’n glad to know you got one professor willin’ to deal. May the others also be willin’ given the circumstances.

BBBobbio sucks about the cc hijack but good for AMEX. Somebody tried that on me a couple of years back and MasterCard caught it right off the bat and called me. I even wrote a letter thanking them for their vigilance and timely reporting.

We went out to the Chinese [del] hog trough[/del] buffet for lunch. ‘Twas good but tummy is bein’ a little disagreeable right now.

Oh, my, Drae. Definitely TMI, but thanks so much for sharing. Glad the pain has subsided and that you’re able to share and deal with us giggling about it. And going :eek::eek::eek::eek: Nice to hear that life in the belltower is going well.

I’m sure the assistant dean has dealt with things like this before. If not, contact the Dean and/or the provost. It really shouldn’t be a big deal for them to handle this.

If you haven’t read Soapy’s thread about Holocaust Rememberance Day, you should.

I’ve been to church, the art museum, JoAnn’s, Michael’s and Whole Foods. Now I’m having a mango lassi and am about to go outside and deal with weeds. Even if it’s raining.

The stop at the art museum was to see Art in Bloom because one of my friends was interpreting a painting again. Overall, I don’t think it was quite as good as it has been other years, but still, several were breathtaking. I’ll post pictures in a bit.

Hope everyone else is having a nice Sunday.

Back after a bit.

GT