FTR, this is in no way directed towards anyone here, nor is it meant to address a topic addressed anywhere here. Rather, it is directed towards the fine group of people that tend to associate with me.
That said:
I can’t fucking believe that every motherfucking one of you is gone right now. Every one of you shit-eating children-of-a-bitch knows every fucking detail of the shit I’m going through right now, and every monkey-pumping one of you doesn’t seem to give a damn. I’ve known most of you for excessively long amounts of time, and in that time, this is the one goddamned night when I truly need one of you to be here, or to talk to, or even to appear to give a shit. I’ve been sitting in this same fucking chair most of the day, awash in a strange combination of self-pity and self-loathing, and every one of you fuckers is nowhere to be found. How many fucking nights have I spent with you, getting you through situations that mirror this one? Where the fuck are you people?
I hope you e mailed this to the people that you’re so upset with Pantology, people don’t always let you down on purpose, sometimes they just don’t ‘get’ how upset you might be, or what your needs are. On second thought, I hope you DIDN’T e mail them, just calm down and tell them instead.
If that made you feel better Pant then I for one am glad you vented. It seems you are learning one of life’s rather harsh lessons, that there is no one on this plane of existence that you can count on %100 of the time. Learn to be an island unto yourself, people are flawed - every last one of us, and will let others down whether we mean to or not.
What exactly is your crisis, the thing that is causing your stress? (You don’t need to be lengthy or terribly specific, just give us a vague understanding of the severity of the problem.)
Sometimes friends are too freaked out or uncomfortable to know what to do with someone who is going through serious shit. They are afraid they’ll say the “wrong thing”, so avoiding you seems like the safer thing to do. Or, they are a little bit emotionally shut off, and dealing with someone elses’ emotional outbursts (and yeah, looks like you have that) gives them the willies. Selfish, perhaps, maybe a little weak. But not evil, or anything.
Or, it could be as simple as you just telling them, in a calm and matter-of-fact manner, what is going on with you, the kind of help you’d like. (Do errands? Just sit and listen? Just spend time with you and watch TV, or drink beer, hang out?) What do you want? If they know that they can help in some specific way, they might be around more.
Just a wild-assed guess. I really have no idea what is going on with you.
Wow–I really was not expecting any sympathy, I just needed to vent. Thanks folks, I really appreciate it.
I went through a rather messy breakup recently, and I just really didn’t want to be alone last night–typical college angst. I wanted to be distracted, and not have to face things and deal with them. Not particularly healthy, perhaps, but I wasn’t really thinking clearly.
Most of my friends were out of town, which didn’t help things any; this is largely what triggered the above outburst. A bit selfish, yes, but I’d have been there for them, dammit! FTR, I’m not at all bitter (now).
Anyway, I vented, cranked the stereo, sat back, and started to feel better. Shortly after I posted that, a friend of mine a few states away IMed me, asking how I was doing, if I’d be okay, that sort of thing. It was a two-minute exchange, but it helped a great deal. Around 1am someone came over to keep me company, and we talked until about 8:30am.
That said, I’m feeling a great deal better now.
And no, none of you are supposed to care, but thanks to those that did.
