Some of you may remember the “I’m taken!” thread I posted last year when I decided to make a go of an Internet relationship. I haven’t said much about this relationship on here since then, other than occasional references here and there to “S” or “my boyfriend.”
He’s since gotten very busy doing work at church, and hasn’t communicated much to me at all in the past couple of weeks or month. While I understand people being busy, I felt that I was being put on the back burner, and he didn’t make any effort to communicate. I sent him an email with several important questions about the relationship a couple of weeks ago, which to date he hasn’t responded to. People have said that if he didn’t respond, it meant that he didn’t want to say anything to me.
After much thinking about this and his past unreliability (blaming my phone lines for calls not getting through, constantly forgetting to call me, etc.), I felt I had to say something for my sanity’s sake.
No words can describe how I feel right now.
Suffice to say that I officially ended it.
I feel bad for breaking up for the surface reason of “he’s too busy for me,” but then there WAS the whole lack of communication thing also.
Nothing can describe how I feel right now. Suffice to say that I officially ended it earlier this afternoon. I thought he deserved the courtesy of knowing, rather than our just drifting apart. He knew already how I felt: remember that email he never answered? (which he says he’ll answer now as soon as he can, because I at least deserve that… ha ha ha, we shall see on THAT one!
)
He’s apologizing profusely now, and saying that he didn’t anticipate his life getting so crazy. I can understand that, but all I wanted was for him to COMMUNICATE once in a while!
Maybe I’m not understanding enough, but I put in a lot of effort into this thing. He says he wishes me nothing but blessings and happiness, and wants me to know that he’ll always be my friend. (and maybe we were only meant to be together for just over eleven months)
Before everyone gets the idea that I feel totally nonchalant about things, I don’t! A part of me still loves him, as contradictory as that may sound. So now I feel absolutely horrible that I even have to do this to him, to us. But my practical side asserts itself and says that there wasn’t that much of a future.
Sigh… I hope it gets easier.