Nope - He did live on the west coast a couple of years, ago, though.
Then perhaps he has a long-lost clone!
Anyway, glad to know that things have worked out for you! 
Thinks2much, I think you convinced me to get back into the Internet dating scene. Hmm, maybe that sounds kind of wierd, but just reading your story it made me realize that for better or worse, your whole experience sounded quite interesting. I know if I was in your shoes I’d be full of mixed emotions, though at the very least it would be some kind of change…
…then again, I might want to hold off until I graduate and my life gets a little more stable. Still, dont discount that your own efforts and challenges give other people hope! Hell, for me, getting two dates from the same person would be a definite step up (I’ve been single for a really long time in case you are wondering)
He has two brothers, but I don’t think either of them lived in New England any time recently, either.
Thanks!! Although I wouldn’t go so far as to say it has worked out, just that we have made it over a big hurdle. I need to try to stay rational here and take it easy… I don’t want to repeat the rolloercoaster ride.
I am glad I inspired you, I think. 
I don’t know about waiting for life to be stable, though. Life goes on. It can take a long time to meet someone through the Internet. You go through a lot of trial and error - see jsgoddess’s story. In my experience, most everyone I have met is not at a stable point in their lives. I don’t know if there is such a thing. There is always something. If you feel up to the challenge and the rollercoaster ride, that is all that matters. It has its highs and lows, which can be preferrable to nothing, but damn, those lows can be rotten. There is so much disappointment and rejection just trying to get a first date. Best of luck to you - let me know what you decide to do and how it goes. I’ll share my approaches with you, if you like.
There is another possibility here. I hate to admit it, but this went through my head because it is what I do.
He pulled back to see how far you would reach out.
The more you reach out and try to pull him back, the more he will pull away. Strange, huh? I can’t explain it. The best I can say is that it derives from insecurities. He needs to know you care, and this is one way to find out.
Yikes. This is worse than playing the fish on the line or the fox not jumping in your lap. How long would you play such a game? If she decides to jump off the rollercoaster, do you let her go or chase her then?
How long does the game go on? Until I get it through my thick skull that I’m being an asshat and that yes, she really does care.
I can’t tell you what would happen if she decided to jump. Hasn’t happened. What usually happens is a fight of some sort, when things tend to come out. It has never helped me for her to press for me to talk about it. That is usually when a fight happens.
What does help is for her to clearly and plainly explain that she can tell something is bothering me, and that she would dearly love to be part of the solution. In short, express genuine affection without prostating herself. Just don’t expect a flood of conversation when you open the door. It takes a day or two for it to sink in. In the mean time, try to give lots of opportunities for the flood gates to open… keep in contact, but don’t be smothing.
I’m not saying any of this is sane. It isn’t. But an insecure person who meets a wonderful companion isn’t sane. I could quite possibly be the only person in the world that acts like this, so take it for what it is worth.
So how does one deal with an MD ? A good start might be to not label them with some initials, unless you are a practicing psychiatrist, and even then the term to use would be bipolar disorder.
I have a long term (8 years plus) relationship, two jobs in a challenging field (one of which happens to be dialysis nursing), and I am diagnosed with bipolar type 2.
It’s really not nice to call people by their disease, ya know? I’m sure you wouldn’t refer to anyone as a cancer.
Some people are manic, some are depressive and some are just assholes. You may have hooked up with the third variety. You didn’t do anything wrong, as far as I can tell. Hang in there, OK?
You are entirely correct. Please pardon my clumsiness, and thank you for pointing it out so I can be more thoughtful in the future. It wasn’t intended as cruelly as it came out. Just so you know, it wouldn’t make any difference to me if he has a disorder of that kind. We all have our issues.
He was the one doing all the talking, the night they played pool. T2M talked a lot the say he showed up acting sullen, but undoubtedly out of nervousness. As far as her wanting to know the status of their “very short relationship”, I don’t think she’s out of line just wanting to know if she should include him in her short-term plans.
T2M’s update puts things in a slightly different light, but I still have to differ with what you said. I don’t buy that “bit of a chase” business. You make it sound like T2M should have slapped his hand away with her ivory fan. He acted interested; she responded. She’s not demanding that he commit to her right now; she just wants to know what’s going on.
It sounds to me like one of several possibilities:
—He shot his load, emotionally, and consequently lost his enthusiasm
—He got on the Yahoo matchmaking site because he was looking for dates, not a partner
—What other people said. Interested in someone else; not fully recovered from his divorce; mood swings possibly health related.
Keep us posted, T2M. But my advice, FWIW, is that the next time he switches gears on you should be the last.
I can’t believe that you went to IHOP the first night you met.
I met a guy over my computer 19 years ago. It was before the internet really got rolling, but there were local Bulletin Board Systems that were similar to small scale SDMBs. We flirted in our posts, exchanged emails, talked for hours on the phone – for three months.
I finally and impulsively agreed to meet him for coffee. And what was the only thing open? IHOP, of course. We’ve been married 18 years.
You deserve to be treated with respect and so does he. Never wait for a phone call. Never put yourself down to him again. (Both of you will start to belief it. )Learn to enjoy watching movies together. (That is not wasting time.) Encourage him to do what makes him happy and you do the same. Have other things going on in your life. Don’t examine his every move and word.
Now go be happy or else! 
Rilchiam - Thanks for the defense. I agree - if he pulls another gear change without explaining himself, I am getting off the rollercoaster. I think you are on to something with only wanting dates, not a partner - except that my profile clearly stated that I am not just looking for dates, so he should have known what he was getting into.
Can you explain more specifically what you mean by not putting myself down to him? My self esteem isn’t the best and you’re probably right that I have, so I need to know what to avoid exactly.
I never said watching movies was a waste of time - I said it was a waste of an empty house. I have a 4 year old son so I have very little privacy. So when I do actually have some privacy, I tend to want to take advantage of it. I didn’t know at that point that he was being distant because he wanted to slow us down or I wouldn’t have instigated the bedroom thing. Plus our date was only going to be 2.5 hours long and we were not talking AT ALL during the movie. I actually love watching movies, and he and I have very similar tastes, too, so it something I hope to do more of in the future.